Mother and Molester

Of all the Hindu deities, the one to whom I have a special love and admiration is Kali, whose festival we celebrated yesterday. Perhaps it is only in West Bengal that Kali is revered and worshiped as a Mother, following the example of Sri Ramkrishna Paramahamsa and Ramprasad Sen, both of whom had popularized devotion to her. They had “domesticated” the ferocious goddess into a Mother, and the songs of Ramprasad, known as Prasadika, depict the tender love that a devotee has for her, and at times the relationship goes to such an extent that the poet-singer even teases the Mother, asking her to get dressed!

Some years ago I had come across some feminist movements who had found in Kali an embodiment of freedom of the feminine; she dared to do something that our women can never think of; to oppose the evil-minded demon Raktabija, she did not hesitate to drink every drop of blood that came out of the demon, so that the drops did not clone into demons, to fight against the angry face of goddess Durga, which rose as Kali. The sacred text of Devi Mahatmyam has the myths associated with Kali, who can be considered a champion of injustice, and evil forces in society. We celebrate the power of the feminine, which gives life to the world even today.

But let me share an insight from Ramprasad’s songs on Shyama, another name for Kali. He had found in her the embodiment of all his desires and wishes, and therefore he takes liberty to pour out his heart to her. Many of his songs also deal with the plight of the powerless, voiceless and exploited masses, who could take shelter only in the protective arms of the mother. He also presents the kind of world these people live, groping in darkness. She is their only source of consolation, their advocate, their spokesperson. It is time that we wake up the Mothers in our society, who would stand up to speak for the voiceless.

During the last week, I had come across a wide range of feminine figures, who represented different categories of people. I dare not name them, but some of them, and their actions have disturbed me. Sometimes the feminine power and privilege is misused in order to carve a niche for themselves, while stamping on the persons they love. Kali stands on the body of her husband Shiva, who had thrown himself under her feet, in order to stop her rampage, killing all the people she found after winning over Raktabija, and garlanding their skulls. I think of several men, some of them at least innocent, who are mere victims of the ferociousness of women, which may go overboard.

Women have immense potentiality, and no wonder then Kali is often referred to as Shakti, and tantrism is often a means of entering into the limitless power of divine. But this power and potentiality can also be used to subdue the innocent and guileless, and thus create chaos and disorder in life, which is what Kali is often associated with, along with her consort Shiva. Her disheveled hair, reddish tongue dripping blood, almost naked body, are symbolic of the chaos she could cause. The world is in need of the limitless feminine potentiality to charge the world, and overthrow the evil forces, but the same power is also required to give safe haven to the innocent, the last, the least and the lost!

Lighting my Little Lamp

Today is Diwali, the festival of light, and there is an array of colorful lights all around. Most of the houses around have been lit with light of different colors and shapes. It is so wonderful to see the display of light, it is sheer pleasure to behold light. I look at the convent, facing our corridor near the main road, a series of lights (diya) have been lit, and it was a beautiful sight. Women are known for decorating houses on this day, with light. I had known that it is a wonderful day to light candles at least on the corridor near the main road, and brighten up the space, and luckily I found an old packet of tiny candles in one of our cupboards, and made use of them to light up the corridor.

The candles were too tiny to last even ten minutes, I thought, and after lighting some 20 candles, I went for my customary walk; when I returned after about 30 minutes, I could see the light at the corridor, and there were some candles which were still burning. It was a beautiful sight to see a line of candles burning. I hurried to light up some more candles which were left earlier, and I wonder if the corridor had ever seen such candle light soothing its space in all the years of its existence. There is nothing that equals the soothing light of candles or of diyas (earthen lamps). I was happy that I could light up my own little lamp during the ‘festival of light’.

When I first thought of lighting up the corridor today, the line which was flashing in my mind often today was from Rabindranath Tagore, in his poem ‘There are numerous strings in your lute’: “Amidst your numberless stars, Let me place my own little lamp!” There is light all around, and it is not necessary for me to add to the already existing light; however my “little lamps” are sure to add yet another dimension to the light! However small these candles be, they add something new to the world around me, and that is my joy! Often I have the tendency to take for granted: there is already so much light, why take the trouble to light my little lamps!

Looking at the world around, there is always a tendency in me and in others to keep away from what makes the world noble, beautiful and colorful. Why should I take the trouble to do my little part, while it is too tiny, in comparison to what others contribute? Little drops make an ocean, is true, and it takes a little effort on my part to add that little drop; if the world is still worth living and beautiful, I should acknowledge the millions of little drops contributed by millions of people down the years, and several other millions still contributing each and every moment. Then why should I hesitate to light my own little lamps?

