Harnessing psychic power – Wholistic Healing

It is possible to achieve holistic healing through psychic power, provided the person concerned is open to receive healing from within. In this case, as has been already pointed out, healing comes from within; we have the resources to exert healing both to ourselves and to others. Following is a process of achieving wholistic healing; here psychic energy would flow into the entire person healing and refurbishing every weak and fragile part. This psycho-hypnotic exercise would take some 15 minutes, and should be held in a place where there is relative quietness, and the atmosphere conducive. It would be better to have someone direct the person who seeks healing using the following words, or something to that effect. If the exercise is available on a CD and could be played on speakers, it would benefit the one wishing healing to lie on the floor on the back, with as little clothes on as possible. Since the healing will take place at the confluence of body-mind-spirit, any external element may come as a distraction. However when there is another person this may not be possible. What is more important is that there is as little distracting elements as possible.

Preparation: As much as possible, rest all the parts of the back, arms, legs touch the floor, and relax. Adjust the position to reach the most comfortable posture. Take deep breath three times and breathe out slowly… one, two, three. Tell yourself, ‘during the course of this exercise, I am not going to fall asleep, but will be awake all through’! Now become aware of the different sounds around you… the sound of the fan, of the vehicles, of birds chirping… Try to distinguish the sounds… Try to capture the distant and faint sounds… Slowly turn your attention to your body, lying on the floor. Observe all tensions and uneasiness in different parts of the body. If there are more parts feeling uneasy, take a few deep breaths and breathe out slowly. If there are only a few parts feeling heavy, focus your attention on the particular part, and address it directly, e.g. my right shoulder relax! Hold that particular part tightly and loosen it, until that part is relaxed. Similarly make sure all parts of your body are relaxed.

Invocation: As you lie down, feel your body becoming light. Feel that your body is becoming weightless, as if it were a feather. Realize that you can lift your hands up and it does not feel heavy, and so are your legs. Imagine that you are endowed with wings, and you flap your wings, and as soon as you do so, you soar up in the sky, and piercing through the ceiling you go higher and higher. As you reach the sky, you can see this place, your house, the trees, plants, your neighbors, and you can notice some familiar faces walking on the road… admire the scene from the sky with wonder and amazement, as if you are looking at the place for the first time. You wander in the sky for a while and keep moving, and you reach a place where you see a stream, and a flower garden beside it… the fields nearby are green with plantation. Listen to the rustle of the plants, smell their scent, feel the cool breeze. Near the stream, you see a small rock, and an elderly man giving shape in clay to a human figure. You find the scene strangely beautiful, and there is something in the scenery which is inviting you. You alight near the stream gently and slowly.

Invitation: You walk around slowly enjoying every second of your presence there. Feel the scented air, and fill your lungs with the fresh air… take one deep breath and drink the air, and breathe out slowly. Touch the flowers and appreciate their soft and gentle petals. As you move close to the rock, you see the elderly man inviting you close by to look at the clay model. Look at the old man, his flowing snow-white hair, and a glow of radiance around him. There is a touch of divinity in him, and you are drawn to him by a magic force… allow yourself to walk towards him. As you near this old man, you recognize that the model he had been giving shape to resembles very close to you… take a good look at the earthen statue and stay with it, admiring the beauty and wonder of this statue. Touch the statue, feel it, smell it, listen to what it says, and stay as long as you wish… As you admire this statue, you realize that this is the perfect person you had been always longing for… the most perfect creation of God. This is what you had been always longing to be like.

Immolation: You keep admiring the statue, when you suddenly realize that it is not a lifeless statue but a living person. Look at the person smile at you lovingly, and now he is touching you, just feel his touch, which is sending an electricity all over your body, and you feel as if his touch is burning the impurities in you, and you feel a burning sensation. The fire that he had ignited in you is spreading to every part of your body and is strengthening the weak parts, and giving new vigor to the tired bones and nerves… just feel the fire that is spreading to all the parts, and you begin to sweat… feel the heat and remain with it… take time for the fire to smother of its own accord, and don’t try to stop it by force. Let the fire burn all that is unwanted in you and feel all you did not desire in you burnt in the fire…

Embrace : When the fire is gone, you realize new strength and vigor in you, and the person who stands before you smiles at you, and stretches out his hands for an embrace… You realize that you too want to embrace the person, and move forward and embrace him/her. Just feel the touch of the person, the smell, breathing, and listen to the rustle of his/her clothes and just feel the person… As you remain lost in the embrace of the person, you realize that slowly that person is entering into yourself, and is melting into thin air and is lost in you… After a little while, you realize that the person has entered into yourself, and you are left alone in front of the rock. You turn around, and find no old man, who had invited you to see your true image.

Return : As you walk slowly around again, you realize that there is greater energy and power in you, and you realize that your weak bones are now strong, and many of the infirmities you had experienced earlier are gone. The worries and fears which had been haunting you are no more there. You find yourself as a new person, and you experience and enjoy the new-found joy and happiness. You see the flowers, and the green fields, and in the sky you see a group of birds returning home… you have a desire to join their company. You flip your wings and you slowly soar up in the sky… you wave your hands to say good bye to this beautiful place, and join the birds… merrily fly wading through the clouds, and when your house is seen, the other birds wish you and continue their journey, and you gently alight, and piercing through the ceiling, enter into this room and realize that the person lying down here on the floor is your own self… enter into the self and rest for a while, and thank God for this new experience. Savor the experience and stay with it for a while… Take three deep breaths and slowly rub both your hands gently and open your eyes.

