The Wooden Cross

The Cross that Jesus carried to Calvary and died on, has become the symbol of Christianity, and today it is also the symbol of triumph, victory over death. The two piece wooden frame which had been looked down upon with so much of contempt has suddenly become so very different, thanks to Jesus. What did Jesus do to the wooden frame to transform it altogether? Has anything changed in the wooden frame that made it appear very different from what it was before it was placed on the broken shoulders of Jesus? Another associated question that we could ask is: has something happened to the wood or to Jesus, or to us who look at with different eyes and perspectives today?

I would believe that the wooden frame remained exactly the same, as it had been for all centuries, and Jesus would not have desired to give a new dimension to the commonplace wood either. Looking at Jesus as a human person, going forward to embrace the rough and hard cross makes him truly the Savior and Lord. As the son of a carpenter, Jesus would have known for sure all about the wooden frame, of what tree it is, the height and the weight. As he stretches out his hand to draw it close to his shoulders, he recognizes an unknown familiarity with the wood, a familiarity which had taken him to the Garden of Eden peopled with trees of all sorts, and the special tree of knowledge which stood in the middle.

What is this familiarity between Jesus and the wooden cross? We all know that it is through the cross that Jesus would save the world. Every Jew and Roman would dread the very word, the Cross! How did the cross become so easy for Jesus to accept, especially knowing well that he would be subjected to the death of a hardcore criminal? Was there some magic hidden behind the wood which the Jewish religious leaders failed to take cognizant of? There is no hesitation on the part of Jesus, he seem to be longing to embrace it. The cross is sanctified by the touch of the master craftsman, who in his lifetime might have made several crosses, but this time however not made with a chisel, but with his body and blood.

The wooden frame which had taken years to harden and toughen, seeing several winters and summers is now ready to give space to the God of creation to lay down his head. The tree would have never thought it would receive such a honor. As the creation of the creator, it is only too happy to allow the Lord to sanctify its fibers. The seasoned wood is prepared to present to the Lord its best qualities, even as the hard hearted soldiers pierce the hands and feet of the Master with the wood. The juice of the wood which had preserved a part of it all these years, today mingle with the blood of the Savior, to ease his pain as he goes through untold pain and agony.

If only I were a lifeless wooden frame, it would have been my great honor and privilege to behold the Lord and receive his touch, which alone is enough to transform my life. The lady suffering from hemorrhage received instant healing when she dared to touch the fringe of his garment, and how much more would it be a wonderful experience for me, when the Lord would rest on my frail frame! This is the only thing that any tree can long for! The lifeless tree would then be honored to behold the Savior rather than the more privileged people who stood at the foot of the Cross!

Ecce Homo

Pilate in the gospels is portrayed as heartless and opportunist who did not mind saving his own skin at the expense of letting an innocent man die on the cross. But it would be injustice if we branded him heartless, just because he understood Jesus was innocent, and it may be hard for us to fathom the inner conflict he was going through to the extent he wanted to escape from condemning Jesus to death. His washing the hands as a mark of disowning the guilt of spilling innocent blood speaks volumes about the man that Pilate was.

But I would like to see in the man, who found Jesus as an excellent pawn to settle scores with Caesar and with Jesus, another quality which stands out in the episode of Jesus’ condemnation. The governor was able to see in Jesus, the perfect image of humanity. His pithy words to describe Jesus as “homo” (man in Latin) have opened up several layers of interpretation. The Son of God and Son of Man now stands before Pilate and the Roman soldiers as a man with no additional attributes, and Jesus is quite comfortable with the situation.

Ecce Homo – behold the man! Every person born in the world is an incomplete product of God’s creativity. There is no one who is the fullness of humanity, endowed and lavished upon him/her. Jesus is an exception. In him we see all the human aspirations finding fulfillment. We try our best to move towards the fulfillment, but without success, to be human, wholly and utterly, is no mean thing, this may be the hardest thing for us, to strip ourselves naked and find ourselves enrobed with the clouds and limitless oceans. That is the marvel of being truly human, and who else could be the perfect human person, but Jesus.

Jesus does not seem to dislike his identity as a man to the least. If he were in a lighter mood, he might have asked Pilate, how he managed to recognize him. The perfect man, who had come to throw the mantle of honor and majesty on the fallen humanity is silently acknowledging his role as the perfect man, and Pilate was just presenting this man to us to emulate, when he said, Ecce Homo. I look at the man with a crown of thorns and a purple robe. This is the man who resembles the first of God’s creation, Adam; it is in him that I can find my perfect resemblance, image and likeness of God.

As I behold the ‘new’ king, who is bleeding, and bearing the violence the world had inflicted on him, and look at my body, which has the potentiality to bear his own likeness. And still how far am I from his nature and intent? Today I too need to be scourged and bear the crown of thorns on my head, and the purple robe on my bleeding body, to bear the likeness of the ‘man’ who is prepared to bridge the gap between the heaven and the earth. Here is an invitation for me to become truly human, for that is where I can encounter my true identity, with the God who had become a man like me!

Keeping Awake

Jesus’ earnest appeal to his beloved disciples to “Remain here and keep watch with me” (Mt 26:38/41) fell on deaf ears. They were perhaps too exhausted, not only physically but also psychologically, especially after the Last Supper, where Jesus foretold the fate that awaited him. I leave it to biblical scholars to provide an exegesis of the text, but I found the quoted words have a lot to whisper in my ears, even after two centuries. I would like to paraphrase the words of Jesus as “keep awake with me”; in fact, that is precisely the meaning of the quoted phrase. Jesus invited his disciples, who were too exhausted to keep awake.

How hard and challenging is it to keep awake, especially when we know that everyone else is fast asleep; it is hard to keep awake when the body is too frail and weak (the flesh is weak, to quote Jesus, Mt 26:41), and is too exhausted. It is a challenge to keep awake when we find no ray of hope in the distant future. Jesus however seems to be pleading with the disciples precisely because he needed them close to him, when he himself was going through excruciating pain and agony in the garden. The disciples perhaps could not understand what their master was going through and could have assessed the situation too lightly.

Looking at the words of Jesus from a psychological point of view, it is so comfortable to fall asleep, so that we need not face the harsh reality. The ostrich is said to sink its head inside a mound of sand and imagine the whole world to be in dark. We would like to live in our worlds of make belief, where everything revolves round our own interests, needs and demands. The harsh reality that we may have to witness could be something too cruel and harsh for me to witness, and therefore there is a lot more consolation in either closing our eyes, or at least pretending to be fully in sleep.

Jesus does not mind doing the unpleasant job, even if others might laugh at him. Perhaps on other occasions, the disciples managed to keep awake, but now Jesus finds them drawn by the magic spell of the Lotus Eaters. It is possible that Jesus invites the disciples to keep their eyes open and recognize what was happening in front of their very eyes. It may appear that the disciples were refrained from recognizing Jesus as the weak and frail human person, their eyes as if blinded, because they could not see the Messiah sweating blood.

To be awake, psychologically, is a big challenge today. We live in a world where to be awake is to invite trouble, because the world would want everyone to be asleep, or at least pretend to be asleep, so that they do not see, hear, feel, and touch the reality looming before them. To be insensitive to human pain, suffering and misery is considered a virtue, lest we be drawn into an endless questioning and challenging the worldly forces. It is here that we hear the call of Jesus to keep awake with him!

Love and Service

There is an inextricable relationship between love and service, each one mutually supporting the other. Only love can give birth to genuine service, and therefore genuine service to humanity at large is nothing but an embodiment of true love. Service sans love is a mere selfish motive, not targeting at the wellbeing of the other, but oneself. Love and service are oriented towards enriching the other, even at the expense of causing damage and decay to oneself. This is so beautifully exemplified in the celebration of Maundy Thursday.

