Lenten Triduum… Journey inwards!

It is long since I had spent three full days during the season of Lent to be with the suffering Lord and the suffering humanity. The one thing that takes priority during this season over everything, particularly the spiritual aspects, is the exterior practices, penance and reparation for the past sins. Most often I forget the reason why I do all these penance and sacrifices; it is surely not the time for slimming, as some think it to be, or time for dieting, or time for putting a little control over one’s eating habits. Even the fast and skipping of meals often remain at the level of external practices which do not touch the heart, the core of my being. This year I propose to spend three days on an inward journey, into the core of my being, where alone can I encounter the suffering Lord and the suffering humanity!

Three days are not such a long duration in comparison to my life-time and I can afford to take the 72 hours away from my daily schedule (though I often claim to be too busy for some of the courtesy calls and appearances, many a times I catch myself aimlessly moving from one meaningless activity to another!), and be by myself. The world is not going to miss me much during these 72 hours, which I consider are going to be privileged moments to enter into my self! It is not that I have not ventured into such journeys before, but most often such journeys were interrupted by worldly preoccupations, and I would return to my humdrum reality from half way. Thus I hope and pray I survive the full three days alone with me!

Did I say alone with me? But I am never alone; I am a composite of the body, mind and spirit, and at any given moment I am controlled by these thridev (trinity). I had very seldom given time to enter into the three koshas (layers) of my self. Indian philosophy would detail several koshas, ultimately ending with anandamaya kosha, the blissful layer, and that is what I am hoping to embark upon during these three days, to ultimately seek and find ananda, the perfect bliss! It is God alone who is bliss, and that is why we dare to call him/her anandamayi! The ever joyous, blissful! What a wonderful name is this for God! How wonderful would it be if all of us on earth are as blissful as God is!

Let me place certain assumptions before I jump into the deep waters; am I sure that I am going to enter into deep waters? How deep is it going to be? For a person whose head is immersed into water, it really does not matter if the water level is seven feet high or 20 feet high; the fear and panic one experiences is the same in both the levels. How far I would be able to hold myself is left to each one? From my side, I need to become conscious of where I am? Am I still at the shore, untouched by the living waters that flow from the Lord’s presence, or am I well into the deep? Or am I able to feel the waters slowly rise (it is the Lord’s doing), or that I am moving into deeper waters (it is my Spirit’s doing)? Let me close my eyes and feel the waters?

As a preparation for this three days of inward journey, it is a wonderful thing to enter into the presence of the Lord purifying ourselves. The tribals of India would always begin any religious celebration with the first day dedicated to purificatory rituals, so that their bodies, minds and spirits are free from any sort of impurity which may prevent the Lord entering into our midst. I would like to invoke the Spirit of the Living God to let the living streams flow over me, and purify me of all that would prevent me from recognizing his presence, seeing me with my inner eyes, and holding on to him as my greatest treasure! Let me repeat the mantra on the eve of my journey, as many times as I can: Spirit of the Living God, let your streams flow over and cleanse me!

Today is the Day (Lent 4)

One of the greatest evils that many a good and virtuous men and women easily fall prey to is procrastination. With all good intentions, these men and women begin to postpone the good work they have thought of and planned for. But by the time they get into action, much of the efficacy of the action is lost, and the work remains just a meaningless action. We have also heard about jurisprudence, that justice delayed is justice denied. We love to wait for opportune moments to embark upon our ambitious plans and projects, and quite often we are surprised to note that the delay often costs us a lot.

We human beings care notoriously known for delaying good actions, and that is why it is said that we should do good works at the very moment we conceive them. There are things which cannot be waited. We should use our conscience to get going, and the season of lent is a reminder which tells us, we cannot wait for too long. The story of Doctor Faustus (based on the medieval play by Christopher Marlowe) is a bitter reminder for all of us to realize that if we wait too long, we would lose the battle; even our bitter appeals to the devil for a minute, or a few seconds would be in vain.

In the Old Testament, we hear God giving ultimatum to the people of Israel to return to him; the people of Nineveh had 40 days to repent and return to the Lord; but if the people were to wait for 35 days to get over and they would do the needful on the last five days, it might be too late for them. But in our case, we do not know how many days we have been given; who knows before our conversion, our time may run late. And hence the urgency that the season of Lent comes with is real and we cannot take it lightly. Today is the favorable time, says prophet Joel, and are we listening to him?

Lent is a season which calls for concrete action; we cannot write pages after pages of resolutions which we would consider putting into practice after the Lent. However noble a resolution be, if it cannot be put into concrete action, then in vain is it. After listening to the cries of our neighbors with empathy, we are called to plunge into action immediately, and here each one will have to estimate what he/she is called to, without comparing one with the other. This action alone can lift the brother and sister who is steeped in pain and sorrow and provide the much needed solace and comfort.