It would benefit if this exercise is done once in a while to bring back the lost energy and vigor in us, and this can also usher in well-being in all persons, irrespective of age, gender and physical condition of the persons. However this is not a substitute for serious medical ailments, which may require medical treatment.

Harnessing psychic power – Preparation

Going through some of the websites about psychic power, I realize that there is a sea of information on the topic, and many of them are categorized under the “new age” topics, as if taking a dip is something new to this age. No, it is not; it is as old as many of our civilizations. Even today in the remote corners of the world, we see men and women who are masters in harnessing the power of the human psyche, but this art had taken the form of a cult, and so traditions have not handed over the ancient wisdom to the subsequent generations. That is the reason why many of us find it hard to even understand that there is a tremendous power locked up deep within ourselves. Once we believe in the power, which we can name it also a spiritual power, we are ready to prepare ourselves for a dive.

One of the finest ways of preparing ourselves to harness the psychic power is to become familiar with ourselves, our bodies and the operation of our minds. Needless to say, most of us do not know our bodies sufficiently well. How many of us know where all we have moles in our bodies? Where do we have cut marks, and what are the distinguishing marks in our bodies? Believe it or not, we are all too shy to look at our bodies, like some of the ancient saints who refused to look at their genitals, for fear that should remind them sinful thoughts. If we are not familiar with our bodies, then it would be hard to harness the power locked deep within them.

This implies that we observe both the internal and external form, shape and texture of our bodies; it would take days to really explore the different parts of our bodies, and understand the complexities they impose. There should not be anyone who knows my body better than myself. We can practice a closer familiarity with our bodies, when there is a pain in a particular part of the body. Instead of saying my body aches, can I specify where exactly it aches? Instead of saying my body aches, can I specify that it is the second vertebra which is paining, or that the seventh? This implies a closer scrutiny of what is happening within our bodies. Once we start narrowing down the pain or ticklish feeling, we will get used to them.

The second thing that requires tuning and training is the human mind, and one of the excellent book which may help us to acquire the basic tenets of mind reading is Echkarte Tolle’s The Power of Now. It is a wonderful book which helps us to discard the many misconceptions and prejudices and help take control of the mind. If we can freeze the processings or the “noise” of the mind, then we would be in a better place to enter into the dynamics of it. But to freeze the thoughts which endlessly pour into our mind, it would take quite an amount of time and energy, but the trouble is worth. If we can enter into the “thoughtless” stage of the mind, which opens up for “silence”, we are entering into the domain of the divine, and that is also the domain of immense psychic power.

Focusing and concentrating on what is happening in me and around me is yet another important requisite in order to harness the psychic power. It is only the persons who are aware of how the body or the mind or the spirit is operating can really evaluate their operations. We need to listen to slightest noise that our psychic self makes; we should focus on even the slightest movement of our hearts, so that we may be able to harness what lies beyond promptings. One of the easiest ways of arresting pain or infirmity is to recognize where it is starting from, and where it is leading one to. Most of the doctors cannot diagnose the disease and so would require many tests, before they could make a few assumptions, often they also could go wrong. Once we are sure of the movements of our bodies, and know how to bring the mind to the stillness, and know how to focus and concentrate, then we will be able to enter into the actual harnessing of it.

Harnessing psychic energy

I believe every human person has a tiny bit of Godliness in him/her; I like the Greek notion of the human beings as ‘demi-god’ (tiny god), because that says that we have the qualities of God. This necessarily implies that to a certain extent we have the power that God has and exercises. The common sensical attributes of God as omniscient (all-knowing), omnipotent (all-capable), and omnipresent (present everywhere) can also be attributed to the human beings, though only in a limited way. It is my belief that the power that we inherit as “children of God” is ever-present and available in ourselves, and very seldom do we recognize it and tap it. If only we recognize the power that lies deep within ourselves, then the medical practitioners may become unemployed.

What do I mean by this? We have immense power and potentiality deep within us that there is no disease or infirmity that we cannot heal by ourselves. The psychic power (later in a different blog, I will come to talk about another power, the cosmic power) unfortunately, is a mine of precious resources, which lies unexplored, untapped. Now why do we not realize and recognize this psychic power deep within ourselves? One of the reasons which comes to my mind is that it requires certain disciplining of the mind-body-spirit, in order to recognize the depth, width and height of this mine. There had been individuals even in our own times who do wonderful works of healing and reconciling persons, using this psychic power. Over the next couple of blogs, I would like to explore ways of tapping the rich healing power that it is capable of.

It may be necessary that I define what I mean by psychic power! It is a power that every human person is endowed with, by the very fact one is a human person. We might find several justifications for the power we have been given, if we fall back on the creation narratives of the conventional religions or the creation myths of different tribes. As believers, we can easily understand that God created us in his own image and likeness, and after creating breathed his own spirit into us. Is it not a wonderful thing for God to do? He is sharing not only his image and likeness, but he is also sharing his life spirit; in other words, he is sharing with us his power and qualities with us. If we fall back on the Bible, there is no question that God shared his very self with us.

We often come across weak and fragile human persons at a spur of a moment achieving impossible and unimaginable works; for instance, it is said that if a baby is about to be run over a moving vehicle, and if the mother of the child were to notice it, she would be able to push the speeding vehicle and save the child. Now where does she get the strength to do this impossible feat? Of course this is the psychic power. Sometimes we wonder how certain persons, so simple and may even be just illiterate, can do some impossible wonders, and they may not be able to explain how they were able to do by themselves, but everyone would know that this is not possible under normal circumstances. These are the illustrations for the use of psychic power.

