Great Expectations

No, I am not talking about Charles Dickenson's novel of the same name; that was a classic on its own merit, what I am going to discuss today is about our small and great expectations we have for ourselves and from others. We may take a closer look at how the so-called perfectionists operate and face life and its expectations. If there are people who take life too seriously, it is this group of people. For them, there is nothing on earth, which is trivial or funny; they would like to look at everything seriously. And at the end they make life itself a serious affair, which has to be faced and tackled rather than be enjoyed and relished.

It is true that these people want to make the best use of life on earth, and would go all the way to make hay while the sun shines. They will not leave any stone unturned in order to achieve the goal they have set for themselves. No wonder then that these people are often successful people, but unfortunately not happy people. There is something amiss in the way they look at life. While they strive heart and soul to achieve a goal, they do not realize that the reaching of the goal does not satisfy them. There is an insatiable desire in these people to excel, cross all barriers and shine in the sky. But is life only a pack of successes and nothing more? Is life that is not enjoyed and relished worth its name?

The so-called perfectionists also suffer from the malady of scrupulosity and guilt-feeling; they cannot easily forgive themselves for the opportunities missed; they begin to blame themselves for missing the point while shooting at the goal they have set for themselves. Ultimately these people may also suffer from certain amount of disappointment and depression, because they may not all the time be able to achieve the goals, and these may drown them in gloom and sadness. They may also push themselves to such an extent in achieving the goals, that they may suffer mental and physical collapse, and sometimes the damage created may take too long to heal.

If their personal lives suffer a lot because of the ideals they set for themselves, the same thing is also true when they are in a group. These are the people in a group, who have the fire to go ahead, despite all odds and blocks; they can give lead to the group, even when unasked for. But often they would lay so much of expectations on the group, that they would soon lose the confidence of the group and may fight a losing battle with the rest. They get easily annoyed with the rest of the group for not coming up to their expectations, for not giving their best to attain the goals. They get easily annoyed and irritated, and may even pick quarrels with others. At the end they may find themselves standing alone, and the group standing some where far off!

Is there any way how the perfectionists can tame their temperament to get the best out of life both individually and in a group. First of all, it would be worthwhile for them to ask themselves if the expectations they have for selves and others are reasonable, and if it is achievable. They can shun anything which is far fetched, or beyond the capacity of the group they are working with. And sometimes it would be worthwhile for them to drop their ideal goals and follow the moderate goals set by the group, and be happy with it. In fact, the focus they need to pay attention to, should be the process and not the goal itself. How they relate to others can give a sense of worth rather than blindly reaching the goal!

Flash of Lightning

I didn't know it would happen so soon. It took hardly two hours for my friend who had "doubted" my openness and transparency to return with a 'sorry'. One might think that only proves that I am partly innocent of what she was 'accusing' me of, but in reality it brought to fore something else too. Over the years I had known that my friend was quite frank and open, and does not keeping anything to her heart. She confided with me that she did not think that she would talk about these things, and it somehow popped out of her lips. And she was not even fully aware of what she was talking about!

She was profusely sorry for what she had told me, though quite inadvertently! She told me that if only she had known this would be the consequences of speaking her mind, she would have kept her mouth shut! I realized that at the end she was more disturbed and shattered than I was. Over the phone, I could hear her sob, and I really don't know how many times she said sorry! I was not in need of her sorry, she knew that, because in close relationships these things do happen, and one need not wait for the other person to ask pardon; certain things are not to be taken to heart, and I did not take too seriously what she had told me.

But she could not believe that she dared to disturb my mind at a time when I wanted to have some quiet moment. This time I had to give her assurance that all would be fine after a few hours. After all, the mind needs some time to let things cool down, and at least partially erase some of the painful memories. Given her nature, she would mull over this issue the whole of night, and today I can almost be sure she would say she did not have good sleep, because she was haunted by the painful memories of yesterday. Just as I needed sometime, she also would require some time to assure herself that we are not fully in control over ourselves all the time.

I would not be too quick to brand this entire episode as a typical commonplace 'misunderstanding'! No, I would look at it as a lightning moment, which is powerful and help both of us take a second look at each other as to what our expectations about the other are, and if we are able to fulfill them or not. In a lasting relationship, such moments as this can open up either the Pandora's box, or the dirt under the carpet; in either case, it is sure to have an impact on the future course of the relationship, and I often look at these seemingly painful moments, as part of the growth process. It is time for pruning, and the process is painful for sure!

I know that what had come out of the lips of my friend, even without her knowing it, cannot be sidelined as unjust allegation; no person with a little love for me can ever do that! The lightning flash has shown me a dark corner of her heart, and it is for me to ponder over this, and dispel the darkness! It may take me months or years to do this, or it may continue to remain in her heart for ages, despite my many attempts at working on it. Or there may be another lightning flash which may dispel that darkness and make us see each other as we truly are, and not as the one's with an inaccessible secret corner in the heart!

Transposing Transparency

I got a shock of my life, when she told me that I was not transparent enough to her, that I was not sharing with her about my 'friends'. After months, I got this severe jolt, and I was not prepared for it. My friend had a doubt, and she wanted me to clarify it, and I found myself in a helpless situation how to explain to her, or prove to her that I am quite open and transparent to her and that I had nothing more than what I had been telling her all these days and months. But still she felt that I was hiding something from her. There are certain things in life, which cannot be expressed in words, and today I felt strongly that I ran short of words!

