Art of Listening - Body

It is obvious that the person who does not listen to his/her inner self, cannot listen to nature and to other persons. The art of listening needs to start with us, and we need to go through the process of fine-tuning not only our sensibilities, but also our priorities. When a person begins to hear less due to old age, or due to any other ailment, the doctors may provide a hearing aid; but there is a process through which this person has to go through in order to make the best of the electronic device: first of all, the hearing aid has to be tuned according to the specific problem of the person. But that does not solve the problem; when the person starts to use the aid, he/she begins to hear all the noises, the wind, the fan; all the noises are amplified, including the sound of persons. And here begins the tedious and painstaking process of sorting out sounds from noises. That is what we need to undertake before we become good listeners.

After Windows became a household name in all offices, one of the catch-words that went rounds was 'multi-tasking'; that is to say, the computer can do several works simultaneously. You may be typing a letter, while the printer is printing yet another document, and song may be being played. It is only the human mind which is capable of multi-tasking. When we are reading, not all of us pay attention to what we read; while listening to another person, only part of our attention is given to the speaker, while the mind is elsewhere. This can create a lot of problem in getting the best out of our efforts. At least when we are with human persons, we may need to avoid multi-tasking, and give our full selves to the person, because persons deserve our full attention.

It is a problem, because it is not that easy to give our full attention to what we are busy with; our minds are too fickle, and we may find ourselves helpless before the mind. But it is not impossible to control our minds, in order to focus our attention to what we want to. That requires training, tuning, even fine-tuning. There is a need to sift the different sounds that reach our minds, taking the ones that need our concentration, and throwing out the unwanted noise. In communication process as proposed by Strauss, between the speaker and the receiver is there a medium, but over and above the medium is a noise, which is caused by the external circumstances, and this may distort the message that is being communicated. We need to reduce the noise, so that we don't need to strain ourselves to get the message.

We cannot remove the noise that the mind presents (the excuse often is that the world is full of different noises), unless we take a dip into our inner selves, and that journey can sometimes be arduous and painful. One may come to know certain bitter truths, which had been kept hidden for several years; some of the hidden motives and agenda may pop up during the process, and it may be quite embarrassing to the person concerned, to find a not-so healthy self. But every growth process is painful; it is only after pruning that a plant can grow larger, and bear more fruits. If we are afraid of the pain that is intrinsic in any growth process, then we may have stunted growth, and should be happy with partial reality that our senses present.

We can enter into our inner selves only through the body, the senses, feelings and emotions. Therefore we shall need to start with a deep awareness of our body, how it responds to different impulses, responses. I find a quiet place, where no one will disturb me for the next five to ten minutes. I take a comfortable pasture, so that I don't move my body parts during the next few minutes; close my eyes in order to gain better concentration. This is going to be an exercise on the body. I start from the head; how do I feel, feel its weight, feel the strains and tensions on the forehead; move to each of the body parts: from forehead to the eyes, eye brows, nose, lips, chin, ears... Let me move slowly becoming aware of the different parts of my body. I will not try to change them, but just become aware of them. During the day, I will try to repeat this exercise once or twice, in order to become conscious of my body. Slowly my body may open its gates, for me to enter into the inner self!

Art of Listening - Claims

There is strife and conflict all around, and at times one is afraid of venturing into public places for fear of any assault, not by aliens or enemies, but by those familiar men and women we thought were far too innocent to indulge in such ghastly acts of violence. Everyone on earth has a claim, and for every claim there is a counter-claim and it is a never ending vicious circle, which has no end. Caught between these claims and counter-claims are innocent men and women who are unaware of what is happening behind their backyards. We are too frightened to look through the windows, which we have to shut them and pull the curtains over. We create a world of our own and insulate ourselves from the outside world, because we feel safe and secure within the four walls.

