Failures as stepping stones

I know one thing for sure, I do not determine the success or failure of the things I am engaged in. Though I would desire success in all that I do, I do not succeed in achieving it; I am not able to say if there is something basically lacking in me, or if I am expecting far too much from life. I do have a good share of success in life, and for that I would ever be grateful to God; there were times when my companions and friends had envied me, and I had floated in vain glory. I even thought that I was smarter than what I had been imagining myself to be, or what others had thought me to be. But at the end of the day, I cannot help but admit that I am a mixture of success and failures in life, and I cannot hold on only to successes, for the real stepping stones in life are failures.

The world around me insists that success in life is the yardstick to measure the worth of life, but if that be the case a good majority of the human population would be condemned to failure in life, because what they had managed to achieve in life in terms of success are too negligible to mention. I know that success alone cannot be the indicator of how I have fared in life; I need to look for some other objective criteria, which will help me to assess my own self and that of others. Unfortunately the whole world may shout in unison that I was a utter failure in life and had not scored well in the examination of life, even if I had done my best. But I know with God there is a different kind of yardstick, and here he would look at my efforts and not so much the fruits of my labor.

Everyone around me looks at the fruits of my labor, if they are sweet or sour. There is not a single soul who would appreciate sour, but everyone would go in unison for the sweet. But the sour moments alone help a person to appreciate the beauty and wonder of the sweet. I had been overly conscious of achieving success in life, and in the meantime had failed to live life as it came to me with all its innumerable hues and colors. I had failed miserably to taste what life offered me, and even if I had succeeded in life from the point of view of the world, I have failed miserably before the Lord and before my own inner self. I had resisted the moments of my failure and cursed everyone who had made me fail in life, because it came as a bitter moment for me; it would take a life time for me to understand the secret behind every failure I had walked through.

If every single person were to succeed in life, and does not experience failure, then life would be quite different. It is only because there are failures that we could strive towards success, but there are moments when we find it hard to rise up from the fall and continue further in life. There are the moments we long for a helping hand, and who else but God stretches out his hand on the Cross and helps us to hold on to the wooden frame which is the ultimate symbol of failure. If the Son of God had gone through the ultimate symbol of failure, what is there for me to accept miniscule minute failures, which may not even leave behind their traces in my life. It is the crucified Lord who accepted joyfully the shame of utter failure, which could give me the sight to see the wonder of embracing failures when they come my way!

There is nothing more shocking and embarrassing for me than the moment of failures; this is the most unwanted reality in my life, and in fact there is not a single soul on earth, who would willingly and joyfully welcome failure. This is the unwelcome friend who alone can help us understand and appreciate the hard way to face reality. Today I stand to welcome every failure which may come knocking at my door, because it is only when I embrace it joyfully that I can enter into the very mystery of the Cross, and then I may find my way to the mystery of the resurrection, a success which may far surpass anything I could ever think of. This perhaps is the way of the kenosis, the self-emptying love of the Lord for his people. If I want to partake of the paschal mystery, then there is no other way than the path of failures, shame, scandal and humiliation which the crucified Lord walked through. Today this could be my way too to find fulfillment and true joy in life.

I am weak!

Ever since I heard the song some 27 years ago, I have been moved by the depth of the lyrics. Even today when I try to join my voice with the singer, I could feel my voice tremble. This song has become partly the theme song of my life. I am presenting the song which has become the favorite of several persons, and has moved them to tears. “I'm only human, I'm just a woman / Help me believe in what I could be / And all that I am / Show me the stairway, I have to climb / Lord for my sake, teach me to take / One day at a time.// cho: One day at a time sweet Jesus / That's all I'm asking from you / Just give me the strength / To do every day what I have to do / Yesterdays gone sweet Jesus / And tomorrow may never be mine / Lord help me today, show me the way / One day at a time. // Do you remember, when you walked among men / Well Jesus you know if you're looking below / It's worse now, than then / Cheating and stealing, violence and crime / So for my sake, teach me to take / One day at a time.”

Sometimes I wonder if something had gone wrong when God was creating me; if he had forgotten to add the proper proportion of head and heart. The weaknesses that I carry with me become the thorn in the flesh that St Paul talks about in his Second Letter to Corinthians 12:7-10. Why should my weaknesses control and direct my steps and why don’t I have the strength to withstand these temptations? I do not think that God takes pleasure in my weaknesses and falls; he cannot be such a cruel God. The more I become conscious of the ingrained weaknesses in my flesh, I could only utter the glorious words of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane: the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak! There is no dearth of goodness and willingness, but the flesh falters me each time.

Ignorance is bliss; it is all the more true in the case of my weaknesses. So long I was not aware of my weaknesses and limitations, I was in bliss, and there was nothing which disturbed my peace. Though a lot of people made so much of hue and cry, I was not moved; but things have changed drastically now. I am painfully aware of my dark spots and they make me sleepless. The fear of yielding to my weaknesses is yet another demon which is chasing me night and day. Even when I am so conscious of my weaknesses, I can’t even make out when I am yielding to it. It happens so suddenly that I may not be present to those moments. I feel sad that I had not been able to resist the temptation of yielding to the temptations. I have become a loser, again, and do not see much of hope in restoring back my life.

Even in my weak moments, there is one consolation: I am not the only weak person in the world; there are millions who are just as weak as I am, and some of them are even weaker than me, and still they go through life joyfully without complaining or arguing with the creator. It is possible that I am not satisfied with what I am, and always wish to be better than what God had made me to be. I comparison to my weaknesses, the strengths that God had showered on me are too numerous, and yet I only magnify my weaknesses and fail to thank God for the many strengths. It is because of my strengths that I am able to continue with life, without taking recourse to any short cuts. There are brighter spots which are my guiding light, and how easily I ignore them!

St Paul had experienced the strength that came from God during his weak moments, and it would have been a wonderful experience for him. To surrender my weaknesses to him, and seeking him to strengthen me – this is my moment of grace. This implies that I need to take recourse to him, seek his ever abiding help, so that I am not stranded on the life’s path. For God, my weaknesses may not appear as weaknesses, and he could turn them into my strengths; nothing is impossible for him, and that is where I place so much of confidence in him, and live with hope. Even if everything were to fail and part from me, I know God will not leave me, for he would be there every time I fall and seek his help.

Strength of the Weak

There is not a single soul on earth who can claim before God to be strong enough to face all the trials and tribulations of the world; there is no one who can claim innocent before the throne of God. There is a patch of weakness and sinfulness ingrained in each one of us, and no one is spared from this. But this is no matter to worry about, because when we acknowledge our weaknesses, we can experience the strength that comes from God. In fact, those who see their sinfulness and weaknesses before God and acknowledge them are no longer weak and fragile, but are strong persons, because it is the Lord who grants them his own strength to fight against all evils which enslave them. Therefore if I want to experience the strength and power of God, the only thing that I need to do is to acknowledge my weaknesses before him, and trust in his providence to strengthen me in his own time, in his own way.

There are people who cannot see their weaknesses, and would go all length to justify each and every action of theirs, and may pass the blame on to their neighbors, and even to God. These people often look for alibi, scapegoats to pass the bug on to some others. They cannot face their own nakedness, and the blot of sinfulness stare at them and it could become unbearable for them. But who can deny the human nature which is there in me, which makes me think that I am the most perfect person that is possible on earth! I would go no justifying my actions, heaping lie upon lie, until the whole mound crashes and I am made a laughing stock before all. I might then see the Lord standing at a distance and smiling at me. He might be just as helpless as I had been, but the only consolation I could have now is his very presence.

The psalms reiterate in unequivocal terms how God comes to the aid of the weak and the feeble; he gives them the power to stand against all the powers of the world, and they would be able to stand before kings and emperors and speak their mind, and still no one would lay their hands on them. Or take the case of Moses, the man who stammered, and had no gift of speech. ‘But, how can I? I do not know how to speak’ Moses complains to the Lord, and the Lord gives him Aaron to be his mouthpiece. What is the situation of Isaiah and Jeremiah? The weak persons become the champions of God’s justice and retribution. There are several examples for the weak people, who had been strengthened by the Lord, and they found their lives taking a U-turn thereafter. It can happen in my life too; the same Lord can make me stand erect by the strength he would shower upon me.