If everyone lights up his/her house, the whole locality is sure to be beautifully lit, and that is exactly what the festival of light invites all of us to: to light my little lamp, and I can expect the world to be bright and beautiful. However if I fail to light my little lamps, then I will have no right to blame the world for being dark and damp. It takes very little effort to light my courtyard or corridor, and I don’t need to light up others’ houses; looking at me, probably others may also be inspired to light up their homes, just as I was inspired to light up our corridor after looking at the neatly lit convent! And what a joy it is to celebrate light, which is another name for LIFE!

Nursing Parents’ Wounds

It is quite disheartening to even imagine that parents after about twenty years of blissful marital life could think of separation; whatever be the cause of family discord, it is hard to think of a situation where the couple feel quite incompatible, even after the two girl children, both of them quite grown up. At a time when the elder daughter is old enough to become a mother herself, it is next to impossible for her to think that her parents were contemplating seriously about separation, and she herself would do anything to stop that happening, but then she feels that she is helpless, at least in this situation.

Which child would think of his or her parents being separated; the modern world has seen many such cases, where the children are asked by the court to choose with which parent he/she would like to live, but as everyone is aware it is not possible to make a decision, that a child would live with the father or the mother. A child’s heart is too tender and soft to be torn apart by two parties. Granted that the two girls are grown up, that is not the reason for the parents to think of separation, and it is doubtful if the couple had exhausted all the possibilities of keeping the light of their marital bliss alive and blazing.

Parents are expected to nurse the wounds of their growing children, to stand by their side when the storms of life shake them from the root, but here is a situation where the children are called in to nurse the wounds of the parents, and the children just beginning to see the true color of the world are forced to witness yet another harsh reality of life, and they could hardly accept which looms before them. But would the parents who had been having stormy sessions on regular intervals down the years, think of giving another chance to the spouse to amend and get the family ties going? If the personal peace and happiness is what matters most to the couple, then it would have been better if they had not married at all!

For the elder daughter, who had offered her life to the Lord, it is more than her share of suffering the Lord had given to her, and every time she remembered the situation back at home, her eyes are filled with tears, but is it possible to leave behind the family, parents and the relationships and concentrate on her own personal call! As an individual who had grown nourishing the love and care of the parents, she feels she cannot afford to let this thing happen to her parents, but she is also aware of the crude reality, which reminds her, what if they do not care to listen to her plea! She would not have any one to appeal to!

It is not that my parents have peaceful life after about 45 years of their marriage; they have their own share of misunderstanding, quarrels, but I know one thing for sure, they could never think of separation, and even if they fight, we know for sure they would be back to talking terms after a couple of days. But times are changing, and if married persons were to think only of their personal freedom, happiness and peace of mind, then the family is bound to go to pieces and it would be impossible for anyone to save the situation. It is only God who can intervene to stop the couple breaking away, because their breaking is sure to affect the lives of the children too, and that is the reason why the daughters have begun to storm the heaven with their prayers.

Ignatian Insights 10: Desolation

Opposite of consolation is desolation, and is yet another important term developed by Inigo on the basis of his own spiritual experiences. The first time that Inigo mentions ‘desolation’ in the Spiritual Exercises is in No. 13, “to act against the desolation and overcome the temptations, the exercitant ought to remain always a little longer than the full hour…” But for an explanation of what he means by this term, we need to move to the Discernment of Spirits for Week I. After explaining consolation, Inigo explains desolation: “By this kind of desolation I mean everything which is the contrary of whatever described in the Third Rule; for example, obtuseness of soul, turmoil within it, an impulsive motion toward low and earthly things, or disgust from various agitations and temptations” (317:1-2).

This is a spiritual experience, which can be likened to the “dark night of the soul” of some of the saints of our times, such as St Theresa of Avila, St John of the Cross, and even Blessed Teresa of Kolkata. Here one experiences the lack of the evangelical virtues of hope, faith and charity, and one feels listless, tepid, unhappy and separated from God (317:3). If this is the painful moment one goes through, Inigo observes that the person should not make a change, but should remain firm and constant in the resolutions and decisions made before the desolation (318:1). There is yet another thing that we should do at the time of desolation: “by insisting on prayer, meditation, earnest self-examination, and some suitable way of doing penance” (319).