Human life is a web of relations, one linked to another. Sometimes the web is shattered by reasons beyond one's control, and certain contacts fall instantly, and some others get strengthened. The ones with very little significance cannot bear the jerk, and fall off even before the jolt; the ones which have stuck to the heart are prepared to bear any amount of jolt and may only feel that their grip has been strengthened. We live in a world where we cannot live with exclusive relationships; even in marital relationships, there is scope to have friends, well-wishers, relatives, and that is the web of friends and neighbors who would come to one's aid, when s/he is in trouble.

When I tell someone that I do not believe in exclusive relationships, she often misunderstands me, and I had enough of trouble because of this conviction of mine. There are very few people who really see my point : I was touched by this wise saying of Tony De Mello: my happiness does not depend on anyone else other than myself. I decide if I want to be happy or not; no one will have the right over me, concerning my happiness. In an exclusive relationship, I expect that my happiness would depend on my partner, and vice versa. If something were to happen to my partner, then my happiness is doomed. Should I allow this kind of predicament to me?

All human relations are woven on the basis of mutual trust; when doubt surfaces in the mind of any one of the partners, then the relationship is bound to break into pieces. It is not that doubts do not rise in the mind of partners, but they will have to be clarified, and sorted out as soon as possible, or else the doubts will eat up the relationship, and too soon it will be in tatters. But what I can I really do when such a doubt rises in the mind of my partner/friend; what can I do to dispel doubt from the mind of my friend, and resume the former relationship we had been cherishing for years?

I am not feigning ignorance in this matter, but do feel helpless sincerely. If human relations should depend on proofs and witnesses, then there are less chances that any lasting relationship could ever be possible. I do understand, if I had not given any scope to my friend to doubt my trust, she would not have done so, and therefore I am partly responsible for making things this way, and will have to crack my mind to find an amicable solution to this problem. I know for sure that time is a great healer, and if I do give enough time for these things to settle down, probably I may find that the doubt has evaporated in the meantime!

The Smart Passers

It is unfortunate that some of the smartest persons are not the most admired persons by a cross section of people. We know that the smart people are those who have a fairly high intelligence (we may say they have a good IQ), endowed with a lot of qualities which make them enviable persons; on the other side of the spectrum, we may find that these are people who have low on emotional quotient (EQ) and that may cause their downfall. Therefore being smart has its own share of disadvantages, especially when it comes to inter-personal relationships. Today let us reflect about such people, what makes them tick, and what makes them some of the most abominable characters on earth.

He is highly talented, gifted for languages, excellent organizer (who even while remaining inside his room, could organize a mammoth crowd, with perfect and calculated order and discipline), charming person, especially to the members of the opposite sex, shrewd and calculative to the core. He is quite popular among the people, but not among the people he lives with. There is one difference: the people who live with him know him thoroughly, while those others know him from only what they see and hear. People of this category are like sugar-coated pills, they may get their work done by hook or by crook, and dump the people who helped them until they would need their help.

While some of us youngsters were living in a Jesuit community some years ago, we have a companion, who loved to hold too many portfolios, though his ill-health restricted his movement, but he was more than happy to be in full control over the place. There were two young men who had come for a year's experience in that place, and were in a sense computer savvy. So whenever this companion wanted some work to be done by these two youngsters, in the morning, during breakfast he would be seen wishing the two companions good morning, and enquire from them how they were. Soon these two friends found out that whenever he came to wish them good morning, there was a work to be done. So it happened so that in the morning if they found him coming to the dining room, they would run away from the place.

The so-called smart people have many trump cards to play with. One of their excellent cards is the ease with which they would be able to pass their responsibilities on to others, most often the gullible and the vulnerable. They are ace passers of bugs. You would find them always busy, though if you try to probe what they were busy with, you would be disappointed to find that they were not preoccupied with any work, but they only pretend to be busy. Their sweet words would melt even the mighty stones; you may never hear any harsh word from them. While they talk sweetly to you, they may not be all that charitable about others, and you can be sure that when they talk to others, you may be one of the favorite subjects!

I consider people of this sort as venom, slowly poisoning the society we live in. While they get all their work done by any means possible, they themselves may not do any thing, not even their own responsibilities. Alas for those who associate with these men and women, for they may be too soon enticed by gifts of all sorts, and will find themselves hooked to their gentle orders. If you are able to see through their trickery and keep a safe distance, you may fall into their bad books, and may fall out of their favor too. But that would only save your skin, besides your strength and energy. Beware of these people, for you do not know when they may entice you and make you do their bidding!

The Sweet-Talker

It was not a pleasant experience! I called up a senior friend of mine yesterday to ask for an official favor, that is to say, a favor not for me personally, but on an official level. And the friend, who addresses me always as a younger brother, sounded very enthusiastic at what I was asking for, and he readily complied to my request. He invited me to attend a meeting too regarding the favor I was asking him, and later during the day he called me up to say that he was postponing the meeting to today morning. But when I reached his place to attend the meeting, with the hope that the request had been agreed upon, and we were to plan out things for a common program.

It came as a rude shock for me to realize that the people concerned about this common program were not in one mind; there were differences of opinion, and I was blind to it. My senior friend had not told me when I asked him about the possible problems and inconveniences. So when we began the meeting, there were arguments and counter arguments. I who had taken for granted that consent had been given to hold the common program in friend's place, got a message quite different from the one I was given to understand. It was an embarassing situation, as every one spoke about the pros and cons. But I found it hard to save my face, because I really did not know what the main problem was.

I was quite disappointed by the opposition posed by certain members, and I found it uneasy at that moment to counter them. I had already announced that the common program was to be held at that place, and it would be quite cumbersome to change the venue; that would only confuse the invitees. I even heard my senior friend say then that it would be better to shift the program to some other place, but it was difficult for me to do that, because I had already announced the venue. Luckily I had to meet our printer to give him the material for printing, and so I had to move out of the place for about fifteen minutes.