Innocent though we are, we too have our claims – in whatever walk of life. As a parent I have certain claims over my children, as a neighbor I have claims over friends and neighbors and the wider society, the government and I have claims even from God. Similarly everyone I come in contact with has a counter claim over me. I should be lucky if my claims and my neighbors counter-claims match; woe to me and to the people I live with if my claims don’t match with their counter claims. In such a situation, it is quite normal and natural that I assert my own claim, irrespective of others’ counter claims. In arguments, two or more people talk simultaneously, and there is none to listen.

Emotionally charged words find the most loaded expression in such encounters.
If there are so much of problems in relationships, conflicts and strife among family members and friends, the main reason is not that each one is not genuine. We all of us are sincere people. Even the worst of culprits and hooligans are sincere about their intentions and motivations, and we need to appreciate it. But their intentions (call them claims) may not match with our notions and ideas (call them our counter-claims); the situation may become volatile, because there is no objective criteria to say that a claim is better than another. But there is an easy solution to this claim-counter claim riddle, and most often we may not even think that it is possible!

When we are emotionally charged, the doors of our hearts and minds get closed automatically, and then there is no way that the views and ideas of the other person can ever enter into our hearts. The words hit on the doors of the hearts and minds and bounce back. That is why there is greater noise when two emotionally charged persons argue. It is within our control to reverse the process and we will find that there is no major conflict between our claims, and our throats may be saved from yelling, so that we may sing some sweet melodies for our loved ones, our energy may be saved for more productive works, and our time may be utilized for growth oriented events in life. The magic mantra here is, Listen! Listen to my heart and mind (what comes from within), and listen to the other (what comes from without).

As a preparation for the graceful moments of listening, today I sit in a quiet place, where I can be sure that no one will disturb me for the next five to ten minutes, and close my eyes. As I close my eyes, I am able to hear a thousand voices deep within me, not the external sound and ambience, but the inner voices. It is possible that I am able to see many people, whom I have categorized as good and bad people; but during the next few minutes, my main preoccupation is to listen to them. But the process needs to start with the external sounds. If it is required, I may take enough time to identify the different sounds, and stay with them. I will gently move from one sound to another, without rushing through them. I will pay special attention to those faint sounds, those feeble voices, and let them enter into my senses. It will benefit me the most if I am able to enter into these sounds and become part of them; then I will know that I am unlocking the closed doors of my heart and mind!

Art of Listening - Intro

There are far too many people who embrace death voluntarily at a reasonably young age, because they find life intolerable and unmanageable. One of the main complaints we hear from death-notes is that they find hardly anyone who would listen to them.... This might sound a bit silly and even trivial for us, but for many who had decided to participate in the rat-race of the market forces at a relatively young age, this is an acute problem, which may lead them to decide on things which are irrevokable. There are not many people who would listen to them! How long would they keep talking to the four walls of their world, to cats and dogs whom they adore beyond all limits, and to their own self. They want someone who would respond to them, enter into their world even of hatred, vengence, jealosy, forbidden pleasures.

Today the world is in great demand for listeners, and it is from this great demand that the profession of counselling and psychiatric clinics have mushroomed in all developed societies. One has to pay about one hundred dollars or Euros to someone who would listen to them. The money is paid for listening to their sad stories. Such sessions may go on for months, until the person feels that there are people who dont mind listening to them. But it would be wrong to think that the world is in short of people who are ready to listen to others. We can think of our parents, especially our mothers, who would listen to every little non-sense and stupid things that we might be muttering, without questioning anything in return. One thing is true for her, not the content of what I say, but the fact of my trying to communicate something to her!

If one is prepared to listen to others, then it can become a way of life altogether, and that person may do more good to the society than several other so-called social workers. But what sort of listeners does the world look forward to? Surely not any kind of people who would like to make it a means of livelihood, like the counsellors and psychiatrists! There is a different kind of listeners, who not only listen to these people, but after listening to them attentively, would also mirror what and who they are in a way which is far from intimidating, or involving pre-judgment. These are unbiased, objective listeners who can build the broken reed, and build on the shattered dreams.