I cry to the Lord and tell him that I am utterly powerless to withstand the storms that threaten my life, and he looks at me lovingly and asks me to put my trust in him. Paul was such a man, who was conscious of his weaknesses, and the riddle of life – he could not do the good that he wanted to do, and was doing just the evil that he did not want to. This is a great irony of life, and Paul could not be freed from this predicament. He felt helpless and the Lord stood by his side and provided him with the strength to accept life with all the light and shadows. We have no authority to question the Lord’s ways; they may be quite contrary to human thinking, but all generations would prove that there can never be better justice than in the Lord. If I do not surrender myself to him, and acknowledge my weaknesses before his presence, I might be slowly sinking in my own sinfulness.

The Lord looks at our hearts and not our physique. We have the beautiful story of the anointing of David by prophet Samuel, who looking at the brothers of David thinks one of them should have been chosen by God; but God warns the prophet and tells him not to look at the physique because the Lord looks not at the body, but the heart. A heart that is broken and is supple before the Lord can win the favor of the Lord and he would shower his strength on his chosen and help restore life. Life cannot drown us, so long the Lord is at our side; but if we decide to take full control over life, and do not allow the Lord to take control over our lives, then we might have to regret. Today my only prayer before the Lord is that I might see my nakedness before my eyes and acknowledge my weaknesses before the Lord, who alone can strengthen me and make me his very own!

God who protects the virtuous

The Holy Bible shows in umpteen ways how God walks the extra mile to protect the virtuous, because their lives are in his hands. He cannot let their lives be swept away together with the wicked. There are stories after stories in the Bible which show God’s special care for the virtuous, who follow his directives. He separates them from the evil-doers at the time of retribution and gifts them with life. Such is the case with Abraham’s brother Lot, who is taken out of Sodom and Gomorrah, before God rained fire and brimstone on the twin cities and destroyed it beyond all recognition, but he remembered to save Lot. In his old age, God promises that he would not destroy the city where he would take shelter as he ran away from the cities of destruction. That was a wonderful way how God had a special plan for Lot.

Whenever we cry to the Lord, he listens to our prayer. All that we need to do is stretch out our hands to him, and he is sure to hold us. Think of the situation of Peter, who was known for his impetuosity, and while seeing Jesus walking on the sea, he too wishes to walk on the water. Jesus loves people who dare to dream big, and therefore he invites him to step out of the boat and walk. Doubt and uncertainty grip him hard and he begins to sink, and the very next moment he seeks the help of his Master, who stretches out his hand to him and holds him tight. Jesus would not even require the request of Peter to save him from the danger of sinking, for he would not let his beloved disciple die in the sea. Such is the case with all those who seek the help and assistance of God, he would be there to protect and save them.

I may wonder if I am truly virtuous to win the favor of the Lord, and seek his protection; one thing is clear that very seldom would a mother desert her son or daughter. The children are her own blood and there is a bond which is thicker than blood; if such is the case with our human mothers, how much more would be the bond that God had bound us with himself, our creator and Lord. There is not a single person who can feel that he or she is unworthy of God’s mercy and compassion; even the most hardcore criminal and sinner could find a safe haven under the protective wings of God, because the breath that we breathe does belong to God, and he cannot forget us, even if we go far away from his loving protection. The only condition that we need to fulfill is that we seek his help and assistance, that would do, and he would do the rest.

Jesus presents himself as the good shepherd who goes after seeking the lost; as is normally the case, often times the sheep might go its own way and may lose tract of its flock, and yet the shepherd does not complain and say, let it go to hell, it was after all not my mistake! He would leave behind all the others and go after seeking the lost. There is a wonderful message in this scene of the good shepherd that Jesus presents in the gospel according to John. He is the one who leads us to fresher waters and greener pastures, for he knows better than all, what is best for me and he would do accordingly. My judgments could err, but his judgments are impeccable and they would truly lead me to life in its fullness. Today I seek the protection of God, who alone can give life in its fullness to humanity.

We have no merit to call ourselves virtuous, and if there is any trace of virtuosity in me, it is thanks to the free gift of God, which he lavished upon me gratuitously. And yet before God, we all of us can find peace and security, irrespective of how we had been relating to him. Those who refuse life are the people who refuse his free gift, and still he is not the one who would reprimand and throw us away, he would still take us close to his bosom, because life was an extension of his divine self, which he showers upon the human persons. If Jesus is the one who goes after the lost sheep, then every sinner can find a place in his heart. This is truly consoling for all of us who are trying to tie up the loose ends, so that we can find true happiness and joy all by ourselves.

Walking the Path

God may only show the way, and it is for us to walk the path; after all, God cannot force us to walk the entire journey. As the famous Indian proverb goes, we may only take the horse to the waterside, but we cannot force it to drink water. The drinking part has to be done by the horse. When we are confronted by problems and challenges, God may help us, but he may not force us to be freed from the tricky situation. We need to cooperate with God in order to help ourselves. If God were to force us to live in safety and security, then it would not be we who live, but it would be God, who would be living our lives, and that would be quite contrary to the plan of God. He may provide us with the finest food, but we need to undertake the eating part; he cannot eat for us.

God invites us to help ourselves, though he does his part in clearing the hurdles which block our way to freedom and happiness. There are numerous miracles that Jesus performs, where he invites the sick to do their part to be completely healed. Look at the story of the ten lepers coming to Jesus and asking him to heal them; Jesus who respected the role of the high priests, tells the lepers to show themselves to the high priest… that is the little bit that they could do without much difficulty. The second part of the story only shows how wicked and cunning we could be, forgetting the goodness of God, and even failing to be grateful to him for the healing we have received. The Gospel says that as they were going to the high priest, they all were healed, and only a Samaritan returns to thank God.

Or let us take the story of Namaan from the Old Testament… the prophet had invited him to go and dip seven times in the Jordon river, so that he might be cleansed of leprosy. He was indignant, the Bible says, because he claimed there were cleaner rivers such as the Euphrates, and why he should have come all the way… But strangely what God asks of those who seeking healing is something so negligible and insignificant that we might think it silly and too trivial. If Namaan was too upset for being asked to take a dip in Jordon river, he might not have experienced healing. Perhaps we might be prepared to do something more demanding and challenging, but to do what is silly and trivial is too hard for us; if God does the 80 per cent of the job of healing, he wishes us to do the 20 per cent, to bring home the point that we have our role to play in the process of healing, for part of the healing comes from within our own selves.

We could take the story of Moses leading the people of Israel out of Egypt, and now they have come to bank of the Red Sea, and find it difficult to decide what they would do. Was it impossible for God to separate the waters so that his people could walk through it? Then why should he instruct Moses to tap his rod on the water, so that the water might divide? Similarly, when the people of Israel were asking for water, the Lord asks Moses to strike the rock with his rod, and water gushes forth. What is the point in these stories that God seeks the instrumentality of human persons? God is all powerful and nothing is impossible for him, and yet he depends on the human persons to bring to fruition his own divine plan, and therefore we become the collaborators in God’s salvific plan. For God, the little that we might offer to him is sweeter and tastier than all the rest.

Let me conclude with the famous story of the widow’s mite; what she had offered to the temple treasury is insignificant, and not worth mentioning, but Jesus takes note of this gesture of the widow, and appreciates her for the generosity with which she had offered to the temple. What is more important here is not how much she had contributed, but with what disposition she had done this act of contributing to the temple. One thing is sure, God cannot demand from us something which we cannot afford to give him, and he would ask us only what we can happily give to him, and he could multiply manifold what we offer him. Let us remember the wonderful story that Rabindranath Tagore narrates in his Song-Offerings about the Greedy (Kripon) man, who offers one gain of rice to the king who begged of him, and finds on reaching home that the grain he had gifted to the king had returned to him as golden grain, and he cries bitterly, ‘Why did I not give all that I had?’

Life in Abundance of Losers

Life is quite charming and enticing for the people who like to see the brighter side of things; these are the people who would look at the darkest clouds with a magnifying glass to trace thin silver lining, and that is all that is required for them to get back the zest and zeal that they require to fight back in life. There is no failure or challenge which is insurmountable to these people, because they have the inner strength to withstand all adversaries. These are not the brightest, cleverest and the smartest of people, but they know the art of living, and have learned it through the hard way, by submitting themselves to innumerable trials and errors. They have no pride to claim that they are beyond all vices; they know how vulnerable and fragile they are and yet they depend on a power which can put them at a level too difficult for the brightest, cleverest and the smartest to scale.