Thank God, when I returned to the place after meeting the printer, the situation had cooled, and the members were in a much better mood to discuss and decide. All agreed that the program could be held there, and necessary arrangements would be made by people concerned. I was happy that at last all the members together consented, and that my burden had been lightened. I really had a sigh of relief, when I heard all people concerned, agreed to take charge of the entire program. But I was still not sure where the problem was, which put the members in a fix in the beginning?

I did get the answer when I met another younger friend of mine, who told me that my senior friend was not too happy to hold the common program in his place, and was complaining to other members about the inconveniences. But why could he not tell me when I called him to ask about his opinion? Unfortunately my senior friend belongs to the category of people who wish to please every one on earth. While people of this sort have sweet words for people who ask them a favor, at the heart they are quite sour, and in order to protect themselves, they would pass the bug on to others. My friend, who had been known as an excellent organizer, would not like to take responsibility, but wanted others to own up the proposal. Since better sense prevailed among other members, my day was saved!

Never-Loser!

I don't much believe when people say that healthy competition can bring the best out of people! I don't really think any competition can be healthy, because of the simple fact that human beings cannot easily tolerate others when it comes to a race. When you announce a wonderful prize, even the lame would think of joining the race, and if people want to win by all means, then they will not bother about the means they choose to achieve their goal. It might become a matter of life and death, and where is the scope for friendly competition, and getting the best out of people. In fact, competition may be the occasion when not only the best, but the worst may also surface.

It always happens on the road. When I am on the road on a motorbike, and see a stranger speeding and passing by me, I am hurt, and I turn the gear spontaneously with the hope of throwing this stranger behind me; there is a silent competition, and I cannot let the stranger ride his bike faster than me. Unconsciously I feel I am a loser in comparison to this stranger, who is a completely new person and whom I will never meet in life! But on the road, you cannot talk about healthy competition. If someone is going to over take me in speed, it is shame on me, and I have to show that person I can ride the bike faster than him. The joke is that that person may not even be aware that I felt threatened and wanted to over take him!

The fact is, it happens all around us. Not only on the road. When I go for a walk in the evening at the nearby park, I often would like to make sure that no one overtakes me, that I am faster than all the others. When there is a smart looking youngster over takes me, I feel terrible. I chase my feet, at times even putting undue pressure on the poor legs. Wherever and whenever there is a competition, I would like be the winner, whether I am qualified to even take part in it. There is an in-built mechanism in me to win all the time, irrespective of the field of specialization or the occasion. Does the notion of healthy competition ever occur to me? I really don't remember that happening in real life situation.

But I cannot allow myself to enter into uninvited competition in all the places at all time; that would only lead me crazy. I cannot stop getting into the road, lest someone overtakes me; nor could I stop going for my customary evening walk. I have felt a way of handling this situation and it is quite simple. Before I get into my motorbike, I tell myself that I am not the best rider on earth, and instead of entering into an uninvited ad hoc competition, I would acknowledge that I am not going to compete with anyone, not even with myself. I don't really care if someone wants to show off that he/she can rider better than me, faster than me! It really does not matter to me. If I really mean these words, then there are possibilities that I may return home sane and safe.

There is a secret way how I can always win in a competition - it is for me to determine if I win or lose. The magic mantra is this : I deliberately and consciously decide to be out of competition. I am not going to prove to anyone (least of all to myself) that I am better than all the rest. I am aware of what I am, and am satisfied with my performance in the past and in the present. I am happy with my credentials, and need no more, especially from the once-in-a-life-time strangers. This sort of self-talk can take me a long way in reaching the full potentiality I am truly capable of.

The Fire-brands

I am amazed to see how some people are full of energy and vitality even when they have crossed the threshold of a successful career. Some used to say there is no retirement for the people with a zest! They might be tinkering the coffin, even after being buried, because they cannot keep quiet even for a minute! It is a joy to come across people of this category. Mind you, I am not talking about workaholics, who believe in working for the sake of it, but am referring to the people who enjoy the work they do. They are, as it were, married to their job, and would forego a meal or even biological need in order to get something done!

We often come across the people of the other category too, people who do not believe in giving their best, but be satisfied with the minimum they are expected to give. These are the dead bodies, walking on our streets, they have neither life nor vitality. They would delight in eating, sleeping, gossiping and indulge in everything that is unhealthy and harmful to oneself and the wider society. These people are the one's who become a pain in the neck of the people of the former category, and alas, if you get one of this type as your partner! Your life will be ruined within weeks or months. Before you change them, they would have converted you to their company!

Life can be a lot of fun only when we get into what we are busy with; it may be a silly routine job, or a highly creative process. It is the same with people who know how to turn each moment a magical memory! Some of the modern day messiah's have proposed one way of getting the best out of life. Take for instance, Eckhart Tolle, while proposing the Power of Now, has invited us to dissociate ourselves from the mind by savoring the present moment. Being present to the every moment can make us realize that life is not just a fleeting instance, but one which can make a dry stick bloom with a thousand blossoms! For these people, even deserts will be covered with oasis all the stretches!

The universe still has a breed of men and women who can defy nature and time, and contribute their little mite for the benefit of the world. These are the people who stop aging, and their biological clock as a matter of fact, moves in reverse. To come in touch with even one such person is like a piece of iron coming into the presence of a powerful magnetic field. You get drawn to, and it might be too hard for the iron piece to get out of the magnetic field. While being in touch with magnetic field, the iron too is magnetised, and when it leaves the magnetic field, it carries with it powerful magnetic current, and that can change the world around!