It is not impossible for us to become good listeners the world is in need of, and we do not require highly specialised degrees or scholarship to pay a listening ears to the people in need. The most important thing that we require is a mental disposition which looks at the people as they are, in the particular situations they are in, without expeccting what they should have been. In other words, these sincere listeners forget the past and begin with the present, and move towards future. It is not that the past is useless, but that it is not going to help the persons to return to their past. The past is given a decent burial, acknowledged with all the pleasure and pain it had brought. But the journey starts in the present.

To listen is an art, a wonderful and noble art, because this art is related to the heart of persons, individuals with a unique face and identity. We are about to embark on a short journey into the art of listening, to pick up the salient features that can truly make us effective listeners, who are pillars of our crumbling world; today as a cursory exercise, I would like to spend a few minutes in silence, trying to enter into my inner self; to listen to the different sounds and noises that I can hear, not only through my ears, but more through my heart and mind. Let me follow the course of these sounds, and remain with them, without ever trying to brand them as good or bad. Slowly let me become part of these sounds...!

Glorying in God

Watching tit-bits of the mega Oscar award function at Kodak Theater in California, especially the Indian fraternity, showing of all their assets, as if this is the end of the world, I got a feeling that it was time for us to cool down, and even play our trumpets a little softer. Who knows when the trumpet may start blaring and annoying the people around. But in the scene full of color and sound, one little phrase by the Mozart of Madras caught my attention. Before showering encomium on his mother, A. R. Rahman dedicated the twin Oscar awards to God, and ended his short speech with a phrase he said in Tamil, "ella pugazhum iraivanukke". I just couldn't believe that a man of that stature will say this, 'all glory to God'. To attribute such an achievement to God is no mean gesture, it was beyond my imagination.

Was it a publicity stunt, as the public figures are wont to do often? I realized that it was not, because his mother said something in the similar tone, attributing the success of her son to the work of God. It was amazing to see how these simple people see God, and find a secure place in Him/Her. Granted that is young musician had to discontinue his studies to make a living with his musical talents, he had nothing to complain, or curse his fate; nor did he make a speech saying if he had received enough support, he would have won the Oscar sever years ago! One of the greatest and most enduring virtues of Islam is submission to the will of God, and Rahman was hinting at it.

He sounded more religious than most religious do. There is a mad rush to acknowledging all achievements to individual efforts, toil and sweat, and seldom do we come across people who would give due credit to a force that is beyond human comprehension. In this world that is soaked in disbelief and questioning, we often would like to keep God as a matter of personal conviction, and would only hesitate to bring Him/Her to our public space. I would like to think of the moments during this day, when I had brought even the word God at any moment of my public life; yes, I did, but that was in acknowledgment to the belief of a gentleman who came to see me. Is it possible for me to take my (some would be hesitant to claim God with a personal pronoun; but can't I have anything personal with God?) God?

We the Jesuits have as our motto, something what Rahman has publicly proclaimed, and most of our institutions have the first letters of this Latin phrase carved on the walls, printed in block letters on the books and notebooks : AMDG (ad majorem dei gloriam - for the greater glory of God)! Each of us Jesuits are called to do exactly what Rahman had done on the Red Carpet at Kodak Theater - to attribute all our successes, achievements to God, who is instrumental in all our activities, even our very existence. I would not venture to assess if we are able to do it always, and unconditionally; that is beyond the scope of this little reflection; but one thing is for sure: in the initial stages of the Society, all made conscious effort to bow their heads with humility before God, for making use of them as His/Her instrument.

It is a common belief that God carries us along wherever He/She goes, and is present at every thick and thin of life; is it not right then that we too take him along to our offices, work places, to our markets, tea stalls, and malls? I may not be able to publicly announce that I owe everything I have and have achieved to God (because there are more than I can believe who are there to frown at me if I were to say that), but it is possible for me to pause for a moment during the day, and whisper in His/Her ears, Thank you, God! This little gesture may not make us saints, but can for sure make us human, who can bend the knees before the mighty powers of God. If I seek his glory and honor, then I will have very little to pull up my collars and blow my trumpet, so that everyone on earth hears it!