Let me again fall back on the wonderful miracle stories found in the New Testament. Every miracle that Jesus performs presents to us people who are weak, vulnerable, incapacitated, voiceless, unable to fight the odds by their own strength. The first step towards recovery for them comes from the fact that they do not shy away from acknowledging the situation they are in. Jesus helps them to acknowledge their vulnerability; it could be deemed as a testing on the part of the master healer, who plunges to purge their inner self, before healing them physically. What do you want? or what can I do for you? Or look at the mighty Centurion, I am not worthy to receive you, but you say only a word and my servant will be healed!

Why should the Centurion acknowledge what he is incapable of, and what was the need for him to strip himself naked in front of the wonder worker? But it is only when he stands naked could he expect the Master cover his nakedness with his own cloak. It is only the empty pitcher, which can be filled. If I do not acknowledge that I am empty, no one can fill it. I shall present one lovely poem by Rabindranath Tagore from his Song Offerings (Gitanjali, 77) : “The day is no more, the shadow is upon the earth. It is time that I go to the stream to fill my pitcher. The evening air is eager with the sad music of the water. Ah, it calls me out into the dusk. In the lonely lane there is no passer-by, the wind is up, the ripples are rampant in the river. I know not if I shall come back home. I know not whom I shall chance to meet. There at the fording in the little boat the unknown man plays upon his lute.”

Those who cannot accept what comes in life knocking at their doors, do not want to accept their vulnerabilities, their weaknesses. It requires far more guts and courage to acknowledge one’s weaknesses than to accept the strengths. That is why Jesus strengthens every person why present their vulnerability in front of him. The first lesson towards freedom, and its subsequent peace and happiness comes from accepting my own frailties. No one on earth is perfect; even the most perfect person would be quite impure in the sight of God. Thus to acknowledge one’s weaknesses is not a heroic act, but one which requires quite a deal of humility and submission. True healing can come only when I have the disposition to surrender myself fully before the all-powerful God, and prepare to follow his counsel.

Any loser who accepts and acknowledges his or her own defeat or loss immediately springs to hero or heroine. The healing that Jesus bestows is as an acknowledgement for the heroic act that they have displayed by accepting their weaker selves. Consider the story of Barthemeus, who is fully aware that he lacked sight and longed to see. ‘That I may see’, he cries out to the Lord, and he restores sight to him. The woman who had been suffering from haemorrhage for twelve years knows that only Jesus could restore her health, because she is aware that that was her real self, which had been haunting her for all these years. If I want to taste life and be enveloped by the aroma it emanates, all that I need to do is place myself before the Lord and accept my vulnerabilities, so that he could touch and heal me; why a word from his mouth may be enough to bring wholeness to me!

God of the Fighters

St John presents God as the God of the living in his gospel of Jesus Christ; he is not the God of the dead, but of the living. God cannot belong to the realm of the dead, those who have crossed the threshold of life and have passed into the netherworld. God by his very nature is living, and his life gives life to the world. Therefore we cannot think of God as anyone different from the living. No wonder then that St Peter in his famous declaration of his faith to his Master, calls him as the “Son of the living God”. What a wonderful title for Jesus, whose life was characterized by life, life in its fullness. He had life overflowing in him, and all those who were living life half-heartedly, began to brim with the fullness of life, which made his enemies shudder.

God takes the side of those who dare to take life as it came, and not those who ran away from it. God invites the daring to fight, even with him, and he is sure not to impose his power and might on the weak creatures, but gives due weightage to the fight. The Old Testament presents such a beautiful picture of Abram fighting with God, and is also rewarded for his boldness to wrestle with the Mighty God. Abram becomes Abraham, and he gets a new identity, after winning over God for his side, and I tend to believe God would have been delighted to “fight” with his servant Abram, very much like bitches love to play with their puppies, and they have so much of fun in the play. God invites his children to even fight with him, so that they might grow from strength to strength.

The Bhagavad Gita too presents such a God who beckons his disciple to go fighting, and not to shy away from his responsibility. Arjuna refuses to fight the battle, resolving to retreat, because it would be dishonor to fight with one’s own kinsmen. It is easy to give up at the thick of the battle, and it takes a lot of guts to go forward, unaware what fate awaited him. Arjuna might have also been afraid of the consequences; what if he were to lose the battle? It takes the whole of the Bhagavad Gita for Lord Krishna to instruct Arjuna, so that he might go forward to fight, come what may. He was not to think about the fruits of his labor, but only do his duty. That is why at the end, Arjuna surrenders to the Divine Lord, saying ‘karishye vachanam tava’ (I have resolved to do your will). That is when the actual battle is won.

The world unfortunately has more losers and retreaters than fighters; there are too many fears stopping even those who have the strength to fight the battle. There are bad companions who counsel in wicked ways, and there are circumstances which puts off even the valiant soldiers. Life’s battle does not come with too many risks; there are difficult times and hardships, but they can never destroy a person; what can really destroy a person is his or her unwillingness to take the fight and do it to the best of his/her ability. Those who wish to run away from the battle are the losers in all the cases. For the brave, no army is too large to win; it is the inner battle that one has to win before winning the physical war. This is the wonderful lesson that many of the biblical stories present to us.

Let me end with yet another beautiful story from the Bible, and this time a boy dares to fight with a monster, and defeat him. No one can take David, the shepherd boy, when he approaches Saul to fight against the monstrous Philistian’s Goliath. The boy is made a laughing stock, which the boy has the heart of steel, and he knows for sure to defeat this monster, what he needed was not physical prowess, but spiritual strength, and the boy had in abundance. And we are amazed at the way the boy swings the catapult and drowns the giant. No one can believe that was possible for a boy who knew only to tend his sheep, but David is a warrior who won the battle of the heart before defeating his enemies, and he invites today every one of us to our battles, here and now!

Life, the web of relations

There is no other creature on earth which experiences the bond of being related as much as the human beings. We are linked to everything we see in the world; there is a bond of fellowship and fraternity with everything living and dead. Scientists would go all the way to prove that every atom on earth is linked to everything around it; it might be easy for scientists to prove it because the fundamental principle linking everything is the same. It is the same atoms which form myself, which is also found in the most hardcore criminal on earth; the microorganism which I am made of is the same as the one my pet dog is made of. In that case what distinguishes me from my dog is something that could be questioned scientifically, because there are dogs which are cleverer than the human persons(!), and we may come across more intelligent animals in the years to come and that may be the end of the human race.

But if every organism on earth is linked with a web of relations, why is it we behave so queerly often, and even tend to disregard this bond of fellowship. There is a natural tendency to depend on the elders during our childhood days, but as we grow big, we begin to stand on our own feet, as it were, and do not want the elders taking care of us. We would like to show everyone around us that we are mature enough, and can take care of ourselves. That may be one place where we are given too much of independence and freedom that we fail to allow our elders take care of us during our most formative years. There is also an urge within us to be independent so that we need not listen to the dictates of the elders, especially those who boss over us. Every web of relation severed is lost forever and they may never come back to us; this is a harsh reality we seldom understand, and when we might understand it might be too late.

I had chosen the image of a web (more precisely of a spider), because it illustrates beautifully what our lives are like. The bridges between us, the human beings and other organisms is so fragile and weak that they may snap at any time, and when a link is lost that part of the web is unreachable. Every time we disregard relationships and tend to strengthen and fortify our own portals, we are only inviting trouble; it might not be too late for us to realize that our fort may collapse one fine morning because we had not taken to strengthen the edifice. The pillars alone cannot guarantee safety for the building, the edifice has to embrace the pillars to provide the much needed strength and support for the building. We need to build each of the links with the world around, very much like the spider painstakingly builds each one of the segments of the web. And it is only too happy when it completes the web, and joyfully hops from one segment to another, until some external force compels the web to break.

To build a web of relations is not a laborious task for a spider, it is a joyful event; I have noticed that it might take just a night for a spider to weave a decent looking web. When the web needs to be built, it leaves aside everything else, and labors on it, and when the day breaks one can notice that the web is ready, and the golden beams of the sun pass through the web, strengthening the bonds. Just look at the accompanying picture of the web with tiny drops of snow capping the bridges; we can notice that the segments are not strong all through; in some places they are frail and weak, and in some other places they are strong. Indeed that is how our relationships with others take shape. Over the years our relationships may become weak and it may sever someday, when we least expect, if we are not careful.