Lent is not a season of high and noble ideals, but is a season of concrete action, where the body, mind and spirit jointly embark upon acts which can benefit humanity at large. When my action and sincere efforts are targeted at my neighbor with utmost empathy can bring down the blessings of God and of the whole of creation. It is also an invitation to live in the eternal present, in com-union with the God of Now, because it is only in the present moment that we can truly encounter God! The action can proceed only when we have listened to the cries of our brothers and sisters with hearts, with empathetic sentiments! This action will again take us to deeper listening and the cycle will go on endlessly, taking us into deeper realization of God's presence in our midst!

Nurturing the Neighbor (Lent 3)

Lent is a beautiful occasion for us to ask ourselves, who is my neighbor! Actually the question that is often on the tip of our lips is nothing new; there are thousands of seekers ahead of us, who have asked the same question, and some 2000 years ago, Jesus had already answered this question with a story, the parable of the Good Samaritan! Here in this story we shall find the elements of the previous two notions, of listening to one’s inner spirit, expressing unconditional empathy, and it leads to yet another level of making the other person as an extension of oneself. The good Samaritan does not see a stranger on the road, but a reflection of himself, part of his own Being. He could not help but reach out to him with spontaneous willingness to suffer.

If there is so much of division, conflict, violence and bloodshed in the world, the most important reason why these things happen is because we have not known who is the other! We are used to looking at the other as someone outside of me! Martin Buber made popular the notion of ‘we’ and ‘they’ and we have cleverly managed to look at ourselves as different from the others. Linguistic groups, religious sects, ethnic communities, thrive because they convince the masses that “we” are different from “they”, and that they cannot sacrifice their group identity at the expense of the other, and that would only lead to their suicide, so they are brainwashed, and the result is conflict, violence and bloodshed.

The Vedas had taught us to look at us as ‘aham brahmasmi’ (I am Brahman), and if I am Brahman, then what about the other? Of course everyone is Brahman; the Greeks had proposed the theory of ‘demigods’, that everyone is an extension of God, or part of Godhead. If I see God in the other person, would I dare to cheat him, look at her with lustful eyes, attempt to rob the little he has, shed his blood in order to rob the house? The very moment I look at myself as God, and so are others, then the entire outlook changes, and I cannot do most of the things that I often take it for granted. And that is where the final judgment scene of Matthew 25 makes sense.

What do I think about my neighbor, especially those with whom I do not feel at ease, people who do not entertain my views and ideas, people who think very different from mine, people who often outshine me in several fields? Until I get out of my own self, I would not be entering into the spirit of Lent, which necessarily invites me to get out of my self, in order to enter into another self, the Self of the other. The world unfortunately, has taught us to love our own self, shower the greatest encomium to our own self and its image, forgetting the other persons are but extensions of my own image and likeness, which again is the image and likeness of God himself.

But is it possible for me to look at the other person, especially my rivals and enemies as extension of my own self? It is, and the season of lent may be a good occasion for us to practice this : all that I should do is to look at the other person as a looking mirror; that is all I need to do! Now when I look at another person (and if he is a looking mirror), what would I see? Of course, the image of my own self, and if that is the case, would I dare to harm him or her? Would I dare to rob his/her possessions? Here I would go beyond all narrow categories the world has created for me, the linguistic, regional, religious, cultural, ethnic, everything will come to a naught as soon as I place a looking mirror. Let us carry this mirror wherever we go, and we can be sure, we are safe, and others are also safe with us!

Engraving Empathy (Lent 2)

One of the best illustrations to explain empathy is ‘to get into another’s shoes’, and that truly means a lot. When we come to the level of empathy, we cannot be mere spectators, outsiders, who have no direct correlation to the people affected. It is not to shed crocodile tears for the suffering, nor is it to condescend on the people who are less fortunate or unfortunate, as the case may be! It refers to climbing down from one’s pedestal to be one with the affected. The word “coming down” has its own significance in the mystery of salvation, and Tagore in one of his beautiful poems from Gitanjali would hark on this image of “coming down”, when he says, “Such is your love, that you came down for us”.

One of the pre-conditions of expressing empathy is that I first of all give up my pedestal, give up my comfort and security, to take part in the insecurity of the other! I cannot hold on to my own security and yet wish to empathize with a suffering brother or sister. Thus to empathize with another person is not a joke, nor is it a casual act of charity I can do at will. There are very few challenging thing in life than to expressing empathy for a known or unknown brother or sister. Empathy is sure to disturb my social security system, my well-chalked out programs, my relationship with others, my good name and honor; everything may go haywire with empathy, but we shall realize at the end that it is all worth the trouble.