Slumdogs to Skylarks

At last, many of the Indians are on the first page of most of the world's newspapers, and this time, not for something disgusting or horrifying, but noble and beautiful. Eight Oscar awards to Slumdog Millionaire has shaken the nation from its slumber, to reveal to the world that India is more than a land of snake-charmers and of hunger and thirst, where industry has not grown... The world has known India for all the reasons what it should not have been. Living in Philippines, for instance, Indians are looked down upon as people who are shrewd (thanks to the Gujaratis, who have a flourishing money-lending business), and know how to extract the most from the locals, and for Pinays India does not exist, all they know is Mumbai, what I used to call 'national ignorance'.

The picture is somewhat different in Europe; since there is a huge African population, often the Indians are grouped together with the Black, partly due to affinity due to color. For the West, the dark or brown skin is not something detestable, but something that need to be kept at a distance. Can eight Oscar awards change the most often distorted view of the great nation of cultures and religions in the eyes of the world fraternity? This is one question that I keep asking, even as the debate goes on if the movie is an Indian or a British one! Whether we like it or not, India has been put on the Oscar map, and it is there to stay, even if the future years do not find adequate talent to match the present generation!

The story of the Slumdog may come as a surprise to other nations, but to the Indians this movie has exactly the same kind of formula, with which most of the Indian films are made. The triumph of the underdog is one theme that is eternal in this land, because that give relief to the audience, even if it is only momentary, and takes them away from the humdrum reality that most of our men and women are forced to live. But the story is something that is too good to be true, and I only hope that the dalits and the marginalised tribals don't make futile efforts to reach the state of Jamaal in the film. Reasonable risks can bring in good results, and this film is a proof to it.

One of the most memorable moments at the Kodak Studio in California was the presence of the tiny-tots who made an integral part of the film; the early Jamaal and Salim and Latika are too good to be true, and they probably don't realize that they are part of history, and after a decade or two, they can share with the next generations that India is no less than any other nation in the world. We may be believing strongly in age-old customs and traditions, we may be worshipping cows, we may deny women their due religious rights and privileges, we may still believe in ploughing our lands with bulls, and worship trees and shrubs, like Tulsi... we may be superstitious, but we have a civilization which can show the path to the world in the years to come.

I do not want to float in the clouds, thinking and owning the success of one movie, which tells an imaginary story, well told and portrayed though; reality is what we need to believe in, and embrace whole-heartedly. I would like to pause for a while and own the land that I am born in, and accept her as she is, without attempting to force her change according to my whims and fancies. I would like to embrace her as A. R. Rahman attributed his success to his mother, and attribute all that I am and capable of to what this wonderful land of mine has given me. I am part of the great civilization, I am part and parcel of this great nation of varied cultures and religions, and it is only proper that I salute her saying "Jai ho" (hail)!

Know your Strengths

As the financial year is nearing its close, accountants and treasurers are busy trying to wind up their transactions, sales and purchases. They cannot let things to spill over to the next year, which can only put them in trouble. At the end of the financial year, the most important document for the financial administrators is the balance sheet, otherwise called trial balance, wherein they would be able to find out their assets, liabilities, income and expenditure. The whole year in one page, and that is the proof of their financial management, how well or badly they had managed finance. There is hardly anything that they can hide here; it is the fact-sheet of their situation as far as finance is concerned. The income and expenditure, as a matter of fact, very much depend on two other factors, assets and liabilities.

I wish we take a trial balance at different junctures of our life, to become aware of the assets and liabilities. Why should we be concerned of the assets and liabilities? Our concern should be to increase the assets and reduce the liabilities, and only this can assure a better financial management. On the other hand, if the liabilities keep increasing and the assets start reducing, then there may come a time, when the institution may be forced to shut its doors. Income and expenditure should moderated on the basis of the assets and liabilities. It is a two way process: increase the assets and reduce liabilities. It is not enough to reduce liabilities, one should also attempt to increase assets, or else the institution may end up with nothing to live with, though they may not lose anything.