Now what can we do with this psychic power? There is nothing which we cannot do with the psychic power that we each one of us have; this is like the power which is convertible into any form we may want. You want to build self-confidence, the psychic power can help you; you want to find a suitable job for you or your partner, this can help; or you dream of a home for yourself and your family, but find it hard to find the means, then the psychic power can show you the way to attain your goal. It would be wrong to imagine that using the psychic power we can achieve material benefits instantly. We could look at it as a prescription for the diseases we suffer from. Just looking at the prescription is not going to cure the disease, we will have to purchase the medicine and take them, and that can bring healing. But that requires a special preparation of the body-mind-spirit.

Song for the Seniors

After visiting the ‘home for the aged’ for quite a few times, and interacting with the so-called senior citizens, I feel that one of the greatest and most ominous curses of not only this civilization, but also of the entire human race, it is the practice of the home for the aged. Luckily in many cases, these homes truly home away from home, and if it is being looked after by nuns, one should thank one’s stars for such a privilege. But does our civilization require homes for the aged? Are not every individual is condemned to become aged at some time or other? Why do we not keep our aged with us at home, and hurry up to keep them as far away from their children as possible? I feel sad when I listen to the stories of these aged men and women, they have too many tears to shed than words to utter.

Take for example, this senior citizen, who even past his seventy fifth year, is as agile and normal as a forty year old! Today he came on an official work regarding an exhibition; he is allergic to the hot sun, and so preferred the evening hours to engage in some work, but his memory is as fresh as ever, and no one can ever think that such men should be relegated to homes. He would not like to go, for sure, but on our side it would be a cruel thing to send them much against their wish, to the homes for the aged. I do understand some of these homes have become yet another form of commercial centers, where people could mint money on the gullible filthy rich children, who want to get rid of their parents because they would only be burdens to their private life.

I have come across several senior men and women who contribute more to their families than their children; it is true, the aged men and women are more susceptible of age-related diseases and illnesses, and may require constant medical care; but if they are well taken care of, one may not come across people who are as caring and loving as these are. Traditional rural families cannot think of giving up the elderly, because they are not only precious assets to the community and families, but they are also the one’s, who direct the destiny of the communities. Their wisdom and knowledge is something that even the most erudite of the community cannot equal to. After about sixty, one’s life cycle reverses, and the elderly become like children, and that is why they also behave like little children.

I was not fortunate to live with my grandparents; both my maternal and paternal grandfathers expired quite early in life, one when I was about seven, another when I was some twelve years old; my paternal grandmother died after she began to live alone after the property was divided between the sons, and since our family was not close to her, we had very little feelings for her. However, I had fond feelings of my maternal grandmother who lived up to about 90 years, and had tender feelings for her; even when she could hardly see, she would try to cook for me, and she was so proud of her grandson that she would talk about him to all the people of the neighborhood. I felt what it means to have the affection of grandparents.

If only we realize that grandparents are the treasure house of not only traditional wisdom and knowledge, but also of love and concern for the family, they would be better treated by the present day generation. We might have long abolished the system of homes for the aged, and on the city highways and in trains we may not be able to see the senior citizens begging for food. If this is what we are subjecting our aged parents to, then worse things are in store for us, and it is time that we remedy the situation and bring back the aged to our homes, so that their footprints may sanctify our households, their voices may sweeten the air, their sight may colorize our vision, their touch may make soil into gold cakes, and life will not be the same when they are around. They are our treasure, and it is time that we honor them for what they are!

Security of the Insecure

Walking through some of the main thoroughfares of the city and coming across several people living on pavements along streets, I was wondering what the security of these insecure people is. I have seen the people who are living for almost three generations just in front of one of our houses, look for cover as soon as the rains started pouring, or as soon as stormy wind begin to take their rooftops forcefully. Everyone knows how the families living on pavements with small children suffer during the monsoon, when the members lose their jobs, and have very little to eat. I would like to think aloud about the security of the insecure. I am all the time conscious of my security, be it material or moral or social or cultural, or even spiritual. But what is the security that the people who live on slums and pavements or railway platforms experience?

If I were to take a survey about how the so-called insecure people living on the fringes of the society themselves feel about life, I should be prepared for some startling facts. One of the facts which I hardly ever take into consideration is their happiness quotient. I would think that these insecure people would strangely rank much higher in the happiness quotient than the so-called secure people, you and I, or in that case all those who are living in palatial buildings. No amount of natural disaster or human-made calamities can take away the joy and happiness of these people, and even in the worst of privations, there would still be meat being cooked. What is the secret of the high ranking of the happiness quotient of these people?

We would be surprised to observe that these people have no bank accounts, no savings for the future, no gold and silver jewels, no extra-ordinary electronic gadgets (they hardly burn candles or kerosene lamps, thanks to the street lamps, and how can they use any electronic gadgets), and yet they are happy about life, and nothing seem to stop their zest for life. This is a riddle for which we may have no answer, and even these people may not have any satisfactory answer. Living on the third floor of a building I used to look down on these people often, and they seemed to be having more peaceful sleep with all the noise and pollution than I with less noise and pollution. But I feel my search for an answer to the high rate of happiness quotient in these people is finally arriving at some sort of an orientation.

It may sound again like a riddle, but the security of these people is in their insecurity; I am reminded of a proverb in my mother tongue, which says, why do you need a scarf for a person who had got wet completely. If I am wet thoroughly, I don’t need to protect my head with a scarf; and if we are to apply this theory to the insecure people, we will realize that they have lost almost all the greatest pleasures of life, such as money, possessions, influence, muscle-power, and like Maurya in Riders to the Sea says, there is nothing the sea can take from me, these people could look at the world around and with a beaming smile say, there is nothing you can take away from us. That is where their security lies, and that calls for a serious questioning our so-called securities.