Though at the time of desolation we may feel quite low and feel the Lord has withdrawn his abundant fervour, love and grace, and yet he supplies his grace for our salvation. In other words, during this time, one may feel the absence of the Lord, but it is not the absence in reality, but merely a feeling of the absence of the Lord; that is to say, one’s inner eyes are blinded during this time, and one is not able to see the Lord. Therefore Inigo invites us to persevere in patience, and this way one may be able to counterattack against the vexations experienced. And one can be sure that soon consolation will return, and one may experience the nearness of God and the increase of hope, faith and charity (321).

In no. 322, Inigo presents three chief causes of desolation: first, we ourselves are tepid, lazy or negligent in our spiritual exercises and therefore consolation leaves; second, it is meant to test how much we will be able to align ourselves with God and his service even in the apparent absence of his presence, and third, to recognize and understand that all expressions of consolation, namely great devotion, intense love, tears are a gift and grace from God, and reminding us not to indulge in vainglory that we merited the spiritual consolation.

We could ask ourselves, what the notion of desolation reminds us of, and why it is important for us to be aware of this. First, every person who is seriously concerned about his/her spiritual well-being will be confronted by desolation at some time or other, and we should be prepared to face it when it comes. Second, Inigo presents some simple ways of responding to desolation, which may come handy to us. Third, Inigo reminds us that desolation is not the time to lose all hope of finding God, and the peace and tranquillity which flow from Him, but to remain steadfast and wait patiently for consolation. Fourth, he reminds us that often we ourselves may cause desolation, and therefore warns us not to give scope to them.

Ignatian Insights 9: Indifference

The English word ‘indifference’ perhaps does not adequately express what Inigo meant by the word, and therefore it demands an explanation. This principle is so central to Inigo’s understanding of the spiritual journey of a person, without perfecting this ‘indifference’, it would be impossible to excel in spiritual virtues. It is so central that Inigo introduces this notion already in the Principle and Foundation (no. 23) of the Spiritual Exercises. This is considered a basic attitude demanded of a person who sincerely seeks to achieve his own salvation and that of his neighbour.

Let us consider what Inigo means by ‘indifference’ in the Spiritual Exercises: “To attain this [goal for which I am created], it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things, in regard to everything which is left to our free will and is not forbidden” (23:5). George E. Ganss explains what Inigo implies by ‘indifference’ – “undetermined to one thing or option rather than another; impartial, unbiased; without decision suspended until the reasons for a wise choice are learned; still undecided”. This implies interior freedom from disordered affections. We would do great injustice to Inigo if we take this word to mean unconcerned about the issue, which is what the word may mean to an ordinary person.

Indifference as observed by Inigo is a noble and spiritual value, and is not easy to attain, unless we are able to free ourselves from the personal bias, prejudices and lopsided attachments. Only the people who are ready to start the spiritual journey from the starting point, without already having a ready-made route map will be able to choose the best means to reach the destination, and the best way which is sure to reach him. Any attempt to start the journey with a pre-conceived route map and the possible means, it would automatically exclude all other means some of which may be more expedient and favourable to reach the destination. But the problematic area is to free the mind and heart from any pre-fabricated route maps, and start from ground zero.

This notion of spiritual indifference, if we may call this so, is so very dear to other religious traditions too. In the Bhagavad Gita, while talking about the kind of people who are dear to Him, Lord Krishna tells his disciple Arjuna that those who are neither cold or hot, neither moved by joys or sorrows, those who are not affected by praise or accusations, such are the people who are dear to Him. In other words, those who are controlled by the human choices, which can be erroneous often, and those swayed by the movements of the mind, they would not be able to focus their attention on the Lord, or His words.

Inigo invites us to embark on our spiritual journey, without choosing the route map of our own making, the fruit of our own whims and fancies, and are invited to leave behind our extra sandals, tunic and purse, because these are the very things Jesus told his disciples to leave behind, when he sent them on their first missionary enterprise. It is only then that we will be able to feel the providential care of God, who alone knows best what we are in need of, and which means can best serve us. Indifference does not mean unconcernedness, but even moves close to the more difficult and challenging option, and if only we taste what this means in our spiritual life, we will begin to make it part of our spiritual costume to protect ourselves from onslaught by the world.

Ignatian Insights 8: Tantum Quantum

Several means may be employed in order to achieve a particular goal, and we may not rate the means equally. Some of the means may be superior to others, and some others easy and practical. If we are to be stuck by the means while assessing them, then we may miss the bus; our aim is to discern the most suitable means which will take us to the fulfillment of the goal. Here I cannot hold on to any of the means, but should strive to be "indifferent" to the available means. Connected to the notion of 'indifference' is the important idea of tantum quantum, which is one of the central themes of the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises (no. 23). He insists that I should be prepared to accept only the means which would take me to the goal.