I call such men and women modern day sages and saints, who have the potentiality to change the face of the earth. It is possible that the world can boast of only a negligible per centage of men and women, who can ignite the lives of others, who can set the world on fire. The men and women with zest for life, are the treasure house of any society. It is not what they do, which nourishes the society at large, but their very presence is enough to inject new life and vitality to all around them. Such people never experience death; they only pass from one phase in life to another, and even their memories are sure to spread the magnetic field far and wide. The aura of their sanctity is the food for the world today!

The Weather-beaten

There was once a lovely little flower plant. It was protected from all rain and shine, thunder and lightning and it enjoyed the cozy life indoors. Everyday in the morning, the master of the house would carry her tenderly and leave her to swim in the tender rays of the sun, and as soon as the sun began to scorch, the master would carry her back to the little niche he had made for her, and keep her for the day. Again when it is evening, he would leave her to savor the gentle breeze gliding over her, and take her back to her niche before he retired for the day. This had been the life for the flower plant, until when the master decided to take her to the garden, and transplant her there.

The little plant was still tender, but wanted to show to her master that she had the enough strength and stamina to fight against any oddity that may militate against her. The day she was planted in the garden, all the other plants looked at her appreciatively, and admired her youthful vigor, and the beauty that she brought to the garden. But when the sun began to scorch, there was none to protect her, and when a gust of wind chiddingly hit her hard, there were no protective hands of the master. She stood alone, waiting for someone to protect her from these aliens!

There were other plants, who whispered into her ears, worry not dear, you will soon get used to all rain and shine, thunder and lightning. Your tender body will become strong enough to resist all alien attacks. Your delicate body will become supple to dance with the wind, and take part in the cosmic dance of all plants and animals. She looked at the plants all around her, weather-beaten, shaggy and shabby! When the cosmic dance began, the lovely little plant would hop around, swaying her slender body, enchanting even the gods. But the old plants stood still, unable to contribute anything for the show of strength.

The little flower plant began to tell herself: why can't these old plants just give themselves to make this dance a collective effort. We only the young ladies do our best, why are the old ones not interested in this wonderful event. She began to grumble against every senior citizens of the garden, and at times in her anger would knock the old plants around her. She was the angry little plant, who others thought was too proud of her status and had begun to look down upon the seniors, who had their day, and were counting their days to receive farewell from their master.

One day one of the senior plants invited the lovely little plant close by, and after appreciating her for the new life she had brought into the garden, put forth a few questions to the little plant: have you ever seen a storm? have you ever been subjected to submergence in the flood waters, and could not find the land for weeks and months? Do you know what it is to be knocked down by a lightning? Have you ever seen the summer noon day Sun, roasted by the scorching heat? You are still too young dear, and you have still miles to go before you can tell the world that you have something to offer to them.

The lovely little plant was speechless for a while; she then realized that her journey into the world has just begun, and she should not have the audacity to sit in the seat of judgement to judge the world around. The following days were formative, and she began to feel the heat and cold, and her tender body began to swell and shrink; there were flakes coming out of her delicate body, and a thick skin formed over her, and she began to lose the childhood charm and the youthful magic; but she knew she was being toughened by nature to face the future ahead. She continued to dance, but the beauty now was not in her body, but in her dance, which flowed from her inner self!

Ringing the Sensitivity Bell...

Sensitivity to one another is a quality that can be applied only to human persons; to my knowledge, there is no animal or plant which shows a quality of sensitivity to their kith and kin. We are able to measure the atmospheric pressure, the movement of the planets, the stirrings of the ocean waves and their currents and predict what is to happen. Weather forecast has become withered forecast, with most of the predictions not coming true. You might expect a heavy shower when the Metereological office predicts shine, and you might expect a dry weather, when the Met forecast rain. But there is some truth in what the forecasts project.

I wish we have discovered a machine which would read the mind of other persons, and give signals to our mind to respond accordingly. For instance, if my mind forecasts that my neighbor is angry, then I would know I should not add fuel to the fire. In fact, our bodies give enough and more signals to others about the mental, physical and psychological state we are in, but there are not too many people who are capable of reading these signs and respond accordingly. If only we have mastered the art of reading the signs of our bodies, both mine and others, then half the problems, misunderstanding and conflicts can be avoided.

Sensitivity basically relates to the situation when I read what the other person is going through, and responding in such a way that there is no barrier in communication. This is possible only with human persons, because to observe, evaluate and make a judgement on the basis of the observation and evaluation is not something that is possible with other animals and plants. Lack of sensitivity is an everyday reality with most of us, especially when we live in a community or a family. Women are proverbially known for their sensitivity, responding to the situations appropriately. But can men be left far behind?

We may hurt the very people we may love so dearly, but being blind to their situation, both known and unknown, may pain the person only more and more. We may often hear our dear one's sigh: but how could you be so insensitive? Insensitivity indirectly implies that I do not or cannot give my whole hearted attention to the person I am attending to. My mind may be distracted, or my attention divided, or I may be preoccupied with a hundred and one things. No wonder then we are less sensitive towards the people we care less, and are often overly sensitive towards the people who matter.

Having known the past history of a friend, I should have been careful not to poke into the wounds of the past; but when I do it, both consciously and unconsciously, the person does not protest, and it had taken me quite a while to realize that I was touching a sensitive nerve of the person. If this situation were to continue, there may come a time, when that person would only try to avoid being open and transparent with me, and even reduce being in touch with me, for fear that I might inadvertently poke into the past wounds. It is possible for me to be open to the numerous verbal and non-verbal communication through which I am forewarned, and it is for me to be forearmed, so that I do not stab into old wounds!

Name the Devil!