If we dare to learn a lesson from these people, then it is obvious that whatever we consider as the harbingers of true security do not in fact make us secure. This implies that the more we give up and welcome insecurity in life, the more secure we become, and that is when we begin to be happy, and the happiness quotient slowly rises. Is it possible that the haves will ever dare to give up their much hard-earned money, wealth, riches and power to go in vain? It may be painful for someone to give these up, especially if one had risked one’s life and earned it with sheer sweat, but ultimately what matters is not to perish with the riches and welcome an untimely death; those who dare to slowly detach themselves from these worldly securities are sure to gain something far more enjoyable and lasting, true security and happiness.

Singing with the Spirit

It was so very wonderful to hear about one of my friends share her experiences, while attending a workshop for her sisters on planning for the early formation in their congregation. She shared with me on how different persons had to make adjustments in order to bring the discussions to fruition. Each person had something to share, and she had a greater share to contribute, thanks to her far-sightedness and down-to-earth experiences with girls at early stages of formation. The coaxing and prodding of one of her friends to go deeper, had also helped her to think differently, positively and innovatively, which had added color to their discussions.

I believe every one of us has got something to contribute to common meetings and deliberations, but often we come across persons who may not dare to open their mouths, and it may be quite annoying for the organizers to find such persons in big number. There may also be persons who feel shy to speak out what they feel deep within, and therefore keep their insights locked up within their selves. There are others who feel that their viewpoint would be quite sub-standard in comparison with others, and so would not dare to speak out in public meetings and discussions.

I feel that if a person is not able to speak out in meetings or deliberations and contribute his/her view points, that person is not being faithful to the Spirit which moves him/her. No one can say that he/she has got nothing to say about any point whatsoever. It may be possible for a person that it is not easy to grasp the content being discussed, but in that case one can at least say that he/she finds it hard to grasp the content. But keeping mum can only mean that one is closing one's heart to the promptings of the Spirit.

We also come across persons who know how to divert the discussions to the areas they are comfortable with, and thus hijack the entire discussion. It is my practice not to speak more than what I should, even when I know I have more important things to contribute, unless I am specially invited to voice my opinion. There is a tendency in some to parade their knowledge and erudition by intervening too many times during meetings and deliberations, much to the annoyance of everyone else. I need to know how much I should contribute, and should not think that I am the only person to contribute towards the fruition of the discussions.

The people who are overly smart and over confident may be tempted to divert the discussions to areas which are different from the one primarily aimed at, and it would do good if these persons sometimes deliberately keep quiet, and let the spirit move other members of the group. Thus it is not necessary for me to talk, every time I feel inspired; the Spirit too may require some moments of quietness and silence. This would also give me time to realize that I should not hijack even the Spirit, or speak in the name of the Spirit. The Spirit can move anyone in the group to bring home vital points for discussion, and we have no right to tamper with the movements of the Spirit.

Trip through Grace History

It is a wonderful experience to go through the Grace History of each one from time to time; unfortunately after the initial stages of formation at religious life, most of us do not revisit our Grace Histories; some of us may be fortunate to revisit them when we attend some sort of refresher courses. But luckily our Grace History continues in wondrous and mysterious ways, sometimes we may not even pause to take stock of the ways how we are led by God. We are sure to find the footprints of God in every Grace History, and therefore every Grace History is sacred, not only to the persons concerned, but to everyone, who believe in God. It is part of the Universal Heritage that we leave for generations after us.

Maybe I should explain what I mean by Grace History. This is a ‘narrative’ of each one’s journey in faith, how we had been led by the powerful hand of God through thick and thin, and to realize that we are safe under his wings, to borrow a phrase from the Psalmist. Thus every one’s life story is a Grace-story, and we can be proud of our stories, with all the joyful and sorrowful moments. If we look at the most important and significant moments of our life’s journey, we will realize that there had always been an invisible, powerful hand protecting us from all the dangers we had been subjected to, by our own follies or by the vile plans of others. Grace History in other words shows us our road map, the path we had trodden, and that gives us strength to walk forward.

I wish we get more opportunities to visit our Grace Histories more often, not necessarily to find fault with the people who make our life miserable, nor to blame ourselves for the opportunities we missed, nor to regret for commissions and omissions. I remember some years ago we had begun in our Province, what was called ‘live-in’ meetings, and these were wonderful moments for us. Similar age-group men met together for a heart-to-heart conversation; as we reviewed our journeys, we realized that many of our paths intersected at several points, and we felt deeply moved by the histories of several of our friends, and that brought us closer to one another.

I remember there were times, when some of our friends were sharing their Grace History they were on the verge of breaking down. Narrating our Grace Histories is also cathartic (remember the Greek notion of Catharsis, meaning purging), and it purges us of the impurities, short-sightedness, and help us to remove the dust out of our bright spots, and let the light shine. However it is painstaking to enter into a serious and sincere narration of our Grace Histories, because it involves our own failures and successes, pain and agonies, joys and ecstasies, the role of self and others in the course of the journey. Therefore my Grace History is a tiny bit of the history of this world, history of humanity.

Often in life, we have a tendency to only look at the dark spots of life, and refuse to take note of the bright spots, the spots which had been giving light to our journey forward. Though the dark spots are integral to our journey, they alone cannot make our journey; the light and the shadows together make our Grace History. The dark spots may show to us our action, and the bright spots the action of God, and that is sure to help us realize that we are led forward according to a divine plan, and not merely by chance, as agnostics and atheists might claim. It is a great consolation to realize that I have a Grace History that I can share with others, and that our histories intersect, helping us to walk forward hand in hand.