Tony D’Mello in his collection of anecdotes entitled, The Prayer of the Frog (Vol. 1) narrates this moving illustration. There is this soldier who is pleading with his boss, so that he could return to the battlefront to look for his friend. The boss assures that the friend might have been dead by now, and that the soldier should not risk his life. The soldier goes all the same, and returns after an hour mortally wounded, and carrying the corpse of his friend on his shoulder. The angry boss tells him, I had told you he was dead; was it all worth going out there to bring a corpse? The soldier replied, Oh, it was, Sir! When I got to him, he was alive. And he said to me before dying, Jack, I was sure you would come!

Where there is true love, we don’t mind taking any amount of trouble, risk. The wellbeing of the self is only secondary before that of the other. It is not easy to suffer for the one we love, but ultimately it is this which brings us true happiness. Look at the little five year old Johny who is informed that he has to give blood for his little sister. He is troubled at first and agrees. The next day when the transfusion is done, Johnny looks at his father with tears in his eyes and tells him, Daddy, tell me when I should die! Maybe for youngsters it comes so naturally. Small kids may go through any amount of pain and suffering to release a dog or a cat.

We learn best by seeing, not merely by hearing. That is the reason why Jesus demonstrates what service is all about. It is to climb down from our pedestals, and don the attire of the servant, and kneel down to wash the feet of those of our neighbors, whom we despise and neglect. This is no easy test. This in fact is the perfect test of all of his disciples – washing the feet is merely a symbol, what is more important is to place ourselves at the bottom of the ladder and accept it joyfully to serve those above us. Jesus is setting a model for us all.

Maundy Thursday recalls the sacrificing love of the Lord, who is prepared to lay down his life, so that humanity may have life in its fullness. Life does not come by itself. It has to be parted, shared and received. The example of the grain of wheat which can have life only when it dies, is so very applicable to Jesus and that is what he is inviting us to ‘do this in memory of me’ – to break ourselves and to shed our blood so that we may share in his new life!

Worthy Treasure

Sometimes I feel guilty on how I had been neglecting one of the greatest treasures lying uncared in my cupboard – The Holy Bible! As a Catholic, I have a tendency to take it for granted, and seldom turn to it for the much needed counsel, especially when I am frantically looking for a solution to problems which are hard to find. All I ever needed to do was open its pages and follow what I find therein. Familiarity breeds contempt, and that seems to fit perfectly to the way I had been handling the Word of God. I have heard stories of how people who had turned over a new leaf because of the life-giving words, but what have I done about it?

Every time now I turn the pages and read the words reverently, I know the words seem to have been addressed to me. Lovely life stories of virtuous and wicked narrated to me by a loving Father or Grand Mother to teach me the great cherished values; principles and precepts which can show me light in the midst of darkness, words of caution and admonition, when I let the reigns of life free without any control. The Holy Bible is capable of doing in my life a lot more than I can imagine or hope for.

Centuries of wisdom squeezed out and presented to me in a platter, and it is for me to take it or refuse it. If I have a deadly malady and know for sure a remedy, and when I am offered, could I refuse it? Mere knowledge of a remedy is not going to cure me from the malady, I need to accept the remedy and swallow the pill, which may be sweet or sour or bitter. The Word of God is not sweet all through; sometimes I know it is sure to probe deep into my soul, and many a secret thought may come out as a result, but that is part of the process of purification.

I am beginning to take seriously the role and function the Holy Bible plays in my life. I have begun to carry it when I am out, so that I would not need to fear anything, I could be sure that no evil would befall me. I am confident that “He” is there always at my side, and I have nothing to fear. I may never be able to sling biblical verses one after another, or give an exegesis of paragraphs lucidly and intelligently, but I know it is sure to touch my heart and affect me at sometime or other.

This is no magic book for me, where I would get what I am looking for, and relegate it to the cupboards after my work is done; I would like to take the Holy Bible as my talisman, which is there always with me, whether I am healthy or sick, whether it is sunny or raining, whether I am happy or sad. I can hear the words of the loving Father beckoning me, anytime I open its pages. What greater treasure could I desire then?

Timely Treat

We are living in a busy world, where the most commonly heard comment from people, when asked for a favor is, ‘I don’t have time!’ But behind these innocuous words is there a philosophy and way of life which is so typical of our times, and may even prove to be a danger signal. Are we so preoccupied with so many things in life, that we find it impossible to look into some of the ‘essentials’ of life? Do we really find it impossible to squeeze in a few minutes to be with our dear ones? I tend to believe that ‘I don’t have time’ is merely an excuse to say ‘I don’t care for you!’ It is an escape route, we often wish to take, and quite many can easily see through what we mean!

Tony D’Mello in The Prayer of the Frog (Vol. 1) has two tiny anecdotes to illustrate what we mean when we say ‘I don’t have time’! The first anecdote talks about a monk who had invited the governor for meditation to his hut, but the governor had been postponing the visit because he did not get time. So one day the monk confronted the governor and said, ‘You put me in mind of a man walking blind folded into a jungle, and too busy to take the blindfold off!’ If we care to take a close look at what we are busy with from morning till evening each day, we will realize that not all of them are of top priority.

Without realizing we might often be spending (or say wasting) so much of our time with things which are not so important. This also refers to our priorities, which are the one’s which take most of our time – our personal wellbeing or that of others, or both others and me. If the governor understood that attending a meditation would benefit him far more than getting involved with mere administrative routine works, he would have given priority to attending the meditation practice with the monk. Considering our top priorities honestly may open our eyes to assess where our hearts lie.

The second anecdote that D’Mello describes is this: There was an exhausted woodcutter, who kept wasting time and energy chopping wood with a blunt axe because he did not have the time, he said, to stop and sharpen the blade! This is precisely what we are most often preoccupied with. It is said that if a wise man has ten hours to chop wood, he would sharpen his axe for eight hours. To think that nay serious preparation or setting our priorities is a waste of time would only put us at the back bench.

The most important point therefore is to know our priorities, to know which one is of primary importance. Next time before I tell someone I don’t have time, I need to give a serious thought to where I am, and where I want to go. For the one who is open to learn from life’s experience, there is always time, and escapists and late-comers will always find it convenient to say ‘I don’t have time’, and thus escape or exit from life’ challenges.

Sluggish Slave

I heard a sad story about one of our domestic staff, who has been temporarily entrusted with the job of a receptionist and phone attendant. Looking at him, any one would think that he should be either an alcoholic or a drug addict. Such is the look, and yet one would notice him attending the Holy Mass at six o’clock in the morning. Is he excessively pious, just to impress the Fathers and Brothers? I would not think so, because for a man in his forties, such a thing might not occur in the mind. But what I heard from the Brother in charge of him made me think about what this man could be heading towards. To begin with, he is living alone presently, and was married some years ago, and his wife deserted him unable to cope with his temperaments and behavioral pattern, and now he is earning a living here in our house and is managing life by himself. But what could be wrong with him?

One of the reasons for the breakdown of his marriage is probably because he is an alcoholic, who would spend most of his earnings in alcohol, and now that there is no one who would control him, and say not to his drinking habits, he is quite happy. When the Brother in charge refused to give him all the money from his wages, and withheld five hundred rupees for saving, he was not much enthused. He had spent all the money he received at the beginning of the month, and in two weeks be approached the Brother asking for an advance from his wages. It is impossible for drunkards to organize their lives, and think of saving something for future. He lives every day and does not care to think about tomorrow, and if some emergency were to take place, he might be driven to the streets, and there is no doubt about it. Anyone who tries to help him put an order in his life is looked upon as an unwanted intrusion, and in such a situation, his future is bleak.

The gentleman should be happy to get a job, where at least he is sure to get his three meals assured, and if he would behave well, he might get employed on a more serious basis, and may even be taken as a contract employee and therefore might get additional benefits. But who would make him understand that he is only lucky to come to our house and work under the watchful but helpful care of Brother. If there was someone else, he would have been only too happy about the job, however mean and insignificant that is. One of his tendencies which annoy the people, who are responsible for him, is his constant attempt to threaten them that he would not continue in the job too long; poor man, he does not realize that there are other people who are ready to take his job, even if it is only for a few days. Ultimately he would be the one who would suffer due to his stupidity.