Let me acknowledge I am notorious for not remembering names, even of people who had been interacting with me for days and months. And to be frank, I don't make any serious effort to remember names of peoples. And what is strange, I can remember the names of some people, without any effort, even after our first meeting, I know the name of the person, and can remember even after weeks and months. That only shows how my mind works! Surely the mind captures and registers the names of only the persons who really matter to me! Not any Tom, Dick and Harry, or any Mary Kutty, Sonali and Rupali! The mind has its own logic, some times quite queer and wierd, but that is how it works!

I know how important it is to name persons and things. Names represent the person, and his/her identity. To remember the name of a person is to say that I care for him/her, and if I don't or can't remember a person's name, that simply shows that person does not much matter to me (at least in the same way as I matter to him/her)! If naming matters greatly in human relationships, it matters all the more in handling what goes on deep within! A person who can name what goes on deep within, also knows how to manage life, its tough storms and thunder, rain and shine! But it is an art to really name the intricate play of reason and feeling, which incessantly run on the mindscape.

I had said in my earlier blog that fear holds the key to the downfall of many of our dreams, to the destruction of all that we are capable of! When fear takes charge of my being, I become just a victim of all the persons and situations around me, a helpless victim, who has but no control over anything whatsoever. I had also said that one way of overcoming the imposing power of fear, is by recognizing it attempting to cripple my life little by little, and that will lead me to defeat fear! But still one may not be too sure that the fear has left him/her for good. There is a way to make that sure.

If I don't stop with recognizing fear, but attempt to name each one of them, that is where I not only exorcise fear from my inner being, but also remove it from its roots. That is the way to make fear powerless, that is the way to cripple fear, before it cripples me. Most often fear exists in us in a nebulous way, and it is hard to really hold it. The moment when you thought you had caught hold of it, it slips from your hand, and you are caught chasing the wind uselessly. But wait for the fear to approach you, and don't go in search of it! It will knock at your door when you least expect it; if you are prepared to tackle it, then you will catch it before it enters into your room.

Put that label, which best fits the fear that is attempting to overpower you, and stick it on to it, and your job is done. You can then rest in peace, for there is nothing more that you need to do. It works like a magic; fear will depart you the very moment it is named and labelled. By naming it, you have exerted power and control over it, and it cannot chase you any longer. You are the master of the situation now, and it will do your bidding, whatever that may be. From that moment onwards, fear will fear you, and will even run away from you, for fear you should put it to shame. Be bold enough to bid a joyful farewell to fear, for when fear departs from you, the doors of happiness and peace are opened wide for you to enter!

Frowning at Fear

Is there any person on earth, who is not afraid of any thing under the sky? If ever there is one, then I would be tempted to take my hats off to him/her, whoever that be! It is not that I don't believe there can be a person who is completely fearless. We may come across one in a thousand, who can frighten even the worst of all enemies, the death! But I realize that there is nothing more dangerous and more crippling to life than fear, and if we think seriously about what we are afraid of, we may be surprised to know that most often we do not know what we are afraid of. Because once we know what we are afraid of, then the fear takes leave of us immediately.

Often we are frightened of phantoms of our imagination, which have no correspondence to reality outside. In other words, what we are afraid of, are the creation of our imagination! Some may say that the fears have their origin in hallucinations and hallucinogens and phantasmagoria! The words may sound too big, but what they say is this: we create our own phantoms, which threaten to kill us at a time when we are weak and vulnerable. One of the ways how to over come fear is by confronting the phantoms squarely. Ask yourself, what am I afraid of! No vague answers, but direct concrete answers. If this exercise is repeated three times, then the fear may not be there at all.

But we need to face a more vital question: how and why do I create phantoms of my imagination? The answer is rather simple: we cannot face raw reality, because it is too frightening, and life-threatening. We would like to face sugar-coated reality, something that is mild and gentle. So our mind creates phantoms according to our liking, and these phantoms cannot kill us, because they survive on our fear; but they can lead us to situations where we feel helpless and need to fall back on to them. One way of tackling them is, by realizing that they are as frightened of us as we are frightened of them.

Fear of known things and persons are more within the purview of our control, while fear of unknown is something that is more dangerous. The fear of the unknown can strike at a time when the person least expects, and the the consequences could be quite costly. It will be beneficient to think that most of the fear, which are based on unknown persons and things and events, will lead us to some known fear, because we human beings cannot think in a vacuum.

One way how to treat people with fear of any sort is to look at their fears from rational point of view. The very fact that most of the fears are based on irrational, imaginary concoctions, they are easy to tackle. Take for instance, if a person is afraid of ghosts, start analysing this fear: has the person every seen one? when, where and how? has anyone else seen it? These are questions which can make the person realise that the fear was simply the creation of his/her mind. But there is a fear which is not easy to tackle, and it may take quite a while to really overcome: fear of oneself, of one's conscience, of consciousness! But that is an altogether different story!

Defeating Differences

First time in years I witnessed an auditorium overflowing with people; there were more people in the hall than it could accomodate. When all seats were full, more chairs were brought in from all possible places, and still there were more than fifty people standing and watching the song and dance performance by two of my companions. One a folk singer and another a classical dancer, and what may look strange, both of them are staying under one roof, in one Jesuit community. One may wonder, but how can that be possible? Folk and classical in common parlance, cannot co-exist; there is an in-born rivalry between the two, and in that case how is it that a folk singer and a classical dancer live peacefully in one house!

Over 25 years of training (or you may call it brain-washing), has made the two friends to go beyond their area of specializations and think in terms of looking at the common meeting points. We live in a world where differences are greatly highlighted, and similarities are often submerged by the overpowering differences. Some call them asserting of one's uniqueness, which makes one what s/he is. But then how do we account for the similarities, sometimes so very striking that we cannot help but vibe with one another?

