Running for Recognition

This senior friend of ours is a notorious do-gooder! Anyone can ask him for a favor at any time, and he would be prepared to leave everything behind to help the person! I should be happy to find such a good soul, but that is not the whole truth; that is only a small portion of his personality. But that glorious side of the friend is so well expressed and exhibited that most people take for granted that he is gem of a character! He had been an infirmarian in one of our large houses for some years, and he would take care of the sick who are on the verge of bidding goodbye to the world in such a manner that very few can do that, and we know that in such situations, our friend is fully himself, and gives himself fully too.

One of his other virtues worth mentioning is that he would do anything to the persons he likes, and has to get some favor through him/her. He would go out of his way to help a person, knowing well that he has to get a greater favor, and a bigger one in the not so distant future. We may call him calculative, and he knows how to move his soldiers. The interests of the people who matter to him most often become his own interests. So if he is doing something wonderful for some people, one can be sure that he has got to receive something out of them. And the formula works fine for him, and over the years he has only fine-tuned his tastes and procedures.

I would not be exaggerating if I were to say that he is one of the busiest persons in our circles, and call him on his mobile phone at any hour, you will hear him say that he is in such and such place! He loves to move around, and drive people or accompany them, and he really enjoys it. He may not mind driving people crazy too, and we have had several instances when people had been annoyed with him for not paying attention to them, when they needed his help. That is where the other side of the personality unfolds. He would be found seldom doing what he is supposed to do, what he is expected to do, but busy with everything else, and that could be quite annoying for the people who are to receive directions from him about how to proceed.

He loves good food, and the ever bulging stomach for him is no problem at all, and he does not believe in doing exercises to tone down the body. He loves gossiping, and grumbling about anything under the sky; he would spend hours and hours yapping with persons who get along well with him. Now why am I pouring out so much about him here and now? How does this person affect me? Some days ago I had asked for his assistance on an official work, which he readily agreed. But even after three days I did not get any response to him, and so I had to do it by myself. And the next time when I met him, I told him that since he did not have time, I had to do the work by myself.

More than anything else, I have felt that this friend of ours was looking for ‘recognition’, and in order to win the appreciation and applause of others, he would do anything for them. Doing a routine job which has been assigned to him, surely is not going to get him the appreciation of the people around. While he would do all the odd jobs outside, he would not do even the least expected jobs in his house. I realize the danger of trying to please all the people, and in turn wanting others to please him. It is only when we go beyond the need and want for recognition that we can reach out to the truly needy persons. I only wish at least some times when he is wanted by the people he is expected to take care of, he is their at their side.

Pat on the Back

While discussing with friends about one of my very senior friends (a 75 year old nun, who became very affectionate towards me over the past year), one of the common comments I hear is that she was in need of a pat on her back every now and then. She needed exclusive care from the other nuns, who lived with her; she would be delighted if the Superior of the house were to visit her a couple of times during the day and enquired about her health. She felt sick when the other sisters did not seem to take special note of her! That is the reason why, when I visited her during my monthly visits to the Sisters, she was more than joyous, to get the much needed attention, and she was very different during the few hours I spent with the sisters.

But she is not the only one we can blame for seeking this kind of exclusive attention of the dear ones. As we grow old, we in fact return to our childhood days, and we behave exactly like children do. It is a proven fact that children look forward to the exclusive care and attention of their parents, or relatives or even siblings. When they do not get it, then they do all pranks to get the much needed attention. All of us go through this stage at sometime or other! Sometimes when this psychological need becomes compulsive that we feel life so meaningless and dry without the attention of others, then every hour may turn out to be a hell.

Today while talking to a neighborhood bishop, I heard a similar story about a middle-aged priest, who began to find a hundred and one mistakes to blame the bishop, until he was given an office which is respectable, and now he is more than normal; he does not find fault with the bishop anymore and has even begun to find some good things to appreciate the bishop for. But once these people become addicted to the pat on the back, they may not do anything, until they get the pat! It is an addiction, just like addiction to smoking, or alcohol, or any kind of compulsive behavior. One may do this even without being conscious of it.

Many of us stop growing, when we are halted by such things as this compulsive behavior to get recognition from those who matter in our circles. This happens largely because we have not adequately recognized ourselves, what we are, what we are capable of, what we have achieved through sheer personal charisma. If I look for recognition from outside, that only implies that I had not boosted my self-image and worth, by asserting my strengths. When I feel the need to get recognition from others, I may as well ask, what has stopped me from giving a pat on my back, all by myself?