Opportunities knock at our doors but only once; now that this gentleman had been threatening us of stopping coming for work, from tomorrow someone else has been arranged, and the Brother in charge is going to tell him not to come for work for the next 10 days, which means there is no guarantee that he would get a job somewhere else where he could earn enough money to have his three meals a day. But that is what is so very typical of drunkards, who only look at the immediate future and fail to see what is ahead of them. If only he was level-headed he would make compromises with the Brother in charge to retain the job, and once he is comfortable with it, he could have pleaded with them to provide him with additional facilities. No one can predict what the slaves of alcoholism would do next, and that is why his life is being drifted each day, and for how long it would continue, no one can say.

He is one who refuses to learn from life; the very fact that his wife could not live with him is ample proof that he needed to do something to keep his marriage intact; instead he is blissfully happy with his life alone, and does not even bother to get her back. Perhaps if his wife had been with him, there are chances that she might be able to turn his mind to something else, and slowly bring him back to his consciousness. The love and affection of women has immense potentiality to change even the hardest of nuts among men; however it would be impossible for women to take risk on their lives and come forward to live with such men, who may not even care to feed them once a day. I feel sad for him, and for his wife (if she is still waiting for him to turn a new leaf and invite her back home), but what could I do, but only wish he stops his alcoholism and take life seriously.

Fatalistic Favorites

Nepotism and favoritism seem to be close to the hearts of anyone who matters in our political, social and cultural circles. Maybe the great and mighty feel all alone to occupy high chairs, and would want their near and dear ones to stay close to them. I come to see nepotism and favoritism taking place all around me; in some cases, it takes place surreptitiously, and in some other cases it happens openly. We have seen some families ruling the nation from one generation to another, and the whole nation watching the fun silently and even supporting the family to last longer, even after the ties are slowly severing. Every big politician would want his son or daughter to succeed him or her in the public platform, even when the youngster does not qualify to be there; but that does not stop them, because they have the blessing and the unabashed backing of their parents to draw them to the center stage.

We all have our own favorites, and under certain circumstances, we may not be able to bring in our relatives and family members to be hanging around us, but to have favorites nearby all the time is quite common. Who does not like the people they love and appreciate all the time around? We all have our favorites, and want to be of help to them whether they need them or not. If we are in a position to provide favors to them, we do not even think of consulting them before we order these favors done to them, and this charity even at the cost of bending the laws of the land or causing loss to the exchequer. I feel terrible when I come across cases where favoritism has caused so much of loss to institutions, and it is always a hard task to point out to people that favoritism should not be encouraged.

To drop the people we like from being kicked out of our sight is something that we cannot tolerate, and favoritism assures their presence around us all the time. One might question my arguments and tell me, why should I have a problem with the people who are well qualified to occupy a position in the institution? If people qualify to occupy an official position, then there is no question of favoritism, because they have been absorbed into the institution not because of their link with the big boss, but because of his qualifications. If people are absorbed without possessing required qualifications, then the institution is sure to become inefficient and unprofessional. The boss then might spend more time with his relative than with the institution.

Wherever I had been, I could see some of the persons who have certain power and authority in the institution favoring certain persons, and even keeping them close to them, hoping they would help the institution. It did not take me too long to realize that favoritism breeds contempt in an institution, and outsiders would be able to smell something stinking too soon. An emotional involvement among the favorites and the head of the staff can adversely affect the atmosphere, and it may even lead to a lopsided decision-making at the management level. But who cares about the institution so long they are kept in good humor, and get the special treatment from their favorites; it could be occasional dinners at home, or at select hotels, or special programs outside the city, and there is no limit to the kind of favors the favorites would do to get them promoted to a higher level.

I am quite convinced that the family, relatives, friends and close associates should be kept at safe distance from the institutions, or else there is bound to be pulls and pushes affecting the persons involved with them. As head of an institution, my concern should be the welfare of the people associated with the institution and the reputation that the institution has enjoyed in the past. I cannot defame an institution overnight. The nation is going through series of examples of what favoritism and nepotism could do to a nation. I am referring to the 2G scam, with the former Telecom minister Raja and his associates swindling the nation’s exchequer and filling the coffers of their own kith and kin. We need to be careful that history does not repeat itself.

Fathoming Failures

If failures in life were to be the yardstick to assess our human worth, then there would be no human person left on earth; perhaps the animals and plants would be much better off in that case. We know that everyone encounters failures at some stage or other, and I would be bold enough to say that not a single human person is there, who has never encountered failures in life. We could say that failures are our second nature, and it is only because of our failures that we can bow down our heads before God, nature and circumstances and acknowledge our limitations. Every time I fail to accomplish something, I feel bad, and sometimes the failures put me off, and I regret for not doing my best for the work assigned, and when people cannot face failures, they go to the extent of ending their lives. Every time results in schools are announced, there would be at least a couple of cases of suicides of students.

When my friend told me that she had not got through one of the two examinations she had appeared for, I was not disturbed. From her voice I could make out that she was disturbed by the results, and she even said that it would take her a couple of days to get over the feeling. Serious people would often find it hard to accept failure, especially if they had given their best for a work and at the end to face failure is unthinkable. Such people think that failure indicates that all their labour has gone in vain, and it was a futile job that they had spent so much of their time and energy. But we do know that there are areas where success does not depend on our ability or intelligence alone; there are other factors which are responsible for getting through in life. Therefore we need to look at failures at the proper perspective.

How much of responsibility could we take up for the failures that we encounter in life? There is no magical formula with which we could measure the rate of our responsibility; it all depends on how much of the work depended ourselves per se. For instance, to get through the examination, mere intelligence is not enough; we would hope that one is able to write well in the examinations; feeling sick on the day of exam may be enough to produce bad results. Then we would hope that the answer script lands an examiner who is in his proper disposition to look at the paper objectively. If he or she had a fight at home in the morning, then the reaction of that anger might be reflected on the answer scripts. Then we would hope that the addition of the marks is done accurately and that there is no addition mistake, and lastly that the persons reproducing the marks on the final list do the good job and don’t change the figures. All these are responsible for our success.

Even if there had been a loophole in the entire process, then our success could be jeopardized. Therefore it is proper to take failures with a pinch of salt. There are external pressures which control our success; psycho-social and cultural context also contribute their own mite towards our success. My purpose is not so much to justify the failure that my friend had to face, but to look at success and failure with as much objectivity as possible. I had known that she was not in a proper frame of mind when she went to write the examination, and had even told me how she felt while writing the exam, and therefore I could not blame for failing in one exam. Blaming her for the failure could only cripple her self-confidence and usher in more failure.

How are we to look at failures in life? Failures in life cannot be taken as the failure of the person; we need to dissociate failures from the persons. Failures, we are told, are stepping stones to grow and forge ahead, and they could also become the proper motivation to excel and go beyond the expected standards. They could serve as the spark of flame which could explore the volcanoes of creativity and originality. If a school dropout could build an empire of software companies (I am referring to Bill Gates of Microsoft), and another school dropout who finished his schooling at the age of 13, could give the world the consciousness on the present moment (I am talking about Eckhart Tolle, who had revolutionized the world with his ‘The Power of Now’), we all of us can make something worthwhile out of our failures. The only precondition in the process is that we do not turn back, but fix our eyes on the goals set ahead and march forward.

Displaced Depression

No one in our office could believe that he would have mental derailment; he had always been a soft spoken and quiet man, who spoke very little, and that too only with the people whom he considered trust worthy. It came as a rude shock to our staff, when he confided with one of them that he was frightened of the police, of the evil-intentioned people hiding from somewhere close by waiting to attack him. He was terribly frightened and nothing would stop him from believing that he was just imagining all these things and there was not an iota of truth in what he spoke. But he was convinced that he was speaking truth, and every time the telephone rang, he thought that his rivals were enquiring about him, and that made him all the more nervous. He even asked a few of our staff if he could stay with them and not return to his home, and it took them sometime before they could make him return to his home.