It is not impossible for one spider to link her web with another web and thus enlarge the circle of relationship; and when the webs grow wider and wider, then we have greater space for relating with others, and we may also enjoy a wider area to build relationships. One cannot assess the quality of relationship with others on the basis of the number of friends and associates one has, but on the basis of the depth of relationship that they enjoy. Even a couple of friends who would stand by my side, especially when I am downcast and find life unbearable, would be far more precious than having a whole lot of friends who may even have the courtesy to call on me to check if I am OK! Today as we look at this beautiful web of spiders, let us weave our own web of relations, so that we shall have greater freedom and accessibility towards everyone we like and love!

Pilgrimage of Life

Traditionally for centuries, human life has been compared to a pilgrimage, a journey in solitude! It was a spiritual journey, on the way to the inner self, as it were. During the Middle Ages, such a journey was undertaken with great care and diligence; it was not a matter people could play with. John Bunyan, who wrote the classic The Pilgrim’s Progress had presented such a noble picture of the journey to the center of one’s own self, and many a holy men and women had traced his path in order to attain self-fulfillment, or to put in a Christian terminology, their own salvation. The word pilgrimage carries the spiritual tone implied in the act of journeying in spirit. If life is a pilgrimage, then we should know where we are heading to, our point of arrival.

It has been said several times by holy people that what is most important in the pilgrimage is not so much the arrival at the point of destination, but the journey itself. There might be only a handful of men and women, who might reach the destination, but “salvation” is in undertaking the journey and committing oneself to walk towards the destination with all sincerity. Life would present several sub-ways and glamorous pathways as we proceed on the journey, and there might be people whom we would meet on the way, and they might request our company. But if we keep obliging all the people we meet on the way, it could be possible that we might ‘miss the bus’, and land up in some other place. Saying no to what comes on the way is important in any journey.

It is not that all that we come across during the course of this journey is bad or evil; there are a lot of people who reach out to us with all sincerity and honesty, with the genuine sense of helping us out when we struggle, and we cannot afford to suspect their intentions. But anything which may distance us from the path that we have chosen voluntarily should be avoided, if we want to be faithful to our journey. Learning to say “no” with a smile is an art that we all need to learn early in life, in order to find fulfillment and satisfaction. If there are people who are easily pulled and pushed by the different pressures on life’s journey, might land up desolate and alone, and there might be no one at times to give them the solace and comfort that they might have been frantically seeking.

This is a pilgrimage with no point of return; we cannot change our mind midway. It is a deliberate decision that we take that we would walk all the way, without turning back. And probably that is what Jesus said to his disciple that anyone who puts his hand on the plough and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of Heaven. Unfortunately it is not as easy as said; fragile and vulnerable as we are, trials and tribulations are sure to come our way and we might be tempted to turn back and run towards the familiar grounds; who wants to face the unfamiliar and harsh realities of life. But considering a return to the point from where we had begun our journey is equal to accepting defeat, and in life one can hardly walk backwards; one can either walk forward or lie down eternally on the path. It is for us to decide if we want to forge ahead or accept defeat and lie on the ground.

The eyes of the pilgrim are fixed on the destination, and there is nothing which can distract his eyes from the point, and as he takes every step, he is happy that he had walked such a long distance, and therefore the distance ahead does not come as a threat to him. When one of the great men who had reached the peaks of an enormously high mountain with just one foot, the would could not believe its eyes. They rushed to him and asked him how he managed with just a single foot to scale the entire altitude of the mountain, and his simple answer was, “I hopped just one step at a time!” What a wonderful answer; we need not worry about the hundreds of kilometers that we need to travel before reaching a point of rest, all that we need to do is to take just one step at a time, and sooner or later we might discover that we are not far from the destination!

Life-promoting at all cost

No human person or the social structure on earth under whatever pretext, has the moral authority to take the life of a human person. Sometimes I fear we have given too much liberty to the state and the state machinery to play with the lives of its citizens at will, with very little care and concern for their lives. The human made hunger and starvation in certain parts of the world, and the growing colossal waste of edible things in other parts of the planet make one to think if God had created two kinds of human beings. But that is only one side of the spectrum, where we witness people dying en masse due to mismanagement of the earth’s resources. If the state had wisely allocated the natural resources to her citizens, such a thing may not happen.

I tend to believe that the first few chapters of the Book of Genesis summarizes the entire history of the human race. If we look carefully at the way how different incidents and events in the first few chapters represent epoch-making events of the world’s history, we are awe-stuck. Let me take the story of Cain and Abel to illustrate how what transpired between the two brothers is symbolic of what is happening even today in our neighborhood. Cain and Abel are, to use a term popularized by Carl Jung, archetypes of certain sections of the society. From a simplistic point of view, they represent the good and the evil, but looking at from a deeper perspective they represent the life-promoting and life-denying forces.

In every place where life is denied, either voluntarily or involuntarily, then the spirit of Cain is at work, and wherever we encounter life is promoted and safeguarded at all cost, then the spirit of Abel is at work. Whatever be the situation and partiality that became apparent for Cain, he had no right to take the life of his brother Abel. He could never justify what he had done. No death can be final, but it might only unearth some other dirty demons out of the cupboards. In the Bible the event has been presented in a dramatic way, as if the spirit of Abel crying for justice in the presence of God. If such is true, then God should be spending sleepless nights each day, because we cannot imagine how many lives are taken forcefully each day.

One of the primary responsibilities of every state is to promote life of her citizens and provide avenues for them to nurture and cherish life. The state cannot put her citizen in an endangering situation, leave alone put them at the forefront of battlegrounds, where their lives would be at stake. Human race had fought many a battle, where millions of men, women and children had breathed their lost, in order to protect the selfish motives of a handful of political leaders, who desired to have their way, at the loss of these men and women. In the name of national security, every nation spends billions of dollars in order to keep the aliens away; protecting the lifeless borders is one thing, and killing the intruding the ‘foreigners’ is another issue.

Everyone on earth can be a life-promoter, in whatever little way it is possible. We do not need to do great things, but we could do simple things through which we could safeguard the life of a person or two. If every individual on earth vouches to protect the life of the people around, and go to all extend to promote life, then the world would be a different place altogether. Evil might be fleeing from the face of the earth too soon. It is possible for every person to do this simple act of charity : each day as I wake up I could whisper to myself that I would promote life of the persons I shall be encountering this day, and will not be the cause of the life-denial of anyone. There is nothing impossible in this simple resolution, and then we will see how the world is becoming the Garden of Eden once again, and this time there might be no snake to tempt and trick us.

Life, God’s greatest gift

No other creature on earth can value and understand the worth of life as human persons. The Bible goes to great length to bring home the point that the life of the human beings is but an extension of God’s own life. If we look carefully at how the Holy Bible presents the creation of Adam, the first human person, we are told that God “breathed” into Adam, and he came into being. Such was the greatness and privilege that human beings enjoy. We have been freely bestowed this special privilege of sharing in the very life of God, and we have the duty and responsibility to safeguard this life at all cost. We have no right to take it away for whatsoever reason. Doing so would be undoing what God had destined for the human race, and indirectly bringing dishonor to God’s goodness.

All the creatures around us on earth strive hard to cherish this life, and they put no artificial obstacle to bring an end to this life. Look at the animal kingdom, there is no animal which would voluntarily seek to end life; they would allow the natural course of life to terminate, and they would fight till the end to keep life going. That is a wonderful lesson for us, who try to find shortcuts to run away from life, especially when we find the going is tough. Even in the midst of worst adversaries, and threats some animals have devised mechanism to fight untimely termination of life. Such is the case it is said with mongoose, who would look for certain herbs after being bitten by venomous snakes, to counter the venom that might have gone into their system.

How many of the human persons do behold the life they have freely received, is a big question. We have not chosen life, it has been freely lavished on us through the coming together of our parents, and we can ennoble their union (which goes far beyond mere physical), by living life to its fullest. But in today’s world, is it possible to live life to its fullest without being coerced by external forces? It is not difficult to find fault with the social structures in order to blame why we are forced to corners, and find it hard to extend the thread of life go on. Ultimately it is within the power and control of every human person to let life take its own turns and twists, and when the time is ripe (and if it is the will of God, as God-fearing men and women might hold), we may have the humility and generosity to pass into another phase of life, called death.