When I come down to get into the shoes of another, I am also soaring up in my listening capacity; from being able to listen to my inner Spirit, I am able to “participate” in the inner silence of the other. Beyond the cry, suffering and pain of the other is the inner silence of each person, and in empathy, I allow myself to mingle with the silence of the other. I am rising to a higher level of sensitivity, and experience of the ever Present, the eternal Now! Thus empathy is not a human act, but a call to participate in the divine confluence of stillness, where all tears and sweat find their culmination; where all pain and suffering find their end.

Let me present yet another image to empathy! It is to wear the color glasses of another; I would be seeing the world with his/her eyes; if the world looks green to him, so should it be for me; if the sun looks yellow for him, so should it be for me too. What happens here is something difficult to grasp: I am giving up my personal liberty, will, memory, understanding, in order to become a passive power, which can to tossed, molded by another. I become powerless before the world, when I put on these color glasses, and it is only I who would be able to realize the immense power of being powerless! After all most of world’s most powerful persons were powerless in one way or the other!

One of the greatest tests that the world would present to me, if I venture to empathize with my brothers and sisters, it is the endurance test for empathy! The wax candle which consumes itself in order to shed light cannot last forever; there is a time frame attached to it! There may be occasions when it may be threatened by the breeze from outside or the air from the ceiling fan, but when it allows itself to burn completely and unconditionally, its duty is done. Every test for empathy is a leap in faith in the eternal Being, who alone is the master of the universe, in whose lap all the worlds find existence. Empathy transports me from the human to the divine world! It is a gateway to eternity!

Learning to Listen (Lent 1)

It would be quite amazing to find out how many times the word ‘listen’ appears in the Bible. I can only guess it should be over a hundred times. Common sense distinction between hearing and listening make us aware that in listening we go beyond the mere sensory response by the ears. In listening, not only the ears, but the heart and mind are involved, and while hearing does not affect the person to whom the message is addressed, but listening necessarily expects a positive response from the person, and therefore while to hear is a passive verb, to listen is an active verb, which calls for action. There may also be a notion of urgency in the message implied in listening.

How is the lent linked to the art of listening? In the earlier reflection, I had made allusion to ‘Shema Israel’, which were to be the golden words of the people of Israel so much so every Jew knew the covenantal formula that the words of Shema Israel implied. While addressing the people through the instrumentality of prophets, God would often start his message with these words, Listen o Israel! Jesus often used the word when he concluded his parables, Listen all who have ears! If only we listen to the Word of God addressed to each one of us, our lives cannot be the same month after month, and year after year! We do not wish to listen to the Word, because we are afraid it might transform us into what we do not wish to be!

We live in a world where there are very few people who have mastered the art of listening, and such persons are hard to find, and they may not come with foreign recognized degrees in psychology or psychiatry, or they may not be great spiritual gurus the modern world is known for, or they may not have money or muscle power, but they may have a power which can defy anything that the world can subject them to; they cannot be killed, or their spirit quenched. There is something so very deep and strong in them that we find utterly powerless before them. These are the persons who know how to listen – to their inner spirit, to their neighbors, to nature, and to God!

Listening is impossible so long we do not stop the continuous, non-stop self-talk that goes on deep within us night and day. Even when we are seemingly quiet, our mind is talking; our body is talking, and our spirit is talking. It is one perpetual monologue, and when we keep talking to ourselves, we feel we cannot listen to the stillness of the Spirit within! Just a momentary encounter with this Spirit within, the paramatman, the eternal Being, is enough to transform us. We would realize that all our self-talk had been a vicious game that we wanted to engage ourselves in, but a face to face encounter with reality can remove the mask from our faces and we may realize nothing can equal reality, the stillness of our being.

What is listening? It is an attempt to enter into the stillness of the other; we do not listen with our ears, but with our hearts; it is the meeting point of hearts, a sangam of stillness, of Being. Here there can be no self-talk, no compulsive obsession to be self-centered, no preoccupation with the past or the future, but what matters in the art of listening is the present! I am who I am! We cannot listen to the past or the future, but can do it only in the eternal present, and that is where we will encounter the Now made into nama-rupa, what we would call God! Lent is an invitation to enter into this eternal silence of listening to our Self, our neighbor, nature around us and to the eternal present!

Reaping Lenten Fruits

There is something beautiful about lent, and there is something bad too in equal measure. The annual period of penance and repentance, lasting for 40 days, is observed so religiously by most of the traditional Catholics that they all might seem to be closer to the heaven than the others. The austerity with which they do fast and engage in spiritual activities, such as pilgrimages, extra time spent on every Friday for the Stations of the Cross, there are all signs that this season is truly a season of grace for all of them. But that much is the beautiful side of the lent.