The world would be a very different place if only people begin to look seriously at the similarities and leave the differences out of the matters of comparison. If there are so much of religious hatred and vengence, and brutal killing of one another in the name of religion, it is all because we had failed to look at the similarities we share, but only look at the differences. If we can only look even superficially the similarities we share in all spheres of life, then we would be foreced to acknowledge that we are all brothers and sisters, children of one mother!

But unfortunately there are people in the world around us who would not like us to acknowledge the similarities we enjoy, but only would project the differences, because that is how their hidden political agenda would be fulfilled. There are people who would not hesitate to make use of people in order to fulfil their ego. But anyone who is endowed with conscience and balanced consciousness would be propelled from deep within to shun any attempt to look at the differences with a magnifying glass, and look for similarities at all walks of life.

Can the folk be opposed to the classical? Where do they differ? These two are just two labels, and the difference is made by the people who wish to keep the differences in order to keep their status and privileged position. Some times down the century, the folk traditions were attributed to the people from the lower strata of society, while the classical traditions were attributed to the educated, high caste/class people. But times have changed, and it is time that we change our mentality too. The next time when I meet a stranger, and begin sharing with that person the similarities we share, I am sure to make him/her a friend in no time. For, who does not like a common ground where I feel the security of having people who are very much like me! That is the beginning of true human community!

Fast in Fellowship

I know many people in India think of the former chief minister of Bihar, Sri Lallu Prasad Yadav as a clown in Indian politics, one who can amass public money property shamelessly, and even justify doing so publicly. He has been credited to have turned the ever loss-making Indian railways into a profit making one, which made the world take note of his USP. But I have a soft spot for this Bihari for several reasons: he is a man of the soil; he might have made a fortune out of the fodder scam, but he is also the one who believes in taking care of cows, and sometimes does not feel shy to pose milking the Jersy cows for photographs!

Needless to say, Lallu's wisdom is rustic, untouched by scientific and technological advancement. There are sparks of rustic wisdom in his speech, and one is left to amusement at the wisdom of this man, who however fails to apply such wisdom to reality. While many parts of the country are going through drought-like situation, Lallu had proposed a way to partly overcome this drought, which for the most part is human made. Citing the example of Jagdivan Ram, who during the time of drought in the early years of Indian independence, invited the citizens to fast once a week, Lallu invited the present generation to skip their meals (at least one meal) one day a week!

I found this simple solution not only innovative, though the credit goes to Jagjivan Ram, but it also challenges the people who are responsible for creating such a situation. It is also a challenge to the ever-increasing human greed and avarice. I welcome the idea whole heartedly, and propose an improvement of this idea as follows: It may be hard to skip the meals a whole day, since most of us would not have energy to work if we don't eat the whole day. So here is a way out. On alternative days, I can skip a meal; on monday I skip breakfast, on Wednesday lunch and on Friday supper. At the end of the week, I had skipped three meals, equivalent to not eating for a day.

Doctors recommend fasting as a means of staying healthy, and there are people who fast to keep themselves trim. But fast that is proposed has a wider social message, not only purely personal. What is important is not just to skip a meal, because that may not affect the world around. But then there is a way to make this simple act of fasting meaningful to a wider society. I cannot eat up what I save out of fasting on other days. If I feel the pain of those thousands of men, women and children going hungry to bed each day, then I will keep the grains, pulses and vegetables I save each week, and hand it over to the people who are in dire need of them. In this way, while I feel the hungry stomach, I can see the smile in the face of the hungry children.

Living very close to the VIP road of the City of Joy, I can see on weekends there is no parking space around our house. There are hundreds throng in and around Music World in Park Street, prepared to dole out some money to eat outside. If all these eateries, both big and small, were to pull their shutters once a week, save the food and money, and hand them over to the most deserving children, men and women, then we will see the world changing rapidly.If all men and women earning a salary or wage were to pause for a day in a month, and hand the money for those who lack basic amenities of life, then the world would be a better place for all of us.

The Flowers... Unplucked!

There is no other creature on earth, which is as possessive as the human beings are. We want to possess everything which may seem beautiful, everything which sounds soothing, everything which tastes palatable... we cannot wait to think about the cost, we have to get them by hook or by crook. If we cannot move the Kanchanjhanga to our drawing room, then we have to at least get its replica (even if it only on a glossy sheet of paper) framed on the walls of the room. If Taj Mahal cannot come to my study, then I move the picture of it to wherever I wish it to be! There is an insatiable thirst in human beings to possess whatever is good!

It is my personal conviction that nature is at her best, in her habitat! The real beauty of a freshly-bloomed blossom is not when it sits on the table, with an ornate vase holding it tightly, but when it sways from its plant. The blossom may feel feeble and weak, when hanging recklessly from the plant, but it adds to the overall beauty that the plant may evoke in a person. If the flower plants had a voice to speak out, they may plead with human beings not to sever them from the plant! But I do understand if we stop plucking flowers, our life would be quite different.

We might try our best to recreate natural surroundings to accomodate the lovely flowers we admire and treasure, but any artificial surrounding cannot produce the natural results as we would wish to. Taming a ferocious tiger, putting her behind a celler and asking her to pretend to be ferocious in a zoological garden is asking for too much. You cannot put a pair of love birds inside a cage, and ask them to make love! If that were true, then the earth may not be the best place for human beings to be what we truly are!