Journey through Darkness

There are very few people who have access to the interior alleys of my life, especially of my past. It is so very frightening to let people walk through the narrow corridors of my tainted life, gathering moss all around, and smelling of filth and decay. My real self is so very different from the one which I pose before people, and there would be very few people who would be willing to accept my true self. Even some of my very close friends dare not walk through the dark alleys of my life, for fear they may have to look at me as someone very different from who they were used to, and that would be too frightening for them to believe, leave alone accept. Thus in most cases I would like everyone around me to believe that my true self is an exact copy of my exterior self. That is how I cheat the world around me.

I know that I have to keep doing this “cheating” for the sake of survival. I cannot afford to wash my dirty linen in public, what will others think about me? The world likes people who are fair-skinned, and it does not even mind people with colored faces; the world cannot accept people who are uncouth, rustic, who are closer to the earth. The world we live in cannot think of the heart of darkness or the darkness of the heart. It is amidst the thick darkness of the heart that I treasure some of the most precious secrets of my life, which is inaccessible to everyone I know of. Even some of my thick friends may not have access to this corner; it may be too frightening to visit this place, because here they might encounter the raw, natural I, and they may not even recognize me.

Yesterday as I was walking along the prestigious Park Street, on my evening brisk walk, I spotted one of the nuns, who was known to me. I went close to her and wished her, but she could not recognize me for quite a while, because she had seen me in my T-shirt and shorts, and she could not believe it was me. After a little while she recognized me, and said that I looked very different. And she was right, I looked very different. If this is the case for people to recognize me, how difficult it would be for them to recognize my real self? How would they respond were they to come to know the darkest secrets of my life, which of shrouded in mystery? Will they be able to accept the unholy, filthy, corrupt self of mine, which is far from the image I had been projecting to them?

There are just one or two people who were able to enter into the secret corners of my heart and have befriended the demon who bears my name; they have realized that this ferocious demon is not as cruel and horrendous as they thought it to be; there is a human heart to it, and it may be more human than several other human persons they know of. It is thanks to their presence that I am able to walk out even without putting on the cloth of a genteel man, who has been tamed by nature to be one of the finest of civilized men. But I cannot forget what had happened in the early years of my life, the different persons who had shaped me and molded me.

It is hard to safeguard the most treasured secrets of my life; I know that I cannot safeguard them all my life, though I had striven earnestly to protect them from men and women who really did not share my vision of life, and who did not want to share my life. But I don’t know how long I could do that, but one thing is for sure, soon I may lose control over these secrets, and they would become annals of every household, and I would see both praise and brickbats for my words and works. If someone dared to cut me into pieces and find my heart, he/she would realize that I had a heart which is so very human and tender, which cries for life, for a clear sky, for the full moon light, for the golden rays of the sun, for the unpolluted air of countryside, for clean waters of the stream… Life is wonderful really!

Harvesting on Hurts

In the recent days, I have realized how easy it is to hurt someone I love and care for, and often I do it without even realizing what I am doing. These are not just passing moments in the daily chores of a person, but moments which make a deep wound in the hearts of the people concerned, wounds which may take days and months to heal, and in some cases they may be carried on for years. One question which faces me squarely today is this : why can’t I stop hurting the very people I love so much? What is the need for me to keep hurting the very people time and again, and what pleasure do I get by hurting others, especially my dear ones?

It is hard for me to recognize the pain which many of my close friends go through when I hurt them deeply, and luckily very few bounce back to charge me for spoiling their peace of mind. Many of them let the hurt take its own time to heal, and wait patiently till then, in order to relate to me as they used to before I hurt them. I also realize that I don’t hurt anyone deliberately with the intention of wounding them, but probably there is somewhere in a corner of my heart, there is an unresolved hurt feeling, caused by whomever it may be, and I only try to give vent to this quite unconsciously, and without realizing the consequences it may create.

If I look at each day, there are very few days when I had not hurt anyone, and it would be quite revealing to me if I were to keep a notebook to jot down the different persons I had hurt each day, and look at it at the end of each week. This can help me to see the picture in toto. I may also need to do its counterpart: enlist all the persons who had hurt me each day, and to take a good look at the list at the end of the week. If I were to put both these lists side by side, there might be something very revealing to me; often I hurt the very people who unconsciously had hurt me, in the spirit of tit for tat. If this spirit continues, it is sure to create uneasy feelings among friends.

Just like every sound that has been produced and let out in the ‘air’ is never lost, but hovers in the universe, and if our technology improves, we may be able to retrieve the sound back, even after several years, so also every hurt feeling that we exchange is never lost, but is in the two or more persons concerned, and it may revive the old wounds even after several years. Proper conducive atmosphere where these wounds can heal, and a proper attitude in the hearts of all concerned, can make a difference in the lives of the people, in order to reap the maximum harvest out of these growth promoting experiences. But there are many who are just frightened of facing any such situation, and they would only love to avoid them, if they can. In such people, there might be very little chance for facing the challenges of life.

I know it is impossible for me to undo the effects of hurting others by saying ‘sorry’, even if it comes from the heart of the person who hurt me, and the same is also true with me when I hurt another person. I feel sad to realize that sometimes I begin to poke into the past wounds again and again making my friends and dear ones go through untold pain and suffering. Though I would like to say sorry to them all, deep down I know that my asking pardon is useless, unless I resolve not to indulge in such cruel and harsh treatments. As a human person I can only try my best in order to take up the challenge, but I would be quite powerless before an inner demon which is activating me to do such things which I do not wish for myself. If only I can identify this demon and do something about it, I would be a better person relating to people with genuine human concern all of us are endowed with.