It maybe time that I begin to look for recognition from outsiders, but start giving a pat by myself. All that you need to do is to put both the hands across the shoulder and gently pat the shoulder. Use any sweet sounding words to accompany this action.Those who are tied down by recognition from others, may stop living, when others begin to show their attention to someone else, or something else. When I recognize myself, I begin to recognize the Inner Self which is dwelling deep within me, and that is my God, that is my true Being, that is Brahman, that is the Spirit! When I recognize myself, I recognize God, and the world then may look so very different in my eyes!

Physician, heal thyself! (M1)

The present-day physicians will pounce on Jesus, if they were told this apparent naïve statement, because it is a known fact in medical circles that self-medication is dangerous, even if it is meant for the physicians themselves. But let us not blame Jesus for this naïve statement, because Jesus is merely quoting the Jewish sacred scriptures. You may blame me, for here I am going to propose a psycho-spiritual method of healing one’s past painful memories. There are no dearths for the different ways and means to get rid of one’s painful memories and start life anew; there are psychological procedures which help a person to heal the wounds gradually through a process of recognizing and embracing the shadows. We shall however start a process of psycho-spiritual healing of these wounds, which might be causing us dearly. But before we embark on that journey, let us realize that the resources for healing of our wounds are there in us all the time. We only need to know how to harness these resources for our inner healing.

There is so much of power and energy all around us that we seldom take note of this fact; there is energy in different forms and shapes, often without form and shape. But there is greater amount of energy that is flowing through our veins, through our mental rays, if I may coin a phrase to mean the invisible rays that flow from one mind to another, through a non-verbal communication; call it telepathy or bi-location, it is possible for human beings to transcend the physical body using the powers that lie dormant in our bodies and make use of them to enter deeper into the psyche of the universe. You may not have much to disagree with me regarding this point, because there are instances when we see for ourselves how the body organizes its cells, its resistance power to heal itself of ailments that normally attack us. There are virus attacks, and complications in the organization of our body parts, and slowly the body adjusts itself and brings into healing. Is it not a wonderful thing that we can be fully healed of stomach aches, headaches, and even some major kind of sicknesses without taking recourse to medicine?

Unfortunately there are no do-it-yourself guides or tutorials as to how we can make use of the powers and energy zones that are available in our bodies, in order to overcome our painful memories. There is no super computer on earth which is as flexible and supple as the worst of human bodies; for while the body is able to carry out mechanical jobs, it also adjusts its mechanism in order to make the best out of the body. Today is the time for me to recognize the energy zones in my body, so that at will I may be able to take recourse to it. But the bad news is no one can tell me for sure where my energy zone is; is it the brain or the heart? Or is it the hands or the feet? And another thing to remember is what is the energy zone for one may not be the same for another. It is for me to realize where it exists in me. The bestseller The Secret has shown us that our body is able to cure itself of cancer, and that too within a short period. It may sound miraculous, but it is a miracle that we too can experience.

The energy zones that reside in me is something very unique to me; I can neither qualify it nor quantify it, because it is beyond my grasp. According to Kundalini yoga, there are energy zones in each of us, and that particular part is supposed to be somewhere near the forehead. We would not enter into a debate as to whether it is scientifically true or not; nor can we deny the ancient wisdom altogether. It would be a futile effort to spend our time and energy on the common energy zone in all of us. We may start with the assumption that this zone may vary from person to person, according to one’s own psyche, formation and upbringing. If it corresponds to each of our nature and behavioral pattern is another area we will look into at the end of the exercise.

Today I would like to take a few minutes to spend in silence. I will find a quiet place anywhere within my reach, in order to enter into inner silence. Surely exterior silence will help me to enter into interior stillness too. After sitting comfortably with my back straight, I will become conscious of my breathing… cool air entering into my nostrils, filling my diaphragm, and warm air coming out. Let me breathe in till my lungs are full, and breathe out slowly and steadily. Let me experience the chest heaving and falling back in place as I breathe in and out. Let it go on for a few minutes. Then let me go to each part of my body, starting from the head down to the toes, relaxing each of the tensed up part. I may tighten up that part and loosen it and experience the part relaxed. When I have covered all the parts, I will realize that my whole body is relaxed. Let me feel life energy flowing through each part of my body; if it helps, I may think of the energy flowing as if it were lightning rays… as it flows it also revitalizes each of the part. Let me remain in that state for a few minutes. This experience is sure to open the floodgates of energy within me, and make it accessible to me, whenever I am in need of it.