It was only today that I came to know that he had been quite upset with the family matters, especially his mother supporting her younger son, and opposing whatever this gentleman did. The younger brother had been trying to usurp the parental property, and therefore had blamed him of having a relationship with the wife of his elder brother. Everyone knows for sure that he is not the kind of person who would entertain anything of that sort. He said that he occasionally call up his sister in law, only out of courtesy, and would just enquire how she was and nothing more. His younger brother made use of this issue to blackmail him and now he is mentally disturbed, a situation he is happy about, so that he could grab the property for himself.

I was feeling sad for our staff, because he is a quiet person, who is guileless and would not think evil for anyone. It is hard to believe when bad things happen to good people, and unfortunately that seems to be the law of the land. Good people suffer far more than evil intentioned people, and it would often appear that this is the accepted norm and we have nothing to grumble about. What could we do to our staff to bring him back to his healthy self? He has already gone to the hospital and had consulted doctors, who have given him medication, and hopefully after some days he will be able to come to his healthy self, provided he is allowed to live peacefully without attempts to sabotage his mind and peace. But it is doubtful if his younger brother would allow him to leave peacefully, at least till he succeeds in grabbing the property.

The world has seen lots of bloodshed due to greed for parental property; it is easy for lazy people to depend on what the parents have augured through their hard labour, and not giving a try to put their best to earn more. Truly honest and hardworking people would not depend on parental property, but would try to get something out of their sheer hard work, and this is the kind of wealth and property which will last. All those who rely only on the parental property may one day find themselves paupers, because they only learn to rely on what others had given to them, and such people may leave hardly anything for their offspring. Even if it hard to manage daily living with the earning, if people make it a point to stand on their own feet, lots of lives could be saved, and the greedy would have time to mend their ways.

It is hard to say what would happen to our staff in the next weeks and months; it is hard to predict how his younger brother would take it, when he comes to know that his elder brother was getting back to normal, and that might foil his evil designs to get his share of property. There is very little that we could do to help him limp back to normalcy, but some of our staff call him up now and them assuring him of our support, and that is what we could do. We would not like to sit in the seats of judgment to condemn the evil designs of his mother and younger brother; it is not for us to judge their actions, because we know very little about objective truth, and even if we know for sure that they had deliberately tried to cheat our staff, and still we cannot condemn them on the basis of what we know. Judgment is not for us, but to support the suffering and troubled hearts is what we could do to ease those who long for fresh air.

Presence

As I was preparing to go to sleep, I could get the smell of incence, and I just looked through my windows to the pavement, next to our gate, and I could see a few men and women sitting silently near the senior lady who had lost her husband. Occasionally I could hear the crying of women, but for the most part there was absolute silence. And that was the scene when I woke up too. There were some ten to fifteen men and women around the senior lady, and there was no talking, but only empathetic silence. I was wondering what a wonderful way of expressing their empathy for the bereaved family, which perhaps had nothing to offer to the relatives and well-wishers who might have come from far, not even a cup of tea, but they did not seem to mind it.

Death is a moment when life seems to be taking the cruelest form of revenge on humanity. We cannot resist when death knocks at our doors, but be prepared to open wide the doors and let the angel of death lead our dear ones across the shore. The pain and agony that people go through at the death of a senior person, one who has lived the ripe old age, and was making space for the younger ones, is relatively much less in comparison to the young persons who die at the prime of their life, or still worse children dying a premature death. Whatever be our complaints and allegations against the gods, we have no way of undoing what has been predestined. The best that we could offer is to stand by those who have been robbed of their breadwinners, their main support and their sustenance.

It was hard for me to go through the loss of the dear ones, when a close friend of mine lost her father, just in his early fifties. He had his two unmarried daughters, and a son who was barely 10 years old. No one ever thought that he would leave the world so soon; they were not even prepared to believe that he was no more. My friend had lost her loving father, who had supported her all through, even when her mother would scorn and inflict pains on her. I felt there was very little that I could do, but the next moment I realized for the people who are devastated, any little help given them is great; they did not even have the strength and stamina to organize a vehicle to take the body to Bangalore from Chennai where the death took place in a hospital. I stayed with them for four days to provide the much needed consolation for them.

In a tribal society, death in a family is sequel to death in the whole village; all celebrations are cancelled until the impurity is purged; often it could take about one month to forty days. This is another way of showing solidarity and sympathy for the bereaved family. The village community stands with the family which has lost some one, and everyone gathers to bid the final goodbye for the person. It is a wonderful gesture that the young and old gather round the dead person, and when the bone-drowning ceremony (bhandan) is to take place, the villagers offer the favorites of the dead person, including eatables, beeri, cigarette and anything that could be useful for them. I had seen the same thing happening among the burial ceremony of the mainstream society too. Another way of expressing solidarity.

To get back to the Muslim family which had lost the senior member of the family, there is no cooking in the family and it was quite obvious that all the members had been keeping awake all through the night, and when it was morning, I could see some of the ladies lying near our Church; they were all fatigued and still they kept vigil, with the family of the dead person, and I don’t know how long this will continue. There is very little conversation between them, but all the men and women seem to vibrate with one another. Even in their utmost poverty and privation, they seemed to have plenty to offer to the people very much in need of their silent presence by their side. In a world that is being torn apart on the basis of color, caste and creed, the loving presence of neighbors and relatives is soothing for the heavy hearts.

Angel of Darkness

At the side of our main gate, I noticed a group of people crowding and watching something. Next to them stood a Matador vehicle, and it did not take me long to understand that someone had died in the family – the Muslim family which had made the footpath just at the side of our gate for the past 25 years or more. Death, the familiar guest at all families, does not spare any one, high or low, rich or poor, men or women. But this is perhaps the most uninvited guest we have ever known on earth; there is hardly anyone we have known, who willingly and joyfully welcomes Death. This is the season of Lent, and so it is appropriate to think about death, not only as Jesus triumphing over death, but how we carry our death in our bodies and minds. In fact, a serious contemplation on our deaths can serve to energise us to live more fully and joyfully.

Tony D’Mello in his famous book, Sadhana, a way to God, presents to us a meditation on our own death bodies. See and smell it, as it decays, infested with worms, and becomes earth. This is what we all are; perishable… we carry on our bodies the label “Perishable”, but unfortunately very few behave as if we are perishable; we are happy to think that we will live forever, and there will be no end to our life on earth. If only we consider our life on earth with a limited time and space continuum, then we will spend most of our energy to make the best use of the time to be happy and leave joyful memories. In such cases, death cannot come as a threat, but as a welcome guest, who comes to take us to give wage for our labor; is that not something that we should be happy and proud about?

We are drowned in sorrow and agony when someone dear to us depart this earth, and sometimes it is hard to accept this reality; such was the case with my sister, when her husband died all too suddenly, unannounced, and at a moment when she wanted him more. Her life was devastated when she knew that she has to fight with life (with the additional burden of carrying cancer in her body) all alone, helping her daughter find fulfillment in life. My brother in law was not the only breadwinner, because my sister was able to earn a living as a teacher, but what was more important for my sister was that her husband had turned a new leaf and was going to care for her. Death came one fine morning and took him all too soon, and neither she nor her daughter, nor any of our family members were ever prepared for it.

It may be easy to preach about death, and how we should welcome it with outstretched arms; but it is a different kind of reality when it does approach us. When we hear about the brutal killing of several men and women, or the accidents and mishaps which kills hundreds of people each day, we are not so much moved; but when it happens to one of our familiar persons, we are shaken, and find it hard to accept. Unfortunately no one teaches us the secret of embracing death with open arms, and except for a few brave sages and saintly persons, all of us find it a challenge to think about death, especially as it approaches us gingerly. This is one reality that perhaps the human race will never be able to undo, just as we have very little control over births. We are just pawns in the hands of creation and nature.