There is also an ugly side to the season of “grace”. I could speak for my family; my parents fast for all the 40 days of lent, and skip one meal every day religiously; even if they fall sick, and require strength to carry on, they would not have food to sustain their body and mind. The rigor with which they do this ritual is sometimes frightening. Instead of this piety becoming a means to a greater union with the suffering Lord, and the less fortunate brothers and sisters of the society, the means often take the sway, and the end is often lost. My mother would go all the way to stick to the special pieties during the lent, while her quarrels with my father would go on unceasingly.

Let me add another dimension to the innumerable shades of meanings and significance that the season reminds us of. I would like to break the four letters of the world LENT, to imply LISTEN with EMPATHY to your NEIGHBORS TODAY. This is one thing that takes so much of strength and courage for us to do; we hear the cry of the people around us, but most often we are not touched; their cry stop with our ear drums, they do not enter into our hearts; sometimes the cries that come from all quarters are capable of transforming us, but only when we allow these cries to enter into us. Lent is a season to keep our ears and hearts open!

Every member of Israel is said to have carved the holy words of ‘Shema Israel’ (listen o Israel), and they were expected to inscribe these words, put them in an amulet and tie it on their foreheads, their wrists, in order to remind themselves that they are to listen to their God. LISTEN! The world around is fast forgetting the art of listening to oneself, neighbor, nature, and to God. Naturally when we fail to listen to the inner murmurings of our heart, we cannot listen to our neighbors, and when we cannot listen to ourselves and our neighbors, the cry of nature is addressed to barren grounds, and God would then remain just an unreachable destination.

In the next four reflections, we shall take a closer look at the four key words we have proposed for lent, listening, empathy, neighbor and today, and all of them have something to remind us about our own spiritual journey. Lent alone cannot make our entire spiritual journey; this is one of the key phases of our journey, but then there are other phases, and it is only when we make a smooth transition from one phase to another, from Christmas joy to the sorrow of lent and then proceed to experience the peace of the Risen Lord during the ordinary season of the liturgical calendar. Lent is an invitation to go deeper into our selves, for that is where we may encounter the Lord of our hearts.

The Last Run

When I first heard how this young man ended his life one night, I just could not digest the fact that there are such cowards still in the world. The vice-principal of a prestigious educational institution, known to so many illustrious persons resorted to such cowardly act of ending his life with a rope, hanging himself from the fan in his room! If that was a cowardly act, which I cannot accept, the reason why he did so was all the more cowardly. Just because a lady with whom he had a clandestine relationship, even physical affairs, was going to be married to another man, this young man wished to bargain with her, either she accepts him and forsakes the wedding, or he ends his life!

The lady, who happened to be working under the care of this young man, ultimately decided to find her own way, least expecting her paramour to decide something which was beyond all her imagination. One may go all lengths to blame the lady for tricking the young religious man into a relationship which was not becoming of his religious identity, leave alone of a gentleman. We are not sure how the relationship between the lady and the young religious priest began and bloomed, but one thing is for sure, the young man was far from being a religious, he was not even being an average human person, who could accept reality as it came to us.

I feel sad for the young man, who at the age of just 41, prime of his life, decided to bid farewell to the world, without a word to friends and relatives, all the people he grew with… and he quietly quit the world at the dark of the night. I am not much worried about the scandal that this incident of suicide has created in the city, but am worried more about the blot that it has left on religious life in general; the religious have lost much of their credibility because of the stupidity of this one young man, who had his own reason, however narrow it might be, to do what he wanted, without ever thinking of what the act would land him and his religious order into.

I feel there is nothing on earth which can be a valid reason for a person to take off his life, and surely not relationships, because with regard to human relationship, we enter into a limitless ocean, and we would find certain points shallow and certain other points deep. We may have to walk with care and caution, so that we do not allow ourselves to be drowned. There may be cozy points, there might be quicksand, and there may also be dry ground in the midst of water. We all of us find persons of our choice and taste during our sojourn on the sea; some persons enter into our lives for a short duration, while some others walk with us greater distance, and very seldom we may find persons who may walk with us all the way.

The number of persons embracing death in the recent years has increased manifold; for quite many young people it is the easy way to escape life. It is heartening to listen to the story of each of the people who have resorted to end their lives, for silliest reasons to grave ones. I am convinced of one thing, we cannot give any reason for running away from life; by trying to end their lives, these people have only tried to prove, they were not meant to be born on earth; for the world belongs only to the people who know how to live courageously and appreciate life on earth. The escapists had entered into the world by mistake and probably the world never belonged to them, very much as they did not belong to the world.