Father Joe Kunnumpuram of Atmadarshan in Patna, India, has proposed a new way of getting rid of past painful memories, which he calls it as Awareness Meditative Relaxation (AMR) therapy, using which one can try to get out of the memories. After going through the therapy I felt that it may not be entirely scientific and psychological and there are a lot of loopholes in the design of the therapy, but what is important here is that a person with painful memories is led to re-live that experience, and feel the pain, humiliation and shame to the maximum level possible, and feel the bodily reaction to such zenith of pain and shame; then they are led to relax their bodies, until they experience a different kind of bodily sensation, and that may make a lot of difference in the way the memories may appear to them. The method that is proposed here is the one of embracing one’s shadows, instead of running away from them. This is based on the common notion that we give power to the people or things we are frightened of. Let us delve a little deep into this mystery, that may help us take control over ourselves.
It is not enough to recognize a shadow in me, or an enemy wandering in the woods of my heart and often frightening me, putting me to shame and humiliation that I feel often annoyed and irritated with my colleagues for no reason. Our journey to freedom surely begins with recognition, but we cannot stop there; that is just the beginning of the journey, we need to move ahead. The second and more important stage is embracing the shadows, until a moment when I cannot see them as something or someone there outside of me, but something that is part of me. I can control that which is in me or within me, but may not be able to do the same when it is out of me. It is important that we embrace the shadows, instead of settling scores with them. The very word embrace carries with it sentiments of empathy, compassion and a lot of understanding. I am not to blame myself or any one else for the painful memories that I am still carrying; not even myself is fully responsible for what had happened. That is how things had taken place, and I or others had no control over it.
Therefore my concern here and now is how I am going to get out of them peacefully and amicably, without picking quarrels with any one for what had happened. No blame game can bring peace and tranquility in my heart and cure me fully of the memories. This part of the exercise concerns me and only me, here I do not need to seek any kind of help or assistance from others. In simple terms, here I am to recognize the memories and tell myself that I or others had no control over what had happened, but now I would like to get out of these of my own accord. This incident has caused a lot of pain and shame in my life, and has become my second self or nature, so I wholeheartedly accept it as myself and incorporate it into my life.
Much of the time we are not able to get out of these memories, because we often see others as responsible for what had happened, and therefore we cannot forgive them. We carry a lot of hatred and vengeance for them, whether they are dead or alive, whether they are living nearby or far away, whether they are in friendly terms or not in talking terms. Embracing our shadows necessarily means that for the sake of my peace, I need to let the other persons go free; but I am not giving them a clean chit, telling they are not responsible for what had happened, but I only let them go, because I want my peace again. This is more difficult in the case of people who had gone through a horrifying incident many many years ago. It may take quite some time for these people to heal all those years slowly and steadily. But if the process begins, we can take it for granted that the journey is half done.
How do I begin to embrace my shadows? Every shadows have their brighter side too. Let me not start with the shadows from their darker side, rather let me begin from the brigher side. If you look at a candle, you will see that there is darkness just below the candle, but just above the shadow, there is light. Let me find at least one good point about the person involved in my painful memory; if I am able to see more than one good point which I would generally admire, then I stay with that quality for a while, when I feel somewhat happy about the person. Let me be clear that I am not justifying whatever he/she had done, nor am I letting that person go scot free; I am only readying to free myself from his/her clutches. Let me dwell on the good quality of the person/s as long as I can, and see how much body feels about the person; sometimes it is possible that the very thought of the person repels me, in which case I will have to let my mind get hold of something that may positively bring my mind to think about his/her good qualities. Let me look at his/her face, speak to him/her, and listen too. Now, let me not immediately jump into looking at the darker side of the event / incident. I finish the exercise there, and you may think that I have not completed the exercise. But that has been done purposely, so that my mind may linger on what I had been thinking about, and it may have an invisible effect on me.
No comments:
Post a Comment