Seeds of Sensitivity

Insensitivity to the needs of our dear ones is ingrained into the human psyche; we are not talking about insensitivity to the animal and plant kingdoms, but to the clan of our own. Perhaps this is the one and only quality that is needed of the present generation to make life on earth more joyful and happy, and perhaps this is one of the toughest of all challenges this generation has to face. If only we are more sensitive to things and persons around us, then there would be better peace and harmony in our families; if we have sensitivity between the members of the family, each family can boast of an ideal family. But reality is far from this kind of situation, and that is what is ailing our age.

Like everyone else around me, I am no exception to exhibiting insensitivity towards others, especially those who are in any way less fortunate or less qualified or lower than me in social-religious status, and it does not hurt me at all to be cold and indifferent towards them. I often feel justified in being insensitive towards them, and feel they all deserve it from me. Often my relationship with them determines how sensitive or insensitive I am to them. To the people I am bonded, I tend to be alert and extremely sensitive to their needs and necessities, but to those who do not much matter to me, I am indifferent and insensitive.

I have seen that sensitivity towards other persons and to animals and plants is a matter of attitude, not merely conditioned by my personal rapport with them. For instance, if I know that certain group of people are noble and worthy of honor in my sight, then I would tend to go out of my way to make them comfortable and provide them all their needs. Let me illustrate this with an example. Often priests and religious go to attend celebrations which most often end with a festive dinner. While the priests and religious enjoy a hearty meal, their vehicle drivers may be left to starve outside the dining halls. How many of the priests and religious would remember to call them inside and provide them the same meal they take part in? I have noticed that fortunately this part of the world the priests and religious do remember to do this, partly because the drivers are part of their household, their family.

There is one little way how this sense of sensitivity towards others could be cultivated by all, and it is not so difficult to do. If only I look at every person around me as an extension of my own self, then much of the problem of insensitivity would be nibbed already at the bud. This would mean that I should dissociate the persons from all the categories the world had imposed on them, such as social, economic and religious class this person belongs to, the nationality, color, caste and influence he/she enjoys, and this would require certain mental exercise. Once this is done, then it is not difficult to look at the person with new eyes, and I would not need to be excessively alert to be sensitive to his or her needs. I would be automatically impelled to be sensitive to his/her needs.

I have been so appreciative of certain friends of mine, who are so sensitive to the needs of others that they would not bother about their own personal needs and necessities. There is another important virtue they hold, presence of mind. They are often trouble-shooters, and their sensitivity to persons and situations make them so adept to hand tough situations boldly and courageously that they are often in great demand. I feel sensitivity is a divine virtue, and while it is fifty per cent God given, the other fifty per cent needs to be cultivated and nurtured. The people who are sensitive in a society make a lot of difference, and thanks to them we can boast most of our demands are easily met.

Mowed by Machines

There are many people around us, who are used to taking others for granted. The situation may be worse if these people are holding some leadership roles. One of my friends had been taken for such royal ride by one of her superiors that there was very little that my friend could do; when the friend had gathered some courage to talk to the superior about how she felt being taken for a royal ride, the superior tried to pour out a bag full of reasons why she had to do that. Justifications, rationalizations and explanations, these are the tools of the trade with the people who wish to take people for granted, in order to impose their own authority felt among the subordinates.

There is a limit for everything, and the hoi poloi would not mind being taken for granted to a certain extent, but if they are to be considered the non-existent, then there is bound to be a revolt and unhappiness. Such a situation is sure to create uneasy feelings among friends, among superiors and their subordinates, between family members. Generally it is observed that it is only the people who feel they enjoy certain special privileges, that make sure they have to show off their powers which flow from the privileges. In a group, if there is one who exercises leadership role and does not take into consideration the sentiments and opinion of other members and makes a decision for others, it is sure to backfire at sometime or other.

A friend complained about a certain Principal of a school who had been notorious for autocracy. Very seldom had he consulted the other members of his team before he arrived at a vital decision affecting the interests of the students, staff, and the guardians of students. The decisions were most often unilateral, though luckily many of his decisions were based on sound judgment, and so there was no major disaster or confrontation. However, the other members of the staff and his own friends and companions began to avoid him, and treat him as an outcast because of his tendency to take people for granted.

Now behind this simple attitude of taking people for granted, or taking people for a ride, there is an unsaid declaration these people make for themselves: it is only these people who have the brains at right proportions so that they could decide for others, and even help people find answers to all the problems they face. There is also an implicit paternalistic attitude in them, which makes them treat all others as children. This is exactly what Transactional Analysis points to us as an unhealthy syndrome in some which can really create havoc to personal relationships. Many are the victims of such paternalistic attitude, and invariably everyone goes through such experiences.

It is a good thing to assert one’s due rights and privileges, and not allow others treat us as if we are the door-mat; but that demands a good amount of guts and courage. I know some big bosses, who cannot tolerate anyone question their decisions, and if the subordinates ever open their lips against their unilateral decisions, the bosses would make sure to ruin the future of these hapless victims. But I have seen some of my good friends dare to do exactly that and face the consequences, even if they are very harsh and unreasonable. This, I feel, is a wonderful thing to do, to be on the guard so that people are treated with due honor and dignity they are born, and not be treated as a paperweight!