We are told that in death we enter into a different kind of reality, which cannot be compared with the earthly reality. The Bhagavad Gita talks about the nature of the soul in Chapter 2, when it leaves the perishable body, because it is something that knows no end. No one who has experienced it has ever returned to tell us how it is to face death; but one thing is for sure, whether we fear or not, whether we are happy or not, death will come to us at its own time and lead us home. We may say a thousand things in philosophical terms to explain how wonderful it is to welcome death, but it is a different reality in concrete, especially when the human bondage is thicker than blood. We look at the death of Jesus as a different kind of reality, where he subdues death and reigns victorious, and when we die, we too share in his glory, which is a new kind of identity and home address that we all can be truly proud of.

Why me, Lord?

One of my favorite songs of the yesteryears, was Why me, Lord! I remember listening to this song some 25 years ago, and the lyrics of the song still stir my heart. This song presents the popular sentiments of all people of all times, namely why should people suffer for no fault of their own. Yesterday as I was talking to a senior Sister, who had a fall and had to be transferred to another place, partially terminating her new assignment just half way through. I had been nursing positive hopes about what I could do, and all of a sudden my fall had changed all my hopes. What have I done to deserve this punishment, she asked me. I did not find adequate words to console her, and I remember three years ago, when I received the sudden heart attack of my brother in law and the immediate death, I did not know how to console my sister.

On many occasions we look up to God and raise the same question – why me? Of all the people on the face of the earth, why should I be subjected to such a harsh punishment? Could the Lord not have averted this thing happening to me? The Shack tried to delve deep into the mystery of this question, as did Job in the Old Testament. I know one thing for sure, this is a question that no human mind can adequately answer, and that is why human suffering and death are the riddles which cannot be conceived by the human mind. These are the realities that seal us with the imprint of humanness, and yet we yearn for an answer; we all want to know why bad things happen to good people. Human mind which has unraveled so many mysteries of the universe is unable to find an answer to this simple question, and it continues to baffle generations.

We are used to thinking only about ourselves, our own worries and troubles, and cannot think of anything beyond them. We think that only we carry insurmountable burden, while all others are enjoying their lives. This is because we do not easily disclose to others the mental pain and agony that we go through in life; we keep them locked up within our closets, or like to push them under the carpet. We all like to suffer silently, and that is the reason why each one thinks he or she is the only sufferer in the whole world; if only look carefully how each one is laden with heavy burdens, then we might think that ours is a much easier load than others. In fact every other person on earth is carrying much more burden than we do, and this could be a matter of consolation that we have been spared from such an insurmountable load.

It is impossible for us to imagine the greater plan that God may have for us, within which these painful moments, agonizing turn of events and unexpected change of our life expectations fall. Who can discern God’s way; it would be impossible for us to decipher the reason why things happen to us the way they do; if only we are able to find answer to all our questions, then the world would be quite different, and this time not necessarily for better. Thank God we are not able to understand why certain things happen to us; in most cases, we might thank God for making certain painful moments come our way, because these moments might have done more good to us than pain. However we could say this only on hind sight and it is impossible for us to recognize what the Lord has in store for us, when they do take place.

I cannot think of anyone who is spared of bad things in life; even the most virtuous and pious of men and women also had their own share of pain and suffering, sometimes these had more than their due share. This is because they had the mental stamina and spiritual vitality to bear all pain and suffering. In many cases, these men and women were subjected to more painful mental agony and torture, which tried to drain them out of the spiritual energy they had been relying on. All of us have our share of pain and suffering, and once we begin to see that it is only through the path of these painful moments that we could really enter into a state of sheer bliss. There is no shortcut to happiness and unending joy; we need to go through the path of pain and suffering in order to enjoy and relish what is in store for us. The wait might be worth it all.

Calling on Convictions

It is hard to explain what my convictions mean to me; I have been shaped and molded by my many convictions over the years, and every major experience in life had taught me lessons, which are carved in my manifold convictions. They are in a sense sacred to me, because they are the guiding principles, based on which I adjust each of my future moves. I find it very difficult when someone challenges them, leave alone questions the authenticity of them. Not everyone understands that we do not arrive at convictions over night, they are like plants which take months and years to grow and stand firmly on their roots. It might be easy for some who do not know to just pooh pooh them.

We always look at reality around us with our subjective eyes, and there is hardly anything which could be called objective in our perspectives. That is why Milton’s famed words, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If that is the case, there is bound to be differences of opinion, and it is wrong to dissect and analyse them, or do a comparative study of them. What I have learned from life may be diametrically different from what someone else has learned. Life is not an objective reality, but is a subjective reality which shapes persons according to the degree of their openness and transparency. In this regard, every experience in life is important to the person who is ready to take the best out of experiences.

Thank God for the differences of opinion in the way we look at reality around us, and because of this we are able to improve on things. If every one thought in the same way, and looked at reality with the same vision, then there would be hardly anything to be perfected. It is only because some are able to go beyond the periphery and look into the matter of things that we are able to fine-tune reality and present them in a way which can be a perfect image of reality as far as human mind can perceive. Comparing the convictions of persons can be a dangerous act, which may brand people and straight-jacket them on the basis of their perception.

Not all convictions stay with us all through life; just as they take a long time to get shaped, it takes a long time for them to fade into thin air. I still remember many of my youth convictions have disappeared as I matured; I dropped them whenever I found then in direct conflict with life-promoting elements. I have learned that I cannot hold on to any conviction or ideology or perspective which is not promoting life; I have learned to look at the brighter side of life, and we may find a million ways how life is a means of promoting vitality and energy, and bringing the best out of human persons. Ultimately I have learned that I cannot hold on to convictions which are in out of sync with the present world, and do not help me to find my way.

It is impossible to drop my convictions, even when I realize that they are out of date with the present times; they will take their due course to fall from the tree; just like every autumn is the season for trees to drop down the old and outdated, and help new leaves to shoot up during spring. Life too has designed such a plan for all of us, and it is our duty to allow such time and space for nature to play such harmonious chord in life. Any attempt to drop down convictions and viewpoints without proper consideration, may only result in ripple effects which may disturb the harmony we enjoy within our selves and with the world around us. This is what we call “adjustment”, which is one of the primary concepts which we need to pay attention to when we are working with others.

Animated by a Fire

Seldom do we come across people who are so full of life and zest; it is not easy to be enchanted by something which turns our life topsy-turvy, that we do not think of anything else. Some years ago, Pedro Arrupe had said something which always ring in my ears. He said, “Nothing is more ractical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything”.

One thing is sure, only people who are impelled by the power of love, who could be so full of life, and I had two duos, who were so animated by what they were convinced of that I could see they had truly fallen in love with what they had found. If there are people who are half dead in our society, it is because they have not fallen in love. A priest who had realized the power of the Word of God is making ripple effects of the transformation that the Word can bring in the lives of simple and ordinary people, and there is a nun, who is young and vibrant, fearlessly taking the Word to far and wide, fully convinced of her mission to help people open their hearts and minds to the Word to be transformed.

I had spent just a couple of hours with them, and they had so many things to share with me that they could not stop talking about what they had experienced, and now feel convinced. It was their love for the Word which is drawing hundreds of people to experience personally the power that Christ is pouring out into the hearts of all those who take the first step to reach the Bible House in Krishnagar. When there is love, which can move mountains, then there is the indefatigable conviction that what they are in love has the power to do the impossible. I had the opportunity to listen to some of the wonderful stories of transformation. Many of the stories are humanly impossible stories.

The young and beautiful girl, who is a post-graduate student, had left her house on the Bengali New Year day to spend a few hours at the Bible House. A Hindu by birth, and quite traditional in approach, she did not mind to leave the house on such an auspicious day, because she felt that she had a lot more to receive at the Bible House than at her home. From lack of peace at home and in her heart, now she has an over flowing of peace and harmony within that she talks about her transformative experiences wherever she goes. She does not even spare marriage parties and even as she decorates the bride and her party (she has done a beautician course), she talks about Jesus and what he could do to people who call on him. She is not a Christian, and there is no talk if she would embrace Christianity soon, but she is a changed person, and there is fire when she shares about the story of her transformation.