Today I would like to pause for a moment and take stock of my personal assets and liabilities; let me become conscious of them. At every important moment of my life, I decide on the basis of my assets and liabilities. It would be wrong to say that assets are good and liabilities are bad; these are two neutral realities. There are dangers that assets can become my death-knell, and liabilities sometimes may become my friend. The most important thing is that I keep before my eyes these two realities, so that I may discern properly before making any important decision. If I decide anything irrespective of my personal assets and liabilities, then I may have to regret later on. If need be, I should write and keep my assets and liabilities in a place where I make most of the decisions.

What do I mean by my personal assets? These are the things that I am really proud of; these are my good qualities, capabilities, talents, potentialities. For example, if I am aware that I have a potentiality to organize things and events, then when I get an opportunity I would not let it slip, but make use of it to reach out to others. On the other hand, if I am not good in singing, and decide to give lead in singing, then there would only be pandemonium. This is what is implied in one of the Indian proverbs, know the depth, before you put your foot forward in the river. It is possible you may not get an opportunity to pull out your legs after you mistakenly put your foot in deep waters.

Let me sit quietly today, in a place where I may not be disturbed by anyone for some ten minutes; let me take a dip into my inner self, feel myself as I fully am, with all my strengths and weaknesses. Let me go back in life to the earliest moment I can remember and move forward up to this very moment, taking note of the instances when I had shown signs of possessing great assets or liabilities. Let me pause there and assimilate it in such a way that it soars to my conscious self. It would be dangerous for me to embrace the assets and throw away the liabilities. I need to embrace both of them and grow in greater awareness that both of these can help me to live a meaning-full life.

Called to be Fully Human

One of the blessings of modern times is that we have become numb to all existential reality; our hearts have turned solid that it is hard to say it is made up of flesh and blood. Our sensitivity to human feelings and sentiments has gone awry, and what we are today is just a passing phenomena, which does not affect anyone whatsoever. Is it not this reality that we witness each day in our surroundings? It is not rarely that we come come across incidents when crowds had stood around a dying person, not one of them moving his/her finger to help the dying person. We all want to be safe, and do not want to soil our hands. We cannot think of running to the police station, after trying to save a person; we all want to say, it is none of my business.

I find it hard to accept that the modern men and women have forgotten to have a hearty laughter, a hearty meal, a enjoyable evening. The golden rays of the morning sun is too harsh for their sensitive eyes, that they have to protect their eyes with Ray-ban, or dark glasses. The soothing drops of the first rains are too hard for them to bear that they cannot think of getting drenched in the rain on purpose. Sometimes I would like to ask myself, when is the last time that I listened to the song of a bird, or gazed at the sky and counted the stars; or when is it that I chased the flight of a bird in the evening sky. When is it last that I fixed my eyes on the laughter of a new born child!

These are nature's great gifts to humanity, these are magical moments which can touch even the hardest of hearts. If we do not want to be touched by the Midas touch in nature, then what is life on earth worth? Our lives are so full of artificial, look-alike machines, which have replaced nature's role in our lives. Our contact with nature's world (natural world!) has become so minimal that we can be within the four walls of a room for days on end, without ever bothering to venture into the open fields to realize the vastness of the sky, and the music of the waters or birds.

Our lives have become so very artificial and monotonous that we do everything routine like, without even feeling, sensing. Our eyes have lost their vision, and today we don't see reality as it is, but see only what we want to see; our ears today hear only selectively, and our bodies feel the touch of only the persons we want to. The gruesome murder or the bloodshed of a neighbor does not make us to shed a tear or two; we stand like stones, without seeing, without hearing, without feeling, and maybe when we die, we may die like a stone. Humanity has become immune to pain and pleasure, and what sells today is artificiality. There is no scope for survival for real, and that is where human civilization has taken a U-turn.