Storms and Silence

There would be too few people who do not know how a storm-stricken village or city appears; the uprooted trees, displaced roof-tops, utensils and beddings of the pavement dwellers strewn all over, the over turned umbrellas, and the pale yellow leaves of trees. But the silence that prevails after a storm could be frightening; except for occasional thunder and lightning, it is not something which people are too happy to welcome. However the hour of storm is no good tidings either. After every stormy situation in life, to get back to normal life is not so easy, and that is all the more painful to return to the pre-storm situation with the wounds and trauma of the stormy nights.

Having gone through several scores of stormy nights, I have realized that each stormy night leaves behind certain scars in me, some of which are indelible, and etched into my memory. I would be wrong to conclude that all the stormy nights had drowned me with melancholy and sadness; I had drawn meaningful and significant lessons out of them, which had helped me to see the path during dark nights of my soul. Thanks to these stormy nights, I have been shaken out of the mediocre, status quo, self-complacency, and am able to wrap up my belt around and get ready to face life as it comes to me in bits and pieces.

Every storm is a reminder to me that there is silence not too far away, and every silence is a reminder to me that the next storm is not too far off! That is how life goes on, and these are the indications for me to be prepared to face the situation in whatever form they may come to me. I long for a storm, in the same way I long for silence after it, because it is impossible for silence to dawn on the land without a storm. Besides it is impossible for me to realize the beauty and splendor of the silence, if I do not know the ruthlessness and ransacking quality of the storm. That is why the English poet William Blake had dared to say, “without contraries is no progression”. We can appreciate light only in the backdrop of darkness.

I need to thank God for all the stormy nights, which had shaken me out of my roots, and had made me shiver to the core, had made me take shelter under the inner resources he had endowed me with; if not for the inner strength which flows from him, it is impossible for me to survive these nights. There had been moments when I had felt it was time for me to be swept away by the currents of the waters, and be lost forever; but soon I had also realized I had no right to run away from life in such a cowardly manner; that would be disgrace not only to this beautiful earth, but also to the entire human race. Storms are part of life, and anyone who fears storms cannot taste the sweetness of silence.

It is because I had gone through several stormy nights, that I am able to give shelter to others who are looking for certain amount of security at the time of their trouble and challenge. I am able to teach them the wisdom of facing the storms boldly and courageously, so that they might taste the sweetness of the silence thereafter. Every storm is a gift of God; we had been longing for the Nor’wester during the past few weeks, as the mercury level keeps soaring beyond all imagination, and we know only storm is enough to cool the earth, and permit the people to sleep in peace, even when the electricity fails. The storms may come when we least expect them, and what is strange, even the weathermen are not able to predict them, and that is the beauty of these angels of destruction, who also usher in the angels of peace and tranquility.

Lessons from Crows

Just outside the window of my room is a tall tree (how sad that I had not known the tree by its name!), and crow couple has been struggling to build a nest for the past two years. And what is beautiful in this couple is that one of them is physically challenged! I don’t know if it is a male or a female, but I assume it is a male, because he had been hunting for food and was feeding his partner often. Crows are not good nest builders, and yet the two had been making all efforts to bring in twigs, wires, grass, and even strings to put up a nest. After spending a few months on a nest, the couple suddenly gave up the nest, and one fine morning I saw them dismantling it! I really don’t know if the couple had a fight over the location of the nest, but it did not seem so.

Just about a month ago, I noticed the female crow recceeing for a different location for the nest, very close to the place they had built their former nest; maybe about a foot distance from the former, and on the same tree. The female crow checked the suitability of the location, and after two days I saw both of them collecting twigs and plastic wires from all possible places. And this time the nest was ready within a week, and the female crow began to sit on it, probably even laying eggs. She sat the whole day, and when it railed one evening, I could see the crow still sitting there quietly. I wondered why she was not moving to another place where she would not get wet! Probably there were eggs, and she wanted to protect them from the rain.

It was study time for me, while looking at the way this couple related to each other, how they moved from one nest to another without grumbling or accusing each other. When I see the so-called physically challenged people begging in the trains and at market squares, I realize that these are the people who are lazy to the core, and instead of following the good example of the male crow, they shamelessly seek to make a living out of begging; and to make things worse, there are many who are moved by the plight of the physically challenged (a good per cent of these men and women only feign to be physically challenged, while in fact they are not!), and dole out money every time they see someone asking for money.

While the animals and plants can live through handicap, even physical, why is it that only the human beings make too much fuss about the handicap? If a crow without a toe can live a normal life, and without ever complaining about it, why is it that men and women make such a hue and cry about their minor handicaps? I found it so moving, when the male crow brought food for his partner every day morning and fed her; it was a wonderful sight. I know among people, misunderstanding is the greatest enemy of relationships; if the channels of communications are destroyed, then everything come to a standstill. But in the case of these crows, life goes on. I guess there could be misunderstanding among them too, but life does not stop there, they continue with life as joyfully as ever.

Each one of us build our own nests of relationships and after sometime we might realize that the nest we had been building does not suit our purpose, and that would be the time to dismantle it and start a different one, all over again. If we realize after sometime that we had been nurturing an unhealthy relationship with a person, it might be necessary to terminate it, and start relating to another person with better vibrations, so that there is enough moral and psychological backup given to us through other persons. We cannot afford to freeze life, it has to go on. I envy these birds who seem to be having a happy and joyful time together, though I have not seen them together too often. Who knows if they have another more permanent abode in the vicinity!