The story of the young man, who also had a U-turn in his life two months ago, tells a similar experience, and after seeing the transformation that he had gone through, neither his mother or the Father or Sister, or he himself cannot explain what had happened. All that he had done was to make the effort to reach the Bible House for once, and now he behaves and relates with people in a different note. He confided that he was used to smoking and drinks and ever since he had stepped into the Bible House, he had not touched a cigarette or drinks. There is no inner urge in him to take them. He does not know how all these things happened in him. He is inviting his friends to the Bible to experience for themselves what the Word can do in their lives. There was fire in the two young people too, and I was telling myself, if only our young men had this kind of fire in them, then there would be miracles taking place in every village, town and the state. But to begin with, we will have to start with what we are in love with.

Ushering New Year

It is Bengali new year day, but as I travel to another place, some four hours from home, I see no sign of celebration on the way, except some small shops were beginning to decorate the entrance with flowers; the traffic on the road was relatively less, but what about the celebrations? A good many people in the state seem to be quite oblivious of the fact that they were beginning yet another calendar year, and given the fact that in rural Bengal it is the Bengali calendar which is more in vogue than the English calendar, but we have long embraced the English New Year day than the regional one, and that says a lot about the change in attitude of the people towards long cherished traditions and cultural moors.

As New Year ushers in new hope and new aspirations; unfortunately promises and great plans are still stringed to the English New Year day; and they disappear into thin air a few days after the New Year. I have not heard about anyone taking New Year promises on a Bengali calendar year. For the general public, the regional calendar is of much less significant than the accepted English calendar. We are on the verge of giving a decent burial to the calendar which was shaping our socio-cultural living for centuries, and are prepared to replace it with the foreign and even alien system of calendar which may place us on an equal footing with the rest of the world.>/p>

Exchange of greetings on this day is not common either; as I travelled and met friends and familiar people, only one remembered to wish me Happy New Year, and that person is not a Bengali (in the true sense of the word, but a true Bengali at heart); I too did not dare to wish friends and associates, lest they should think I am old fashioned. The world is fast changing, and whatever that is local, close to the soil, is being relegated to the dusty store rooms, and whatever is foreign (bilati, and even our vegetables and fruits now have a prefix of ‘bilati’ – even our long time favorites, brinjal and tomatoes have fair skins) is glorified, treasured at the core of our homes and hearts.

The one word that goes round in our newspapers and during election campaigns these days is the ‘change’; it seems that the ‘change’ is inevitable in the political, cultural and social levels, and when the whole state is on the move towards change, no one can resist its powerful currents. There is a mad rush to welcome change, as if we had not experienced it all these years; we think only in terms of political powers, but we had been confronting change, for better or worse, almost everyday, and many of them had done good too. Those who forget their history are condemned to repeat it, so says an old Indian proverb, and therefore we need to keep our records intact, the path we have come along.

New Year ushers in new hope and enthusiasm; every business person or a shopkeeper who opens a new “haal khatha” (account book) hopes that the New Year will come with “subha laabh” (manifold rewards). We all of us plead with the gods and goddesses on this day to make each day, a day of plenty, because it is only in plenty could we find our joy and happiness. But this is a paradox that we have landed in; we may find true joy and happiness only in scarcity and not in plenty. A person who has just a few hands full of rice enjoys it with great relish than the one who has too much to eat and throw off. The person who has just a few rupees spends it with great care than the person who has too much to spare. Therefore my New Year wish is that all may have just enough for them to be happy and contended, and share the surplus with those in dire need of them, and that is when each day of the year can be a New Year’s day.

Priestly Way

It was a special day for the priests, when they together with their Shepherd, the Bishop, celebrated their priesthood, on the occasion of the Chrism mass every year. And this year it was held yesterday, and it was a joy to see so many priests assembled for the occasion. My rough estimate was about 200 priests, young and old, from the city and from afar. It gave me a sense of belonging to this privileged group of people, who had been consecrated to be the ministers of the Word and the mission entrusted to them by the Lord. How unworthy I am to belong to this select group, who had been specially called to re-present the Lord to his people! All my pride and arrogance melt the very moment when I recall to mind how the Lord had chosen me to be his minister, despite my many weaknesses and frailties. The wounded healer, that is what I am, and am honored to be part of this special assembly.

What happened during the two hour ceremony is a routine affair, and I had earlier attended quite a few Chrism masses, and by now know the order of the mass, and about the special homily when the Bishop addresses his ordained ministers, reminding them of their commitment to the Lord and his people. But every year while attending this mass, I feel the grace of the Lord freely flowing over simple and even sinful people that we are. I know at least half the priests who had gathered, and had been meeting them here and there on several occasions. Not all of them are worthy of their call, this I can say with all humility, the same way I feel about my own call. Sometimes I even feel that the priests go down in their sanctity and holiness after their ordination, and a lot of worldly values possess them, which is a sad part.

Just after the mass, when we were having supper, one of my diocesan friends approached me to complain to me about our new priest whom I had arranged to keep him in that parish for a few months of pastoral experience. This young man, specialized in a particular field of ministry, had been telling the priests that he was specialized in a particular ministry and so he should not be asked to take up other responsibilities in the parish or the attached school. I was told that he had been telling the diocesan priests that the Jesuits don’t behave in the way the diocesans do. I know my friend and the priests in the parish were concerned about the welfare of the new priest, but I was surprised to hear such complaints about him, and now I wonder how I could tackle him, and help him to open himself to correction, and learn from the seniors.

Unfortunately we are living in a world where young people do not want to learn from the seniors; this is the world of self-help learning, and there are all means available at the click of the mouse button, and the young feel it is boring and even annoying to learn from the old, who are out of touch with the present day reality. I have been experiencing this on other occasions too, and therefore sometimes I shut my mouth and let the young do what they want; however at times I feel also guilty for not correcting the young when they make obvious errors, and still refuse to be open for correction. We have come a long way from the traditional gurukul system of teaching and learning, and it is time that we return to the cherished values of that system.

But let these bad feeling not dampen my spirit as we celebrate our special calling; it is a privileged moment, and that is why we celebrate our call with a fairly good dinner (despite it falling in the season of Lent), and I am sure coming together as members of this kind of fraternity is essential to support one another, and feel consoled that I am not alone at this arduous journey; I am walking along with other priests who have more worries to handle, more burden to shoulder, and more responsibilities to share. We are overshadowed by our burdens most of the time that we fail to take time to celebrate our life as ministers of the Lord, and I wish we take time off more often to celebrate our call, because this is sure to have a positive effect in our lonely journey, reaching out to the needy and the helpless.

Letting Go

To tie and untie the rope that is tied to the shore from a boat is an art, and it is only those who know how and where to tie the rope, that can sure the safety for the boat and the people who may travel. It is an art to let things go, and it might require quite an amount of learning that goes along with this art, just like every art needs to be cultivated. The best example I can think of for letting things go, is the art of swimming. It requires quite a bit of courage to jump for the first time into a tank or a pool; we should be happy if there is someone who is at our side to help us teach how to place our strides, and I had learned to swim all by myself, and at one moment even felt sinking, and had not the voice or courage to call friends who were swimming at a little distance. But luckily I managed to float and since then I know I cannot sink in water. Then the few moments of sinking was agonizing.

If one is too frightened of sinking, one may never learn to swim. The same logic also applies for those who learn driving a vehicle, either two wheelers or four wheelers. If one is too frightened of meeting with an accident, one would never dare to take the vehicle on the road; there would be something preventing that person from daring. What I would like to point to is the experience of the freedom and ease that dawns after we take the leap, to borrow a term from the existentialist philosophers. In order to experience the freedom and the ease that follows the leap, the risk is worth taking. Worries and anxieties are blocks which prevent us from experiencing the freedom and ease which is our due, but these also present to us a sense of false security, and we might cling on to them hoping they would last long. The mind can scarcely think that true freedom is in letting things go, rather than holding on to them.