There is a move among eco-conscious men and women today not to offer flowers to welcome dignitories, but instead they would love to offer each of the dignitories with a flower pot, so that they need not keep the bouquet and throw it in the dustbin the next day, but care for the plant, and enjoy the flowers it may yield! Keeping flower plants in a pot is surely an artificial arrangement, but what prevents them from transferring the plant to the soil back at home? If more and more people were to do this, then we may find more flowers on the plants dancing to the tune of the wind and rain, creating a thousand magical moments in our mindscreen.

I am not a fanatic animal lover, like some people are, who might go to any extent to show that a lot of violence is done to animals, and there are non-vegetarian animal-lovers too, which is an oxymoron. But I would love not to pluck flowers so that we can feast our eyes. Thank God, there are boards in public gardens, requesting people not to pluck flowers, because if I pluck a flower, only I may enjoy the beauty of the flower; but if the flower continues to be on the plant, more people will be able to be charmed by its beauty. Next time, when my hand rushes to pluck a flower... I hope to pause and let the flower be where it is, but I may have a long look at it, appreciating its beauty and fragrance!

Coughing all the Way!

It is not a pleasant experience to have cough, be it wet or dry. Having dry cough is worse, because it pains not only the throat, but also the chest! After experiencing the nagging cough the past 10 days, about 5 days with wet cough, followed by a good share of dry cough! I had followed literally and seriously all the suggestions I received from my family people and friends, to ward off the cough, and finished off one full bottle of cough syrup, but nothing seems to be improving! But then I know there should be a way out!

I waded through the internet, seeking some more simple home remedies to get out of the cough, and just a click of a button at the Google was all that required for me to get half a dozen ways to fight dry cough off. Let me acknowledge that this is not my creation, but ways of traditionally handling cough! The ideas are presented here with the hope it might benefit someone who is in need.

First of all, what is a cough and why do we cough? Coughing is the natural reflex of a body to feeling of irritation in the throat. There are basically two types of cough - Wet and Dry. The wet cough is often accompanied by mucus or phlegm while dry cough is one where there is no mucus and the throat hurts a lot due to dryness. Dry cough can arise due to plenty of factors like smoking, excessive exposure to pollution, dust or any other allergy, etc.

The most effective treatment for dry cough is by natural and home remedies. These remedies have been proven useful much before medicines came into existence and became popular. Check out some popular natural and home remedies for treating dry cough.

• Extract the juice of ginger and mix it with honey. Take this 3-4 times a day for quick relief from coughing.
• Gargles are always effective for treating dry cough. Take some lukewarm water with a bit of salt and gargle. Alternatively, you can prepare a decoction of henna leaves for treating dry cough.
• Take a small and fresh piece of ginger and peel off the skin. Sprinkle a pinch of salt on it and chew it, taking the juice inside. It is very effective in treating dry cough.
• Take 3-4 balls of black pepper and with of caraway seeds with a hint of common salt. Suck on it for some time and you will notice instant relief.
• Take one gram of turmeric powder and mix it with a teaspoon of honey. Take this 3 times a day and dry cough will vanish away quickly.
• Prepare ginger tea by adding ginger when the water begins to boil and before you add tea leaves. Put in a pinch of pepper powder and 3-4 basil leaves. Drink hot and feel your throat soothing down.
• Before going to bed, drink hot milk with some honey. This will provide instant relief from dry cough and also make sure that you have a sound sleep.

Home Remedies

We live in a world, where there is no place for simplicity. Anything simple and easy is considered unscientific and naivette, and relegated to wastepaper bins. We love to have sophisticated solutions to simple problems, and do believe that simple solutions cannot tackle simple problems. Even a common cold and cough can find the physicians cracking their minds to provide the best medicine possible, but it generally takes us more time than we could think of to understand that there are certain solutions which are far too simple and can do the miracle than the highly complicated solutions which technology has provided us with. Home remedies is surely a fast-disappearing art, and if we want to regain health and fair amount of healthy living, we need to return to our grandmothers, with a scrap notebook in hand.

I am not fortunate enought to run to my grand mother, for both my paternal and material grand mothers are no more; nor did I really have a very close relationship with them to milk the juice out of their knowledge base, their rustic wisdom. Luckily I have my mother, who retains not only the rustic look, but also character and quality in her knowledge of simple home remedies which had been practised for centuries, but being buried under the weight of modern technology. When I am in need of a simple solution to a simple problem, my mother often would have one, and it would often come unasked for. The beauty here is no consultation fees required, and it comes with an extra dose of love and care.

After being stuck down by common influenza, with resultant cough, cold, fever, body ache, I got a call from my sister; after recommending a home remedy, she passed the phone on to my mother, who verbatim repeated what my sister had briefed me. And in the evening I was in the kitchen to prepare that odd-looking and tasting concoction - a glass of milk with quarter tea-spoon of turmeric powder and half spoon full of pepper powder, and sugar to taste. That is good for common cold, cough and sore throat. I had already begun this remedy for two days, when another friend of mine had an improved version of the same remedy.

She briefed me this remedy for cough, cold, sore throat: coffee mixed with beaten raw egg, turmeric and pepper powder, and a little bit of brandy. When I protested that if I were to take this concoction for five to seven times, then ultimately I might have been cured of common cold, but might have become an alcoholic! So, I begged to drop this remedy, when my friend added that I could drop brandy if I really don't want to take it. So that solved the problem, and here I am sipping the last bit of this new concoction. I know one thing for sure, these concoctions are not going to cause me any trouble.

But there were also simpler remedies from simpler souls, which I welcomed with open heart. Remember to gargle with salt in warm water, and that will kill the germs and you will be soon free from cough and cold! (The direction also included this innocuous caution : don't swallow the salt water, because that may be bad for the stomach!). If only we have more trust and belief in the wisdom of our foreparents, we would be saving so much of money, driving about half the physicians to unemployment. Every person on earth is in the know-how of some remedies or other, some simple and some complicated solutions to simple and complicated problems and issues. I am turning to take these home remedies a little seriously. How about you?