Beyond ‘Reasonable Risks’

There is certain amount of thrill in facing impossible tasks and challenges, things which might appear to be impossible, but when one puts one’s heart and mind to it, it might become easy, and the joy of breaking the so-called barriers can last for decades and even a life time. When a person with normal intelligence and acumen might prefer to limit him/herself with reasonable risks, the dare devils might go beyond the reasonable risks, and thanks to these kind of men and women, we can boast of finding solution to many of the mysteries of the universe and life on earth. If Tenzing Norgay thought scaling the highest mountain on earth was going to be an impossible task, and beyond reasonable risk, then we would not have hundreds of men and women who had ever since reached the top of the Himalayan range.

I love taking risks, not only reasonable risks, but also the risks which would put myself to test. There is no greater test to assess the guts one has, than to push him/her beyond the prescribed limits. Ultimately what it takes to scale the impossible is not merely the brain or the intelligence, but self-determination and confidence. One may have intelligence, but if one does not have the determination and confidence, then the work would suffer failure. Those who had pushed themselves beyond the reasonable risks had reaped a rich harvest, and history is proof to this. It is possible sometimes people had to suffer failure, but that not because the task had been impossible to achieve, but some other elements might have brought down the determination and confidence, thus leading to failure.

But for the daring, even failures are not end of everything; it is only part of the process, and further attempts could help the person to go even beyond the limits of success and achievement. One need not be an IAS (Indian Administrative Services), in order to go beyond reasonable risks; every person is capable of experimenting with this, in whatever situation we are in. Even a simple experiment as sitting at the study table with a serious work can prove that it is not impossible to achieve what has been branded as impossible. We have enough psychological power to even destroy the world in an instant, and if only this power is put to use, life can be very different.

I had the fortune of experimenting with the so-called impossible task in a limited way, and I found it an enjoyable experiment, and since then I have been looking for scaling the impossible heights, and not be complacent with the reasonable risks. For a person who had been used to life in a city with all the comforts it offers, it would be quite impossible to live in a village, where even the basic necessities of life were scarce. Comforts apart, life was quite daring and challenging, and the institution was in a mess after the director had to be removed on medical grounds all of a sudden, and there was no one who had been prepared to replace him. Then out of the blue, I called up my superiors and informed them that I was ready to volunteer to go to that place. From the time I landed up there, I enjoyed every moment of my two year stay.

I have realized that one of the most important dispositions to go really beyond the reasonable risks is to consider the task as a test to one’s self and not so much a task which had been imposed. Failures may occur when one takes it as a task assigned, and not the one which concerned him/her. The second requisite is related to the first : happy to be part of the process, not merely the end. Some are over obsessed with the goal, which they may forget to enjoy every moment of the process of scaling the impossible, and that could be a futile exercise. What happens if for some reason or other one fails in the challenge; it under normal circumstances, should not upset the person, because one has to savor the joy and happiness of the process and not merely the final moment of victory or success. If this is the attitude with which one embraces an impossible, then success is just inches away.

Kissing all the way

It is after quite some time that I am back to my blog, to recapture some of the significant moments of the day, to reflect about them, and savor what life has to offer to me, through me to my friends, and through my friend to me. I felt sad when one of the friends shared about her friends who had been demanding something more than what she could legitimately give by herself. It was about relationship she had been nurturing for the past one year with this young man, who of late had been demanding something more than mere cordial and open conversation with her. He had been, she said, asking her to visit him when he is alone, so that they could “exchange” what is due to both. This had been disturbing this friend, and she could not think of any “exchange” between them, but had been finding it hard to tell him directly about what she felt about this.

She was frank to admit that this young man was not the first person she really “fell” in love with; she had been “going steady” with another young man for quite many years, and she had not been allowing that young man to take undue advantage of her. She desired to keep a safe distance which befitted her special calling, and the many attempts of her first thick friend could not move her from the resolve she had made, and had been quite happy about. But she has felt that she was at a cross-road, and the new man she had been feeling for dearly, had communicated to her in more than clear terms that he would love to exchange certain niceties, which included hugging and kissing. This of course, could only be done in private, when they were alone.

There is reasonable amount of fear in her, that if she were to give in to the demands of this new friend, it could lead her to further submissions, and ultimately could even ruin her peace and happiness she had been enjoying for the past years. But things are not that easy for her, because she had felt over the months that this young man had been coming so close to her, that she felt it was divine providence that they came together, and she would hate to part ways with him. The mutual appreciation that these two experienced had strengthened their bond, and she dare not sever ties, and that had been disturbing her for the past few days. On the one side is her conviction that she cannot let anyone take her for a royal ride, making her do something which her conscience does not allow her to, and on the other is her liking for this person.

I realize that her situation is not so easy to work through; in either way it is sure to pain her, and all that I could suggest her was that she should be faithful to her conscience. If she begins to submit her conscience to the whims and fancies of this young man, and let him take her for a ride, she is sure to experience a guilty conscience at sometime or other. If she has to stick to her convictions, then there are all the chances that the relationship cannot continue, not only because she would not allow him to have his ways with her, but also because this “lakshman-rekha” is sure to put the man at a distance, not allowing him to come anymore close to this woman.

According to me, the lady should choose ultimately what is going to bring her inner peace and happiness, and not necessarily the momentary peace which the friendship and relationship this young man had been fostering with her. It is, no doubt, going to be tough for her, but it is sure to keep her faithful to her calling, her convictions and the kind of value system she had been convinced of for many years. She also shared with me how she had to shun several young man during her past years, when they tried to come too close to her, demanding all too fast “hugs and kisses”. It is possible that the joy of forsaking this unhealthy relationship will be far greater than the joy that the company of this man might give to her; but in that case, she should be prepared to bear the consequences, and stand firmly by her convictions, instead of forsaking them to save the relationship which could possibly bury all her values and convictions. But it is she who has to make a choice!