I realize that I cannot be insensitive or immune to what is happening all around me. I want to be active and alive to the reality, of which I am an integral part of. I want to enter into the world I belong to, and give myself fully. I want to see the beauty around, I want to hear the music of the birds, or the insects, or the whistling of the breeze; i want to soothe my ears with the roaring of the ocean. I wish to feel the gentle breeze passing through by skin, I want to smell the soil after the first rain, smell the rains, smell the skin of my spouse. I pause for a while today, and close my eyes and reactivate all my senses. I would like to take time to be fully alive to the world that beckons me to be part of itself. Let me see myself transformed into the universe!

In Support of Wars

You might be surprised to see the title saying that I stand in support of war, and you may wonder what had prompted me to say that. It is true no sensible human person can ever advocate war. I am reminded of the 84 year old Benjamin from Xavier University in Cincinnati, who holds an anti-war theory, inviting the people around to fight against the war system. Paradoxically here is a man who is warring against war system, and I cannot help but take my hats off for this man, who is fired with so much zeal that he talks about it at every time he gets an opportunity. But what sort of wars do I recommend: is it the kind between the nations we hear on newspapers each day morning? Of course not. I am in support of war against all that dehumanizes human persons, robs them of their basic human dignity!

I wish nations will take into account their needs and how their needs deprive someone outside. There is no limit to the greed of people in the Western nations, and they would go all the way to fill their stomachs, even when they know that there are millions of hungry stomachs, crouching in their beds night after night. I wish the developing nations will war against the multi-national companies, who enter sheepishly into the poorer nations, to rob their wealth by introducing consumables not needed for them, thus creating an artificial need in them, through their surreptitious ad campaigns. There are very few wealthy nations who have avowed to eradicate poverty in the other half of the globe.!

It is time that the world rises to understand the importance of war, but not with weapons, artillery, guns and rockets. Here is a call for a bloodless war, where the aim is not to destroy but to build (yes, to destroy human greed and avarice, self-centredness and jealousy). Here is a call to put together what centuries of neglect, hatred and vengeance has caused to humanity beyond shores. Time is running short, and it is time that we put together all our strength to wage war against nations and state which believe in survival of the fittest and the fastest. Every one of us has the responsibility in rebuilding the world through war against the enemies of human family.!

Often I am shocked to see the evil, whose tentacles spread far and wide each day, drawing to its vicious circles all those who are weak and wish for soft solutions for hard problems. Corruption at different levels of governance and social living has made honest men and women aliens in this world, and have even branded them as misfits in this beautiful world. Is the world not losing fast the breed of honest and sincere men and women? Is there anyone to war against this kind of epidemic spreading to all corners of the world? This is one lesson I have to learn today : if I am not part of the solution, then I am surely part of the problem. If I don't raise my voice against injustice today, I am part of the perpetrators of injustice in this world.!

I am fully conscious of my own limitations and capacities; what I can and what I cannot, even if I desire so much. But there are things which do not require much from me, but my mind and heart. If only we war against our minds and hearts which are becoming narrower each year, then there is a hope that some day we may find peace returning to the earth. Today I would like to pause for a while, and go through the day slowly and reflectively, and pick up one or two moments, where I needed to war against. It is possible that I was quiet when I should have raised my voice, or I raised my voice, when I should have been quiet. It is often within my power and control to reverse many of the evils that plague our society. If only I want. Is it not necessary that we continue to war till the world is transformed into a garden of Eden, and regain her pristine glory she enjoyed millennia ago.

Mutual Giving

I have great regards and admiration for the people who want to make the most of the years at their disposal. Quality living is a big question mark, when the world battles with all odds to gain a few more years added to our life span. But we need to ask ourselves, is adding a few more years with the help of artificial means going to help us realize the worth of this life? Are we not in many ways the replica of Christopher Marlowe's Doctor Faustus, who floundered his whole life in acquiring all known knowledge, and was on his knees before Satan, pleading for a few more years, months, weeks, days, hours or minutes. If Doctor Faustus failed to receive reprieve, so it may happen in our case too.