What can we say of the artificial means of terminating life, such as violence, accidents, murders, killing, assassination, feticide, homicide, to name a few. There is no dearth of means to take human life forcefully, without the consent of the persons concerned. We come across events and incidents where human life is not given its due worth and importance. Even as I write this blog, I see the visuals of the train accident in Uttar Pradesh where several men and women had died. This situation is merely human-made and it is not impossible to prevent such accidents, if only the social structures do their part. These are cases where we have no control, and therefore we may not consider these as ways of forceful and voluntary termination of life.

We have innumerable accounts of men and women who had withstood all attempts made of them to rob their precious life, and they had lived to tell their stories, in spite of torture and cruel pain inflicted on them, just because they had been determined to live life to its fullest. This is one thing that goes beyond all science and human experience. If one wishes to live despite deadly disease throttling one, even if cancer cells are fast spreading, mere will power and determination may prolong the life of the person for a few more days, if not months. I have come across men and women who had been fighting a fierce battle against cancer and had proved medical science incorrect when it came to living life in its fullness.

Every person who lives lift to its fullest brings honor and glory to the creator, who created them to savor life and thus honor his creative power. We can live this life one day at a time, being grateful to God for this greatest gift he had bestowed on us, and live it to its fullest each day!

In quest of life in its fullness - Introduction

It is hard for me to explain what St John meant by the phrase “life in its fullness”, but I know one thing for sure that Jesus came as the epitome, the summum bonum of life with all its myriad hues and colors. We receive the fullness of life only from and through him. This is one fact that has been sustaining the lives of several millions of men and women down the centuries. There were people who were determined to consider their lives as worthless before the one who would give them several times more than what they had given up for his sake. They were sure to receive life in its abundance, and that hope kept growing in their hearts until they were ablaze with love for the Lord.

Every human soul is made of the same stuff as the one which Jesus possessed while on earth. Without taking recourse to over spiritualization, we could safely say that every person on earth is created to reach this fullness of life, and if there is any obstacle coming on the way, we have the duty and responsibility to remove it, so that we are not deprived of tasting what life has to offer to us. Eternity in one sense refers to tasting the fullness of life as God keeps pouring out to each one of us. There is no one who is exempted from this invitation, though there would be many who would pretend as if they had not received the invitation. These are the people who are in need of finding the wellsprings of life and labor to walk towards it.

If everyone is engaged in a quest to taste the fullness of life, there are very few who find the wellsprings; and very few who return to their own people to tell them what the wellsprings had done in their lives; anyone who drinks of the water of life cannot remain the same. There is a magical quality attributed to the waters flowing from these eternal wellsprings, and very few would dare to approach the springs and drink from it. For many the wellsprings may be far too intimidating, and we would find any number of excuse to avoid going in search of it. It is cozy and comfortable to remain in the land of oblivion, as in the case of the Lotus Eaters, but it would take a lot of guts and courage to walk in search of waters, though we have no road map to find it.

There are more and more people who are getting frustrated in life and find life is not worth living, and every hour may become for them eternity of agony stretched for ever. They would love to forget the real world and might wish to enter into a world of oblivion, where they would not be responsible for their actions, and they might do anything and even justify their actions. The rate of suicide in the world is far more than many past years put together. We cannot say that globalization and the market economy that we experience these days were responsible for the kind of situation we have landed up in the world. It is also obvious that none of seem to have the solutions to many of the problems the world is reeling under the weight of!

It does not require great intellect or holiness to understand that the way to face life with all the challenges, struggles, fears and anxieties in life; there are more and more people who are looking for answers to questions which do not exist in reality; they have created virtual world, and are busy measuring its width, height and breath… It might take just a child to tell them that they are living in a world quite different from ours. What I hope to present in the next few blogs are some of the areas that we need to explore before we find the wellsprings of life, where alone we can find waters, which can quench our thirst for life, and it is only when we have tasted this water that we would stop looking for wells, which cannot quench our thirst and yet the world may present them as the most viable alternatives. Here we take the first step, in understanding that we need water to drink!

The Wooden Cross

The Cross that Jesus carried to Calvary and died on, has become the symbol of Christianity, and today it is also the symbol of triumph, victory over death. The two piece wooden frame which had been looked down upon with so much of contempt has suddenly become so very different, thanks to Jesus. What did Jesus do to the wooden frame to transform it altogether? Has anything changed in the wooden frame that made it appear very different from what it was before it was placed on the broken shoulders of Jesus? Another associated question that we could ask is: has something happened to the wood or to Jesus, or to us who look at with different eyes and perspectives today?

I would believe that the wooden frame remained exactly the same, as it had been for all centuries, and Jesus would not have desired to give a new dimension to the commonplace wood either. Looking at Jesus as a human person, going forward to embrace the rough and hard cross makes him truly the Savior and Lord. As the son of a carpenter, Jesus would have known for sure all about the wooden frame, of what tree it is, the height and the weight. As he stretches out his hand to draw it close to his shoulders, he recognizes an unknown familiarity with the wood, a familiarity which had taken him to the Garden of Eden peopled with trees of all sorts, and the special tree of knowledge which stood in the middle.

What is this familiarity between Jesus and the wooden cross? We all know that it is through the cross that Jesus would save the world. Every Jew and Roman would dread the very word, the Cross! How did the cross become so easy for Jesus to accept, especially knowing well that he would be subjected to the death of a hardcore criminal? Was there some magic hidden behind the wood which the Jewish religious leaders failed to take cognizant of? There is no hesitation on the part of Jesus, he seem to be longing to embrace it. The cross is sanctified by the touch of the master craftsman, who in his lifetime might have made several crosses, but this time however not made with a chisel, but with his body and blood.

The wooden frame which had taken years to harden and toughen, seeing several winters and summers is now ready to give space to the God of creation to lay down his head. The tree would have never thought it would receive such a honor. As the creation of the creator, it is only too happy to allow the Lord to sanctify its fibers. The seasoned wood is prepared to present to the Lord its best qualities, even as the hard hearted soldiers pierce the hands and feet of the Master with the wood. The juice of the wood which had preserved a part of it all these years, today mingle with the blood of the Savior, to ease his pain as he goes through untold pain and agony.

If only I were a lifeless wooden frame, it would have been my great honor and privilege to behold the Lord and receive his touch, which alone is enough to transform my life. The lady suffering from hemorrhage received instant healing when she dared to touch the fringe of his garment, and how much more would it be a wonderful experience for me, when the Lord would rest on my frail frame! This is the only thing that any tree can long for! The lifeless tree would then be honored to behold the Savior rather than the more privileged people who stood at the foot of the Cross!

Ecce Homo

Pilate in the gospels is portrayed as heartless and opportunist who did not mind saving his own skin at the expense of letting an innocent man die on the cross. But it would be injustice if we branded him heartless, just because he understood Jesus was innocent, and it may be hard for us to fathom the inner conflict he was going through to the extent he wanted to escape from condemning Jesus to death. His washing the hands as a mark of disowning the guilt of spilling innocent blood speaks volumes about the man that Pilate was.

But I would like to see in the man, who found Jesus as an excellent pawn to settle scores with Caesar and with Jesus, another quality which stands out in the episode of Jesus’ condemnation. The governor was able to see in Jesus, the perfect image of humanity. His pithy words to describe Jesus as “homo” (man in Latin) have opened up several layers of interpretation. The Son of God and Son of Man now stands before Pilate and the Roman soldiers as a man with no additional attributes, and Jesus is quite comfortable with the situation.

Ecce Homo – behold the man! Every person born in the world is an incomplete product of God’s creativity. There is no one who is the fullness of humanity, endowed and lavished upon him/her. Jesus is an exception. In him we see all the human aspirations finding fulfillment. We try our best to move towards the fulfillment, but without success, to be human, wholly and utterly, is no mean thing, this may be the hardest thing for us, to strip ourselves naked and find ourselves enrobed with the clouds and limitless oceans. That is the marvel of being truly human, and who else could be the perfect human person, but Jesus.