Human as we are, there are several biases, prejudices and pre-conceived notions which control the selection of the means to reach the goal. We may be attached to certain means, which, instead of taking us to the goal, may only distract and distance us. Here what is more important is the conviction as to what I really want. If I would like to have an experience of the forest, I should not be lost in the details of a particular tree. But if the means become my primary concern, then it is an indication I am not giving sufficient importance to the goal. I may come to know more about that particular tree, but may not know anything about the forest. Sri Ramkrishna used to say, there are as many ways as there are opinions.

It is only through an impartial adn even indifferent sifting and consideration of the means which can take me to the goal. It is only when I am prepared to take only the means which will take me to the end, that I will be focusing on the goal, instead of the means. The means cannot occupy my central focus, but the goal should. Here Inigo presents the golden rule of tantum quantum, meaning I should make use of the means only in as much as they take me to the goal I am aiming at. If they take me to the goal, I shall use them, and if they do not, then I shall not use them. However I should remember that all the means should be just adn rightful.

It is from this understanding that Inigo proceeds to state that I should be open to make use of whichever means that will help me, and therefore I shall not favour one to another. Therefore I shall seek one means to another, but keeping myself 'indifferent' to the means. It is possible that I might think a particular means may take me to the goal, but after some time I may realize that it was taking me another direction. Thus long life or short life, riches or poverty, sickness or health, we should be open to whichever means that is useful to us.

It may be difficult for us to choose the right means if we are not free from 'inordinate attachments', which may bind us. For instance, if I am attached to long life, I may revolt with God, when I am to glorify him thorugh my short life. Similarly if God invites me to bear witness to him through poverty, when I am attached to riches, I might struggle to stomach the challenge God may present to me. If only we begin to make use of this golden rule of Inigo, to select the means to rach a particular goal, then we will have more things to thank and praise God!

Ignatian Insights 7: Consolation

Inigo was in touch with what was happening to himself, from the time of his convalescence at the castle of Loyola, after he was wounded at the battle of Pompalona. He could recognize two kinds of movements as he dreamed of the lady of high position, whom he desired to marry, and as he reflected about the life of Christ and of saints. In his ‘autobiography’ he states that some thoughts left him dry, while some others left him happy and peaceful. He was already sifting the movements of his heart, and that would become the foundation of his understanding on the movements of the spirit. But for now we shall concentrate on his understanding on consolation, the movement of the spirit which led him to inner peace and joy.

He goes on to explain this concept when he deals with Discernment of Spirits for Week I. The way he had given the title for this chapter in the Spiritual Exercises is quite interesting. He writes, ‘Rules to aid us toward perceiving and then understanding at least to some extent, the various motions which are caused in the soul: the good motions that they may be received, and the bad that they may be rejected’. The numbers that deal with consolation are 316, 323-24. First let us understand what he means by consolation.

By this kind of consolation I mean that which occurs when some interior motion is caused within the soul through which it comes to be inflamed with love of its Creator and Lord. As a result it can love no created thing on the face of the earth in itself, but only in the Creator of them all (SpEx 316:1). It is important that we realize that consolation is an “interior motion” and therefore it cannot be associated with external experiences, and the result is the soul being inflamed with the love of God, leading to love him alone! It is a spiritual experience, which cannot be roused by ourselves. God is the origin of all consolation.

Inigo observes yet one more vital aspect to mean consolation : “every increase in hope, faith and charity, and every interior joy which calls and attracts one toward heavenly things and to the salvation of one’s soul, by bringing it tranquillity and peace in its Creator and Lord” (SpEx 316:4). Therefore when we experience an increase in the evangelical virtues of faith, hope and charity, we know that we are experiencing consolation, and the fruit of this experience will be evident in the interior joy, attraction towards heavenly things, tranquillity and peace. It is not that only spiritual persons experience consolation; at some time or other every one of us go through this kind of experience, though we may not realize that this is consolation.

Every consolation may lead us to desolation, and therefore while experiencing consolation, one should prepare to face desolation (SpEx 323), and one should conduct oneself humbly (324). It is a wonderful feeling to experience consolation, but one should not forget that there is no perpetual consolation; everyone has to go through dark nights of the soul, desolation in the terminology of Inigo. He goes on to show the origin of consolation: without a preceding cause (SpEx 330), by means of a preceding cause acting for the progress of the soul (SpEx 331). Therefore Inigo invites us to examine if the consolation actually proceeds from God, or if it actually comes from the evil one.