To make hay while the sun shines, is not merely a proverb that has no relevance to our times. A few days ago, a friend of mine brought this point to my attention when she said, we can't afford to be bogged down by trivialities, but will have to look beyond the horizon, to make the best of our situations and times. Our life span is carved into our hearts, and there is no physical mechanism to stop aging. It is said that only in the case of film stars, age does not catch up with them (or at least that is what they think!). A journalist has asked an actress, you said you were nineteen two years ago, and say the same even after two years! She smiles, I am not the kind of person who changes her words!

Fortunately most of us are quite aware of our own limitations, and do not expect to achieve the impossible, and our expectations from life are quite reasonable. On an average, we are capable of giving only about half of our life span for quality work - real contribution to the world. Is it possible for us to carve a niche for ourselves in the annals of world history? Or is it really necessary for each one of us to leave behind a legacy that the world will care to safeguard? Legacies are formed on the basis of what we want to give to the world, rather than robbing from the world's treasuries things that will benefit only me and my concerns.

Often I am reminded of what is often quoted, even out of context, from one of the sayings of Abraham Lincoln, Ask not what the nation has done for you, but ask what you have done for the nation. The same quote could be rephrased as, ask not what the world/life has offered to you, but ask what you have offered to the world. In fact, the world heritage that we cherish today is the fruit of the labor of several thousands of men and women, who had given freely what they had so that the future generations may have happiness in full. But the beauty of life is that if returns to the giver manifold of what is given, and one is filled beyond all limits. We are called to this mutual sharing of what we are and what we have.

Today I would like to pause for a while and consider what I have given to the world from the moment I was up from bed. Let me enlist all that I have done which could benefit the world; it may be a hug to my spouse, a kiss to my child, a smile to my neighbor, a kind gesture to the aging parents, a kind word to an ailing relative, a sympathetic look at the beggar on the road. In other words, there are much more important things in life, which I can offer to the world than my money and riches. Perhaps it is easy for me to throw a few coins to a beggar, and may cost me a lot to stand and look at him sympathetically, even when I have nothing to offer. If I begin to give without counting the cost, then I will know that I am going to receive in turn manifold riches, that can fill the whole world!

Flowing with Time

At first I couldn't understand what she was saying; it took me a minute or two to really understand. She had been on the move in the city doing a lot of purchase all through the day, and was quite tired at the end of the day. But she was determined to finish the accounts before she went to bed. It might take a couple of hours for her to tally the figures, but would go to sleep only after seeing it through. At first she said, who knows if I will be alive tomorrow morning or not! If I don't, then it would create a lot of problem for others, she said laughing. Planning to do the accounts on the next day morning cannot amount to procrastination, but there was something beautiful in what she said later.

Why should I unnecessarily postpone the things that I can finish today, because tomorrow would come with its own share of toils and troubles. If I don't finish the troubles of this day, then the next day I will have to complete the works of the previous day, and may be forced to put off the day's work to the next day. In the process, the workload may keep accumulating, and there may come a time when it is beyond my capacity to wind up with all my responsibilities, and then may start the blame-game.

This is an ancient wisdom, which states, let me not postpone the things which I can do today. The secret power of the "now" is intrinsically embedded in this notion of going with the flow of the current, so that I am not stuck with unnecessary worries. But sadly, it is not at all easy for us to flow with our share of duties, commitments and responsibilities. It is because, the time that is at our disposal may seem like an endless ocean. We imagine that we are going to live for ever and ever. There is a simple way how we can train our minds to flow with the current of the day.