Jesus does not seem to dislike his identity as a man to the least. If he were in a lighter mood, he might have asked Pilate, how he managed to recognize him. The perfect man, who had come to throw the mantle of honor and majesty on the fallen humanity is silently acknowledging his role as the perfect man, and Pilate was just presenting this man to us to emulate, when he said, Ecce Homo. I look at the man with a crown of thorns and a purple robe. This is the man who resembles the first of God’s creation, Adam; it is in him that I can find my perfect resemblance, image and likeness of God.

As I behold the ‘new’ king, who is bleeding, and bearing the violence the world had inflicted on him, and look at my body, which has the potentiality to bear his own likeness. And still how far am I from his nature and intent? Today I too need to be scourged and bear the crown of thorns on my head, and the purple robe on my bleeding body, to bear the likeness of the ‘man’ who is prepared to bridge the gap between the heaven and the earth. Here is an invitation for me to become truly human, for that is where I can encounter my true identity, with the God who had become a man like me!

Keeping Awake

Jesus’ earnest appeal to his beloved disciples to “Remain here and keep watch with me” (Mt 26:38/41) fell on deaf ears. They were perhaps too exhausted, not only physically but also psychologically, especially after the Last Supper, where Jesus foretold the fate that awaited him. I leave it to biblical scholars to provide an exegesis of the text, but I found the quoted words have a lot to whisper in my ears, even after two centuries. I would like to paraphrase the words of Jesus as “keep awake with me”; in fact, that is precisely the meaning of the quoted phrase. Jesus invited his disciples, who were too exhausted to keep awake.

How hard and challenging is it to keep awake, especially when we know that everyone else is fast asleep; it is hard to keep awake when the body is too frail and weak (the flesh is weak, to quote Jesus, Mt 26:41), and is too exhausted. It is a challenge to keep awake when we find no ray of hope in the distant future. Jesus however seems to be pleading with the disciples precisely because he needed them close to him, when he himself was going through excruciating pain and agony in the garden. The disciples perhaps could not understand what their master was going through and could have assessed the situation too lightly.

Looking at the words of Jesus from a psychological point of view, it is so comfortable to fall asleep, so that we need not face the harsh reality. The ostrich is said to sink its head inside a mound of sand and imagine the whole world to be in dark. We would like to live in our worlds of make belief, where everything revolves round our own interests, needs and demands. The harsh reality that we may have to witness could be something too cruel and harsh for me to witness, and therefore there is a lot more consolation in either closing our eyes, or at least pretending to be fully in sleep.

Jesus does not mind doing the unpleasant job, even if others might laugh at him. Perhaps on other occasions, the disciples managed to keep awake, but now Jesus finds them drawn by the magic spell of the Lotus Eaters. It is possible that Jesus invites the disciples to keep their eyes open and recognize what was happening in front of their very eyes. It may appear that the disciples were refrained from recognizing Jesus as the weak and frail human person, their eyes as if blinded, because they could not see the Messiah sweating blood.

To be awake, psychologically, is a big challenge today. We live in a world where to be awake is to invite trouble, because the world would want everyone to be asleep, or at least pretend to be asleep, so that they do not see, hear, feel, and touch the reality looming before them. To be insensitive to human pain, suffering and misery is considered a virtue, lest we be drawn into an endless questioning and challenging the worldly forces. It is here that we hear the call of Jesus to keep awake with him!

Love and Service

There is an inextricable relationship between love and service, each one mutually supporting the other. Only love can give birth to genuine service, and therefore genuine service to humanity at large is nothing but an embodiment of true love. Service sans love is a mere selfish motive, not targeting at the wellbeing of the other, but oneself. Love and service are oriented towards enriching the other, even at the expense of causing damage and decay to oneself. This is so beautifully exemplified in the celebration of Maundy Thursday.

Tony D’Mello in his collection of anecdotes entitled, The Prayer of the Frog (Vol. 1) narrates this moving illustration. There is this soldier who is pleading with his boss, so that he could return to the battlefront to look for his friend. The boss assures that the friend might have been dead by now, and that the soldier should not risk his life. The soldier goes all the same, and returns after an hour mortally wounded, and carrying the corpse of his friend on his shoulder. The angry boss tells him, I had told you he was dead; was it all worth going out there to bring a corpse? The soldier replied, Oh, it was, Sir! When I got to him, he was alive. And he said to me before dying, Jack, I was sure you would come!

Where there is true love, we don’t mind taking any amount of trouble, risk. The wellbeing of the self is only secondary before that of the other. It is not easy to suffer for the one we love, but ultimately it is this which brings us true happiness. Look at the little five year old Johny who is informed that he has to give blood for his little sister. He is troubled at first and agrees. The next day when the transfusion is done, Johnny looks at his father with tears in his eyes and tells him, Daddy, tell me when I should die! Maybe for youngsters it comes so naturally. Small kids may go through any amount of pain and suffering to release a dog or a cat.

We learn best by seeing, not merely by hearing. That is the reason why Jesus demonstrates what service is all about. It is to climb down from our pedestals, and don the attire of the servant, and kneel down to wash the feet of those of our neighbors, whom we despise and neglect. This is no easy test. This in fact is the perfect test of all of his disciples – washing the feet is merely a symbol, what is more important is to place ourselves at the bottom of the ladder and accept it joyfully to serve those above us. Jesus is setting a model for us all.

Maundy Thursday recalls the sacrificing love of the Lord, who is prepared to lay down his life, so that humanity may have life in its fullness. Life does not come by itself. It has to be parted, shared and received. The example of the grain of wheat which can have life only when it dies, is so very applicable to Jesus and that is what he is inviting us to ‘do this in memory of me’ – to break ourselves and to shed our blood so that we may share in his new life!

Worthy Treasure

Sometimes I feel guilty on how I had been neglecting one of the greatest treasures lying uncared in my cupboard – The Holy Bible! As a Catholic, I have a tendency to take it for granted, and seldom turn to it for the much needed counsel, especially when I am frantically looking for a solution to problems which are hard to find. All I ever needed to do was open its pages and follow what I find therein. Familiarity breeds contempt, and that seems to fit perfectly to the way I had been handling the Word of God. I have heard stories of how people who had turned over a new leaf because of the life-giving words, but what have I done about it?

Every time now I turn the pages and read the words reverently, I know the words seem to have been addressed to me. Lovely life stories of virtuous and wicked narrated to me by a loving Father or Grand Mother to teach me the great cherished values; principles and precepts which can show me light in the midst of darkness, words of caution and admonition, when I let the reigns of life free without any control. The Holy Bible is capable of doing in my life a lot more than I can imagine or hope for.

Centuries of wisdom squeezed out and presented to me in a platter, and it is for me to take it or refuse it. If I have a deadly malady and know for sure a remedy, and when I am offered, could I refuse it? Mere knowledge of a remedy is not going to cure me from the malady, I need to accept the remedy and swallow the pill, which may be sweet or sour or bitter. The Word of God is not sweet all through; sometimes I know it is sure to probe deep into my soul, and many a secret thought may come out as a result, but that is part of the process of purification.

I am beginning to take seriously the role and function the Holy Bible plays in my life. I have begun to carry it when I am out, so that I would not need to fear anything, I could be sure that no evil would befall me. I am confident that “He” is there always at my side, and I have nothing to fear. I may never be able to sling biblical verses one after another, or give an exegesis of paragraphs lucidly and intelligently, but I know it is sure to touch my heart and affect me at sometime or other.

This is no magic book for me, where I would get what I am looking for, and relegate it to the cupboards after my work is done; I would like to take the Holy Bible as my talisman, which is there always with me, whether I am healthy or sick, whether it is sunny or raining, whether I am happy or sad. I can hear the words of the loving Father beckoning me, anytime I open its pages. What greater treasure could I desire then?

Timely Treat

We are living in a busy world, where the most commonly heard comment from people, when asked for a favor is, ‘I don’t have time!’ But behind these innocuous words is there a philosophy and way of life which is so typical of our times, and may even prove to be a danger signal. Are we so preoccupied with so many things in life, that we find it impossible to look into some of the ‘essentials’ of life? Do we really find it impossible to squeeze in a few minutes to be with our dear ones? I tend to believe that ‘I don’t have time’ is merely an excuse to say ‘I don’t care for you!’ It is an escape route, we often wish to take, and quite many can easily see through what we mean!