The false sense of security that worries and anxieties present to us is also linked to our own existence, and we cannot think of anyone who would allow ourselves to be annihilated. We all want to live, and we believe, though erroneously, that we could live only by holding on the things we hope will keep us safe and secure. But relying on worries and anxieties is like chasing mirages, and ultimately we might land up nowhere, or might find ourselves in the same place. To let go of things is daring to take the risk, and be prepared to face whatever that might happen to us, during the moments which follow the letting go. It is a very brief moment, but very crucial, because it is during these moments that the human mind may present black as white and white as black; if we are carried away too easily by the mind, then we might not reach the other shore, we may never learn to drive.

Let me explain why worries and anxieties present to us only a sense of false security. We know only too well that worries and anxieties are related to what is yet to come, and in most cases they are only hypothetical cases, because if we know certain thing for sure, then we do not worry about them, but if there is something not known to us may take place, that sucks our energy, and at the end we are more tensed imagining what could possibly happen. The clinging to worries and anxieties is nothing but a pigment of our imagination, and there is not an iota of truth and real security. Let me also face the other side of the coin : is it possible that my life may be endangered if I let things go free? Human experience has shown that that happens but very rarely, and we may not experience such things in our lives.

In fact, worries and anxieties do not allow us to take a step forward; they are oriented towards keeping us bound to the shore, hoping one day the other shore might exchange place with this one. There is nothing potentially dangerous with worries and anxieties, but they could become cause of one’s diseases, especially those relating to the heart, food habits, allergies and mental stress and tension. This is also related to a realistic self-assessment, so that we do not assess ourselves either as too simple or as too grand. Worries and anxieties rely on the qualities and securities which do not happen in reality, they are only in the imaginative and possibility domain. Too much of calculation and estimates might not work well with letting things go free, but we may have to make decisions on the basis of reality, and act upon them instantaneously.

Burying worries

One of the most painful challenges we face in life is tackling nagging worries and anxieties. It is next to impossible to overcome them altogether, unless we have full control over them, and it is an art to take full control of what makes us worried and anxious. One might think it is easier said than done, because there is hardly any soul on earth who does not go through anxious moments and come in contact with worries. No doubt, when they are not checked in time, they could lead to depression, and that could turn out to be fatal if it becomes chronic. I am no psychologist or psychiatrist to analyse the different reasons responsible for excessive worries and anxieties, but I would like to look at them from psycho-spiritual point of view. I might sound a bit too spiritual when I begin to discuss what Jesus has to say about worries and anxieties, but the point is Jesus had a remedy for this malady which haunts several men and women of our age.

Let us turn to the Holy Bible to see what Jesus says about these unfriendly allies to human beings. “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?” (Mt 6:25-26) … “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil” (Mt 6:34). Jesus is addressing the problem squarely, and is it not heartening to realize that two thousand years ago, Jesus had known what our generation may be going through in an acute way! And what he tells us may not sound too profound, but if we give a serious thought to his words, we will realize that he has a serious point to make.

Jesus no doubt is making this part of the discourse in the context of dependence on God, or a superior being, if one feels the word God too intimidating. It does not require of me to tell that every human person is limited, and we have no other option than to depend on others to fulfill most of our needs and wants. Fortunately, the society we live in fulfill these needs, and there are certain other needs which we draw from our inner self. There are a few wants where we cannot look up to human persons; for instance a child who is too frightened of darkness may cling on to its mother, but when we grow into adulthood, we have to device certain mechanism to handle fear by ourselves, and in this case, we may believe and call upon God to stand close by, so that we would not experience fright. Similarly there are areas which are beyond the reach of human persons, and they are the ones where we need to look up to God for assistance.

Let me now explain the same concept from the perspective of the twentieth century ‘existentialist philosophy’. Here in this category we may recall the contributions of Jean Paul Sartre, Nietche, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and others. Confronted with human tragedies and predicaments, these men and women tried to find amicable ways of handling them, but not resting their faith on religious believes, but on reason and logic. Sartre might tell those who are excessively worried that they might find relief from them, only when they dare to take a leap into the unknown, and they put it figuratively as jumping into the everlasting deep hole. Is it too frightening? They are just repeating what Jesus has told the people, though here the terminology is somewhat philosophical, but the idea remains the same. Unless we are ready to let things go out of our control, we might still be tied to them.

Let me present an image for dependence on the superior power, or on God; to let things go out of our hands might sound too frightening, but it is only when we do it, can we find life bearable and meaningful. One may find safe and secure when his boat is fastened to the shore, and to let the rope go and let the boat move forward is too frightening, and anything could happen when the boat is in the middle of the river, but if one does not want to take the risk of letting things go, one might be stuck to where one was. To reach the other shore, we have to let the rope go free, and allow the boat to face the currents of the river and find its own pace and route to reach the other shore. Those who are worried too much are seeing the risks and dangers involved rather than the possibility of reaching the other shore by letting the rope go free. We shall come back to the topic again, to explain the art of letting things go.

Of Undue Demands

One of our senior fathers had asked me for a favor, to do the layout design for one of the books he had edited, and I had gladly accepted to do it for him; it took me quite some time to get the things organized for the book with bi-lingual texts and photos inserted at appropriate places. It was not easy working on the project, because the senior father, with all due respect to him, did not know the difference between a good and a bad photo; he had given me a thumbnail photo and asked me to make it as large as half of a normal book page, which would be an impossible task for any one, because the quality of the photo was good enough to print as a stamp size and not any larger. Making him understand the nuances of photographs and design was not easy, and he had his typical old-age syndrome of asking for all queer kind of design aspects, which I found quite unreasonable. A few days ago, I stayed awake till late in the night to get a print out of the book, and after three days, I get a long list of corrections to be made, and this time not minor corrections, but almost redoing the entire layout, which I found was asking for too much.

>p>I was wondering if this man was taking me for granted, that I had all the time required to do all that he wanted, without caring if I would be able to do them or not. At his age, he does not have any job, and yet he spends quite many hours in front of the computer, but given my responsibilities, I have so many things to look after, plan and execute. I would have spent already at least 40 to 50 hours, making all minute changes, changes in the layout and formatting, and what he asks of me at this juncture would take me at least another 10 hours, and therefore I had written to him if he could find someone else to do all the corrections he had asked for. I was a bit annoyed by his long list of corrections (many of which is sure to disturb the page numbering and spacing), as if he had not foreseen, and some others which were sure to disturb the uniformity of design.

Due to this exchange of emails, I was a bit disturbed during the day. I am aware sometimes people try to take me for granted, and I should make this note that anyone who loves and cares for me would not dare do that, because they would take me seriously, and there is no question of taking me for granted, or for a royal ride. Sometimes it happens these are the very people who may not even have the courtesy to say thanks when a big work is done for them, and the next time, I would hesitate to do anything for them. Just because they are foreigners (and I have my own understanding of being a foreigner, which I shall explore in a different blog), they have the special privileges and concessions given them from all corners. No doubt, they had done wonderful work in their younger days, but when they are old, they should have the courtesy and humility to resume a subdued life, and these are the people who would like to hold on to their forts despite their age and mental conditions.

During the past week, another friend of mine had approached me to design a card for the memorial of the death of his relatives. It had taken me some time to sit with him and do the designing, and he was so happy to get it done (one reason for his happiness being, I do not charge him at all for the designing and I managed to provide him with the kind of pictures and designs which he liked). I did not mind doing this for him, and after two days he called me up to ask if I could do another design for another of his friends, and I spent a couple of hours to do it for him too. I know this friend appreciates my work, and relies on me. I have the freedom to tell him what would be better and artistically elegant, and therefore I do not mind when he suggests me something in the design. I very much like to make use of my talents for others, and I do not much mind if they are grateful to me for the favors or not, but when they start demanding things which are asking for too much, then I find it hard to accept their demands.