Let me take a sheet of paper, and write on the top, My Life Span! I will write the figure that comes to my mind, as the number of years I will live in this world. It may be 75 or 84 or even 96. Don't think too much, just put the number that first pops up in your mind. This is just a subjective figure for us to work on our life-cycle. Now let me deduct my present age. That means, I have still so many years to live. Does the years look too long, too many? Now multiply the number of years by 365; this gives the number of days I will live. If the remaining years of my life is 52, then I have 52 x 365 days to live. Let me further convert the days into hours: 52 x 365 x 24. It is here I begin to see the value of each passing hour. I may realize then that I cannot afford to waste even a single hour.

Today I would like to pause for a while and look at this day, from the moment when I first opened my eyes from sleep; it will benefit me, if I were to make a log of what I had done, minute by minute. I may be surprised to note that I had whiled away a lot of time, and have even wasted. Fortunately I don't need to pay for the time I spend, and therefore do not realize the cost of it all. If I were to do this exercise at the end of the day, then I may be able to realize that I had waste more than a few hours in useless things. Anything that is not helping me live a fuller life can be counted as a waste of time. If I do this exercise for a few days continuously, then probably I may become more conscious of the preciousness of the present, and may use it judiciously. It is then I may realize that my life span has doubled or tripled already!

Life's Cruel Laughter!

I did not think that Motiur would call me up; he was the employee of the office I had managed for about a year some years ago, and I had built such a rapport with the staff that many shared with me their personal stories. His call came out of the blue and I was for a moment wondering what favor he was going to ask me. I thought it was a courtesy call just to keep tap of the people who have some say in his job, and that is what he too mentioned that he just wanted to keep in touch with me, though i hardly visit his office. But what he said surprised me on several fronts. He is a young Muslim, who is struggling alone both within and without. In the office, he finds himself helpless like all the others, but now has decided to show that being helpless is not going to help anyone, and has volunteered to be the public relations officer to tie the loose ends.

I had a lot of regards for this young man, who had a flair for writing lyrics, and in one of the modern Bengali songs album that i coordinated to produce, he contributed lyrics for four songs, with my ideas given flesh and blood. He was happy to get an opportunity to explore this field of lyricism and was happy about it. He was a creative person who did not want to waste his life in useless, worthless thinking and talk. But the circumstances did not much favor him, and he was often downcast because he would think one and something else would happen to him, and so he would be chased from pillar to post often. He did not want to get married, because he thought to feed another mouth, and yet another in the later years, might become a herculean task for him, but he could not avoid compulsion from the family.

But while talking to me, he said that he was trying to accept all that life offers him with open heart; including the fact that his wife had ran away from the house they were living in with their daughter, threatening to commit suicide by jumping from the train. I could not believe this would happen to him. The issue is silly though. He wanted to repair the small house, where he had been a tenant for several years, and at the death of the owner has come to own the house. He took his benefits from the Provident Fund and decided to repair the house; but his wife wished him to get a refrigerator and a micro-oven. He could not compromise, and that resulted in his wife running away.

Just one of his phrases caught my attention - that was the cruel laughter of fate! He does not believe in fate, but sometimes could not help but console himself that what is destined for him would happen, whether he likes it or not. Life is cruel, often it is so. What can we do when bad things happen to good people? Or when good things happen to bad people? Is there any place where we can complain and get justice? Unfortunately it is the same story with each one of us. In my mother tongue, there is a proverb which says, there is a door-step to every house; each of us have our own stories of confronting the bitter realities of life. It gets filled with riddles for which we have no clue, not to talk about the solution. We find ourselves going in circles!

Today I would like to pause for a while and think of the hundreds of Motiurs I come in touch with each day; I would like to look at their faces, and read the stories that their faces betray. I will not have any answer to them, may not even a sympathetic word, or a pat of approval. In such circumstances, even my silent presence with them can be a great source of consolation. If they are able to get a feeling that in this battle with life, they are not alone, then they will get enough strength and courage to face the tempests that may sweep through their lives. Often I find myself in situations, where I am just helpless, and cannot look up for help from any known quarters. Let me in those moments look up to the endless skies and feel the millions of stars giving me company, whispering in my ears that they too had not much option than be what they are!