Tony D’Mello in The Prayer of the Frog (Vol. 1) has two tiny anecdotes to illustrate what we mean when we say ‘I don’t have time’! The first anecdote talks about a monk who had invited the governor for meditation to his hut, but the governor had been postponing the visit because he did not get time. So one day the monk confronted the governor and said, ‘You put me in mind of a man walking blind folded into a jungle, and too busy to take the blindfold off!’ If we care to take a close look at what we are busy with from morning till evening each day, we will realize that not all of them are of top priority.

Without realizing we might often be spending (or say wasting) so much of our time with things which are not so important. This also refers to our priorities, which are the one’s which take most of our time – our personal wellbeing or that of others, or both others and me. If the governor understood that attending a meditation would benefit him far more than getting involved with mere administrative routine works, he would have given priority to attending the meditation practice with the monk. Considering our top priorities honestly may open our eyes to assess where our hearts lie.

The second anecdote that D’Mello describes is this: There was an exhausted woodcutter, who kept wasting time and energy chopping wood with a blunt axe because he did not have the time, he said, to stop and sharpen the blade! This is precisely what we are most often preoccupied with. It is said that if a wise man has ten hours to chop wood, he would sharpen his axe for eight hours. To think that nay serious preparation or setting our priorities is a waste of time would only put us at the back bench.

The most important point therefore is to know our priorities, to know which one is of primary importance. Next time before I tell someone I don’t have time, I need to give a serious thought to where I am, and where I want to go. For the one who is open to learn from life’s experience, there is always time, and escapists and late-comers will always find it convenient to say ‘I don’t have time’, and thus escape or exit from life’ challenges.

Sluggish Slave

I heard a sad story about one of our domestic staff, who has been temporarily entrusted with the job of a receptionist and phone attendant. Looking at him, any one would think that he should be either an alcoholic or a drug addict. Such is the look, and yet one would notice him attending the Holy Mass at six o’clock in the morning. Is he excessively pious, just to impress the Fathers and Brothers? I would not think so, because for a man in his forties, such a thing might not occur in the mind. But what I heard from the Brother in charge of him made me think about what this man could be heading towards. To begin with, he is living alone presently, and was married some years ago, and his wife deserted him unable to cope with his temperaments and behavioral pattern, and now he is earning a living here in our house and is managing life by himself. But what could be wrong with him?

One of the reasons for the breakdown of his marriage is probably because he is an alcoholic, who would spend most of his earnings in alcohol, and now that there is no one who would control him, and say not to his drinking habits, he is quite happy. When the Brother in charge refused to give him all the money from his wages, and withheld five hundred rupees for saving, he was not much enthused. He had spent all the money he received at the beginning of the month, and in two weeks be approached the Brother asking for an advance from his wages. It is impossible for drunkards to organize their lives, and think of saving something for future. He lives every day and does not care to think about tomorrow, and if some emergency were to take place, he might be driven to the streets, and there is no doubt about it. Anyone who tries to help him put an order in his life is looked upon as an unwanted intrusion, and in such a situation, his future is bleak.

The gentleman should be happy to get a job, where at least he is sure to get his three meals assured, and if he would behave well, he might get employed on a more serious basis, and may even be taken as a contract employee and therefore might get additional benefits. But who would make him understand that he is only lucky to come to our house and work under the watchful but helpful care of Brother. If there was someone else, he would have been only too happy about the job, however mean and insignificant that is. One of his tendencies which annoy the people, who are responsible for him, is his constant attempt to threaten them that he would not continue in the job too long; poor man, he does not realize that there are other people who are ready to take his job, even if it is only for a few days. Ultimately he would be the one who would suffer due to his stupidity.

Opportunities knock at our doors but only once; now that this gentleman had been threatening us of stopping coming for work, from tomorrow someone else has been arranged, and the Brother in charge is going to tell him not to come for work for the next 10 days, which means there is no guarantee that he would get a job somewhere else where he could earn enough money to have his three meals a day. But that is what is so very typical of drunkards, who only look at the immediate future and fail to see what is ahead of them. If only he was level-headed he would make compromises with the Brother in charge to retain the job, and once he is comfortable with it, he could have pleaded with them to provide him with additional facilities. No one can predict what the slaves of alcoholism would do next, and that is why his life is being drifted each day, and for how long it would continue, no one can say.

He is one who refuses to learn from life; the very fact that his wife could not live with him is ample proof that he needed to do something to keep his marriage intact; instead he is blissfully happy with his life alone, and does not even bother to get her back. Perhaps if his wife had been with him, there are chances that she might be able to turn his mind to something else, and slowly bring him back to his consciousness. The love and affection of women has immense potentiality to change even the hardest of nuts among men; however it would be impossible for women to take risk on their lives and come forward to live with such men, who may not even care to feed them once a day. I feel sad for him, and for his wife (if she is still waiting for him to turn a new leaf and invite her back home), but what could I do, but only wish he stops his alcoholism and take life seriously.

Fatalistic Favorites

Nepotism and favoritism seem to be close to the hearts of anyone who matters in our political, social and cultural circles. Maybe the great and mighty feel all alone to occupy high chairs, and would want their near and dear ones to stay close to them. I come to see nepotism and favoritism taking place all around me; in some cases, it takes place surreptitiously, and in some other cases it happens openly. We have seen some families ruling the nation from one generation to another, and the whole nation watching the fun silently and even supporting the family to last longer, even after the ties are slowly severing. Every big politician would want his son or daughter to succeed him or her in the public platform, even when the youngster does not qualify to be there; but that does not stop them, because they have the blessing and the unabashed backing of their parents to draw them to the center stage.

We all have our own favorites, and under certain circumstances, we may not be able to bring in our relatives and family members to be hanging around us, but to have favorites nearby all the time is quite common. Who does not like the people they love and appreciate all the time around? We all have our favorites, and want to be of help to them whether they need them or not. If we are in a position to provide favors to them, we do not even think of consulting them before we order these favors done to them, and this charity even at the cost of bending the laws of the land or causing loss to the exchequer. I feel terrible when I come across cases where favoritism has caused so much of loss to institutions, and it is always a hard task to point out to people that favoritism should not be encouraged.

To drop the people we like from being kicked out of our sight is something that we cannot tolerate, and favoritism assures their presence around us all the time. One might question my arguments and tell me, why should I have a problem with the people who are well qualified to occupy a position in the institution? If people qualify to occupy an official position, then there is no question of favoritism, because they have been absorbed into the institution not because of their link with the big boss, but because of his qualifications. If people are absorbed without possessing required qualifications, then the institution is sure to become inefficient and unprofessional. The boss then might spend more time with his relative than with the institution.

Wherever I had been, I could see some of the persons who have certain power and authority in the institution favoring certain persons, and even keeping them close to them, hoping they would help the institution. It did not take me too long to realize that favoritism breeds contempt in an institution, and outsiders would be able to smell something stinking too soon. An emotional involvement among the favorites and the head of the staff can adversely affect the atmosphere, and it may even lead to a lopsided decision-making at the management level. But who cares about the institution so long they are kept in good humor, and get the special treatment from their favorites; it could be occasional dinners at home, or at select hotels, or special programs outside the city, and there is no limit to the kind of favors the favorites would do to get them promoted to a higher level.

I am quite convinced that the family, relatives, friends and close associates should be kept at safe distance from the institutions, or else there is bound to be pulls and pushes affecting the persons involved with them. As head of an institution, my concern should be the welfare of the people associated with the institution and the reputation that the institution has enjoyed in the past. I cannot defame an institution overnight. The nation is going through series of examples of what favoritism and nepotism could do to a nation. I am referring to the 2G scam, with the former Telecom minister Raja and his associates swindling the nation’s exchequer and filling the coffers of their own kith and kin. We need to be careful that history does not repeat itself.

Fathoming Failures

If failures in life were to be the yardstick to assess our human worth, then there would be no human person left on earth; perhaps the animals and plants would be much better off in that case. We know that everyone encounters failures at some stage or other, and I would be bold enough to say that not a single human person is there, who has never encountered failures in life. We could say that failures are our second nature, and it is only because of our failures that we can bow down our heads before God, nature and circumstances and acknowledge our limitations. Every time I fail to accomplish something, I feel bad, and sometimes the failures put me off, and I regret for not doing my best for the work assigned, and when people cannot face failures, they go to the extent of ending their lives. Every time results in schools are announced, there would be at least a couple of cases of suicides of students.