I have realized that when a work is done out of love, the quality of the work would be far more superior to the work done out of some kind of compulsion or pressure. And it does not take too long for a work to turn from love to compulsion, if care is not taken. Ordering or demanding from persons who are only doing a favor could only lead to disappointment and qualitatively inferior work done. I felt it would not be good for me to continue the work for him under pressure, especially doing things which I feel (as a layout designer) would only disturb the design’s uniformity, which he may not understand or appreciate, but this is one thing I felt sure that if he wants to have things his way, then I should not allow myself to be controlled by him, and that is what I had communicated to him, and I am yet not sure if he would find another person to continue the work, or try to see my point of view about some of his unreasonable and unartistic demands.

Know thy Achilles’ heel

Any one taking charge of a place or an institution generally would like to assert that his worthy predecessor was not altogether innocent of many of the things that the new person would approve of. Finding fault with predecessors is nothing new with new executives, and this is all the more true in the case of persons who had been occupying the high-end chairs for a decade or more; it is too long for them to occupy a position, and as a result they fail to see the rut that might be collecting around them. It would be the duty of the successor to clear some of the dirt, especially those collected under the carpet, and those hanging from the ceiling. The new executive is also duty bound to protect the identity of the predecessor, and even unwillingly support what he had done before the employees, because that is what is expected of him from the institute he has become an integral part of.

I am quite wary of the people who would sell the institutions they represent, in order to show favoritism towards a couple or more persons, who do not even come under the ambit of the institution. It is a dangerous trend, if outsiders take advantage of the generosity and openness of the executive in order to curry favor, much to the chagrin of the other staff of the institution. I had come across such instances quite a few times, and had been quite critical about this kind of dealings, but there was very little that I could do to prevent such a kind of dealings. How can one allow outsiders take the institution for a royal ride? After all, the institution is not a private property of any particular individual, but belongs to the people, and when one receives the appointment letter to give the leadership role, one needs to bear in mind that one has to protect the greater interests of the institution before all else.

As an executive who has great responsibility laid upon his or her shoulders, one of the most important things he/she needs to be aware of is, his/her own weaknesses. People outside know how to locate and attack on the Achilles’ heels. It is after all not altogether difficult for people to find out the weaknesses of their bosses, and it would not be too late before they spread the net to catch them unawares. There are people, who are weak in certain respects, and I do not need to elaborate what people are generally weak at, and once people know what the weaknesses of their bosses, then half their work is done, and all they have to do now is, create a situation where the boss becomes an easy victim, and that is the starting point of the institution being taken for a royal ride by unassuming persons, with unlimited power and prowess to dictate how the boss deals with the daily affairs and the policy decisions of the institution.

One of the first lessons that I require to learn before I begin to take charge of an institution is to be aware of my own limitations and weaknesses, so that when someone tries to attack me on my weak points, I could catch them there and then, and therefore do not permit them from making me a pawn in their hands. Becoming conscious of and acknowledging my own limitations is nothing demeaning for me; there are areas in me, which are beyond my control to reform or transform, and being conscious of these would be more rewarding than even getting out of these limitations. This is like guarding one’s home from the hands of the burglars who might be attempting at the thick of night. If you are alert and agile to any such attempt, then the burglars cannot succeed in breaking open the house and robbing the treasures. Let me give a silly example, if everyone knows that I go to bed at 9 pm, and wake up at 5 am, then they also know that the best time for them to break open my room is between 9 pm and 5 am. But then, I may also have systems, such as digital alert systems so that as soon as any one tries to break open the door, they are stunned by the sirens honking at deafening volume, waking up the entire neighborhood.

If I am a person who likes to have a few people always at my side, who would always support my viewpoints and perspectives, irrespective of if they would help the institution or not, then I am sure to become their slave too soon, and it would not be long before they put their conditions to me, and extract out of me whatever they might be in want of. The interests and welfare of the institution should take precedence over the interests and welfare of the boss or the employees, and it is only under such circumstances can the institution last long; or else the institution might become a useless entity too soon, and it might come to a situation when it might need to be given a decent burial. Unfortunately this is the story of many of the towering institutions disappearing into thin air over the past decades, and the life of the institution is party in the hands of the one steering it; while it is a privilege, it also calls for greater amount of responsibility on him/her.

Man Vs Industry

He is the uncrowned badshah of the Bengali contemporary cinema, and he seems to be quite sure about it, as he declares more than once (though that might be under the influence of the alcohol), I am Arun Chatterjee, and I am the industry! That is Prosenjit Chatterjee (is the title of the reel and the real characters, just a coincidence?) in his latest avatar in Autograph, taking the Bengali cinema to a newer height. The era of serious films in Bengali had its veteran master filmmakers with Satyajit Ray and Mrinal Sen leading the way, and the path leading to the modern day filmmakers of hope including Gautam Chatterjee with his Moner Manush and Rituporno Ghosh with his Ar ekti premer golpo, and now we have the popular figure of the Bengali cinema, who had been reigning the silver screen for some two decades, and who thought that autograph is in fact a facile tone of his autobiography… the audience fails to notice the blurring of the reel and the real characters in Prosenjit, but that is one of the aspects which gives a glimpse of what is in store of Bengali cinema.

Autograph (and let me remind that there are quite a few films named Autograph in some other Indian languages too, for instance in Tamil and Telugu) is an effort which was worth, in terms of the innovative storyline, cinematography and the trite holding of the plot, though there are areas where one does not know for sure, who is the real hero, if it is Arun Chatterjee or Subhobrato, though we have no doubt in the case of the female lead, in Srinandita. No doubt the film history of the regional languages in India vouch for the fact that there are leading figures who had occupied the stage at different periods, and it is thanks to them that the filmi culture had been passed on from generation to generation uninterrupted. But Prosenjit had to change his hats several times during the two decades, and had proved that he is made of a sterner stuff, and that was so very evident in his brilliant acting in Moner Manush, not to mention his performance in Chokher Bali. But that is the man who represents the industry.

Let me make a few observations about the plot, since this is quite different from the normal mold of films that the Bengal had seen in the recent past. We could not think of a film which is different from the love pair, who go through a series of challenges to keep their bond intact, only to be blessed ultimately by the custodians. But here is the story which begins at a different note, and the audience is not even sure where the plot is taking them, until they see Arun and Srin recognizing the tentacles of love for each other, and Subho left outside the circle of their intimacy. Srin struggles to keep her live-in status intact, even discouraging Arun from coming closer to her, though she finds it hard to push him out of her life. But at the end we are not sure if Arun had done the wise thing by terminating the release of the film once for all, because he would not allow Subho take advantage of the leak of the personal life of Arun, his mentor and producer, financier.

The age of autographs is almost over, and very seldom do you come across youngsters and pretty girls sticking their notebooks to heroes and cricketers, seeking autograph. Look who is seeking the autograph of Arun, the industry icon, at the end of the film – it is the boy at the tea stall in the roadside dhaba, and he had no special notebook to preserve the autograph of the icon, but a casual notebook. We are living in the digital world, and autographs of great men and women are readily available at Google! If you don’t believe this, go to Google website, and under the image category, just key in ‘autograph’, and you will find scores of autographs of some of the greatest men and women of our age. Why is there a need therefore to run after great men and women begging them to grant an autograph? But then this is a story which is nostalgic, taking us to some two decades before, to relive the days when it used to be the regular scene, whenever a hero or a heroine walked on the street or market place. Times have changed, and we cannot forget the past so easily.

Before I conclude the blog, let me pay my humble tribute to the man who could easily fit into any type of character to keep not only his personal image intact, but also to keep his coffers healthy, even when the stock markets turn volatile. Getting Prosenjit to work on roles which are challenging and demanding really bring out the best in him, the hidden potentiality which can pull out the artiste in him, giving us another dimension of the hero. His contribution to the Bengali cinema cannot be disregarded, and he will continue to remain a cult figure in Bengal for quite some years to come. We have had great men and women who had blessed our silver screens – and Mahanayak and his eternal pair, Suchitra Sen will never become old to the Bengali cine-goers. Prosenjit may fall in line with them, and he has many more years to raise the Bengali cinema to greater heights, to bring back the glory that Satyajit Ray achieved for Bengal.