When my friend told me that she had not got through one of the two examinations she had appeared for, I was not disturbed. From her voice I could make out that she was disturbed by the results, and she even said that it would take her a couple of days to get over the feeling. Serious people would often find it hard to accept failure, especially if they had given their best for a work and at the end to face failure is unthinkable. Such people think that failure indicates that all their labour has gone in vain, and it was a futile job that they had spent so much of their time and energy. But we do know that there are areas where success does not depend on our ability or intelligence alone; there are other factors which are responsible for getting through in life. Therefore we need to look at failures at the proper perspective.

How much of responsibility could we take up for the failures that we encounter in life? There is no magical formula with which we could measure the rate of our responsibility; it all depends on how much of the work depended ourselves per se. For instance, to get through the examination, mere intelligence is not enough; we would hope that one is able to write well in the examinations; feeling sick on the day of exam may be enough to produce bad results. Then we would hope that the answer script lands an examiner who is in his proper disposition to look at the paper objectively. If he or she had a fight at home in the morning, then the reaction of that anger might be reflected on the answer scripts. Then we would hope that the addition of the marks is done accurately and that there is no addition mistake, and lastly that the persons reproducing the marks on the final list do the good job and don’t change the figures. All these are responsible for our success.

Even if there had been a loophole in the entire process, then our success could be jeopardized. Therefore it is proper to take failures with a pinch of salt. There are external pressures which control our success; psycho-social and cultural context also contribute their own mite towards our success. My purpose is not so much to justify the failure that my friend had to face, but to look at success and failure with as much objectivity as possible. I had known that she was not in a proper frame of mind when she went to write the examination, and had even told me how she felt while writing the exam, and therefore I could not blame for failing in one exam. Blaming her for the failure could only cripple her self-confidence and usher in more failure.

How are we to look at failures in life? Failures in life cannot be taken as the failure of the person; we need to dissociate failures from the persons. Failures, we are told, are stepping stones to grow and forge ahead, and they could also become the proper motivation to excel and go beyond the expected standards. They could serve as the spark of flame which could explore the volcanoes of creativity and originality. If a school dropout could build an empire of software companies (I am referring to Bill Gates of Microsoft), and another school dropout who finished his schooling at the age of 13, could give the world the consciousness on the present moment (I am talking about Eckhart Tolle, who had revolutionized the world with his ‘The Power of Now’), we all of us can make something worthwhile out of our failures. The only precondition in the process is that we do not turn back, but fix our eyes on the goals set ahead and march forward.

Displaced Depression

No one in our office could believe that he would have mental derailment; he had always been a soft spoken and quiet man, who spoke very little, and that too only with the people whom he considered trust worthy. It came as a rude shock to our staff, when he confided with one of them that he was frightened of the police, of the evil-intentioned people hiding from somewhere close by waiting to attack him. He was terribly frightened and nothing would stop him from believing that he was just imagining all these things and there was not an iota of truth in what he spoke. But he was convinced that he was speaking truth, and every time the telephone rang, he thought that his rivals were enquiring about him, and that made him all the more nervous. He even asked a few of our staff if he could stay with them and not return to his home, and it took them sometime before they could make him return to his home.

It was only today that I came to know that he had been quite upset with the family matters, especially his mother supporting her younger son, and opposing whatever this gentleman did. The younger brother had been trying to usurp the parental property, and therefore had blamed him of having a relationship with the wife of his elder brother. Everyone knows for sure that he is not the kind of person who would entertain anything of that sort. He said that he occasionally call up his sister in law, only out of courtesy, and would just enquire how she was and nothing more. His younger brother made use of this issue to blackmail him and now he is mentally disturbed, a situation he is happy about, so that he could grab the property for himself.

I was feeling sad for our staff, because he is a quiet person, who is guileless and would not think evil for anyone. It is hard to believe when bad things happen to good people, and unfortunately that seems to be the law of the land. Good people suffer far more than evil intentioned people, and it would often appear that this is the accepted norm and we have nothing to grumble about. What could we do to our staff to bring him back to his healthy self? He has already gone to the hospital and had consulted doctors, who have given him medication, and hopefully after some days he will be able to come to his healthy self, provided he is allowed to live peacefully without attempts to sabotage his mind and peace. But it is doubtful if his younger brother would allow him to leave peacefully, at least till he succeeds in grabbing the property.

The world has seen lots of bloodshed due to greed for parental property; it is easy for lazy people to depend on what the parents have augured through their hard labour, and not giving a try to put their best to earn more. Truly honest and hardworking people would not depend on parental property, but would try to get something out of their sheer hard work, and this is the kind of wealth and property which will last. All those who rely only on the parental property may one day find themselves paupers, because they only learn to rely on what others had given to them, and such people may leave hardly anything for their offspring. Even if it hard to manage daily living with the earning, if people make it a point to stand on their own feet, lots of lives could be saved, and the greedy would have time to mend their ways.

It is hard to say what would happen to our staff in the next weeks and months; it is hard to predict how his younger brother would take it, when he comes to know that his elder brother was getting back to normal, and that might foil his evil designs to get his share of property. There is very little that we could do to help him limp back to normalcy, but some of our staff call him up now and them assuring him of our support, and that is what we could do. We would not like to sit in the seats of judgment to condemn the evil designs of his mother and younger brother; it is not for us to judge their actions, because we know very little about objective truth, and even if we know for sure that they had deliberately tried to cheat our staff, and still we cannot condemn them on the basis of what we know. Judgment is not for us, but to support the suffering and troubled hearts is what we could do to ease those who long for fresh air.

Presence

As I was preparing to go to sleep, I could get the smell of incence, and I just looked through my windows to the pavement, next to our gate, and I could see a few men and women sitting silently near the senior lady who had lost her husband. Occasionally I could hear the crying of women, but for the most part there was absolute silence. And that was the scene when I woke up too. There were some ten to fifteen men and women around the senior lady, and there was no talking, but only empathetic silence. I was wondering what a wonderful way of expressing their empathy for the bereaved family, which perhaps had nothing to offer to the relatives and well-wishers who might have come from far, not even a cup of tea, but they did not seem to mind it.

Death is a moment when life seems to be taking the cruelest form of revenge on humanity. We cannot resist when death knocks at our doors, but be prepared to open wide the doors and let the angel of death lead our dear ones across the shore. The pain and agony that people go through at the death of a senior person, one who has lived the ripe old age, and was making space for the younger ones, is relatively much less in comparison to the young persons who die at the prime of their life, or still worse children dying a premature death. Whatever be our complaints and allegations against the gods, we have no way of undoing what has been predestined. The best that we could offer is to stand by those who have been robbed of their breadwinners, their main support and their sustenance.

It was hard for me to go through the loss of the dear ones, when a close friend of mine lost her father, just in his early fifties. He had his two unmarried daughters, and a son who was barely 10 years old. No one ever thought that he would leave the world so soon; they were not even prepared to believe that he was no more. My friend had lost her loving father, who had supported her all through, even when her mother would scorn and inflict pains on her. I felt there was very little that I could do, but the next moment I realized for the people who are devastated, any little help given them is great; they did not even have the strength and stamina to organize a vehicle to take the body to Bangalore from Chennai where the death took place in a hospital. I stayed with them for four days to provide the much needed consolation for them.

In a tribal society, death in a family is sequel to death in the whole village; all celebrations are cancelled until the impurity is purged; often it could take about one month to forty days. This is another way of showing solidarity and sympathy for the bereaved family. The village community stands with the family which has lost some one, and everyone gathers to bid the final goodbye for the person. It is a wonderful gesture that the young and old gather round the dead person, and when the bone-drowning ceremony (bhandan) is to take place, the villagers offer the favorites of the dead person, including eatables, beeri, cigarette and anything that could be useful for them. I had seen the same thing happening among the burial ceremony of the mainstream society too. Another way of expressing solidarity.

To get back to the Muslim family which had lost the senior member of the family, there is no cooking in the family and it was quite obvious that all the members had been keeping awake all through the night, and when it was morning, I could see some of the ladies lying near our Church; they were all fatigued and still they kept vigil, with the family of the dead person, and I don’t know how long this will continue. There is very little conversation between them, but all the men and women seem to vibrate with one another. Even in their utmost poverty and privation, they seemed to have plenty to offer to the people very much in need of their silent presence by their side. In a world that is being torn apart on the basis of color, caste and creed, the loving presence of neighbors and relatives is soothing for the heavy hearts.