Art of Surrendering

Someone may raise the eye brows on reading the title of this blog: art of surrendering! Is it an art, like those conventional art forms? I call surrendering an art, basically on two grounds : like all art forms, surrendering needs to be cultivated, and one may partake of the aesthetic joy, even after surrendering oneself to the Supreme. This may already imply that surrendering demands something very precious from me, and until I am ready to place myself before the situation and prepare myself to accept whatever may be for the greater good of society, I may not be partaking of the solution, but continue to be only part of the problem.

The very word carries with it a lot of negative connotations, and as soon as one hears the word surrendering, one is sure to think that it is going to cost a lot, and sure it is! But what it costs is not as much as the joy and peace of actually surrendering. Listening to the wisdom of Echart Tolle, the master who popularised the concept of the power of now, lays great emphasis on surrendering, and I realize that surrendering places before me immense possibilities, and provides me in a much more secure zone than all that the world can offer me when I keep holding to the treasures of the world around me.

You may wonder, how can surrendering give me real security, and placate the annoying fear, anxiety, and worry, the three enemies who are responsible for messing up my peace and joy. Every time when I trust the world around me, my own talents and capabilities, my store house of treasures (in the form of acquired knowledge base, accumulated wealth and projected support systems at my disposal), I am creating an imaginary wall around me, and keep telling myself that no rain and shine can ever touch me. But the moment when I hear the thunder and my eyes are blinded by lightning, then I know that the wall around me is only fictitious.

It is then no time to start building real wall around me; before I raise up a wall barely enough to protect myself, I would realize that the thunder showers have destroyed the wall I had built. Besides I realize that there are hardly any people who would join me in raising up this wall of protection. But if I were wise, I would not try to raise up a wall, but look all around me, surrender myself to all the forces which surround me. I invoke my inner resources to acquire the strength and energy to face all rain and shine, thunder and lightning. I can hear the whisper of my heart: nothing can really shake me and pull me down.

But that is the moment when I look to the world around that I am being so very vulnerable (and in the true sense I am being very vulnerable), that I may not survive even a gusty wind. The external reality does not change; it is just as it used to be, but my approach to this reality has changed considerably. I don't look at the world around me as ravenous wolves, ready to tear me to pieces, but as beings as vulnerable as I am. There is a sense of camaraderie, and of solidarity. But what if the external (and internal) realities were to militate against me? I know that my inner self will provide me with the stamina to protect me from their onslaught. In surrendering, I come in face to face with my true identity as a vulnerable human person!

Return to Roots

Attending an enlightening lecture-cum-interaction with Prof Bharat Gupt on Natyasastra opened up several cupboards in my household I had never bothered to unlock and see what treasures lie over there. I was found asking myself this simple question: how is it that all these years I had not ventured to know and learn more about some of the rich traditions we had been beholding for several centuries. It is no wonder, we may not be aware of many of the rich treasures of our homeland, which have found home in the West, even with adequate copyright and intellectual rights. On the one hand I felt so proud to be part of this great land of cultures and religions, and on the other felt embarassed not knowing the intricacies that this great literature transpose!

It would be beyond the scope of this little blog to enter into some of the salient features of Natyasastra, but it would be worthwhile to highlight one or two key aspects which interested me. This great classic has been popularly known as the Fifth Veda (the other four being Rg, Yajur, Sama and Atharva, which had been appropriated by the Brahmins), meant for the hoi poploi, the aam janta, the nothing-special about people. Is it a generous gesture on the part of Bharat Muni to hand this treatise to the common people, as a consoling factor? Whatever critics say, one thing is for sure: this can be appropriated by any one, especially the non-Brahmin!

The world today is moving at a break-neck speed to explore everything that is possible to harness the world's resources to the best way possible. Brain-drain has not yet become a problem that would disturb the developping nations, but the ancient traditions are slowly finding their place not in schools and colleges, but in archives of archaic manuscripts and museums. The great literature that had enlivened the literature and art of this great nation for several centuries has suddenly become a thing of the past, and we are looking for viable alternatives to replace them. Shame, shame! We have no qualms of conscience to bury alive living traditions, because we are not equipped to take a dip into them!

Some of the great literatures of the ancient India have been path-breaking in several fields, and many of the things that modern science and technology re discover have found mention in many of our scriptures, but who is there to really go through the palm leaves, scrolls to decipher the rich material that had been treasured for hundreds of years. If we ourselves bury these rich materials, then we shall be answerable to the future generations for burying living civilizations as a sign of our incapacity! It is time that we wake up, and unearth the scrolls and manuscripts which are fast eaten up by whiteants and moth! Who knows we may find remedy for many of the evils huanting the world in some of them.

But the responsibility to return to our roots lies with every one of the Indian citizen, who feels obliged to own up what has been our collective tradition, irrespective of culture, religion or language. If our children are taught to return to their roots, in the study of culture, language, literature and religion, then there would be less conflict and attempt from one section of people to assert their cultural hegemony. We do not need to swallow all that the ancient literature and scriptures teach us; we need to look at them critically, and study them at the particular socio-cultural context, and take them for what they are worth. But our lives will be quite different if only we take a close look at them, and shape our lives in the light of our discoveries!

Chagrin of change

Change in any field is wrought with its own share of problems and challenges, because to let a stream run its course is easy, non-demanding, but attempting to turn its course to an altogether different direction is going to cost both the stream and the one who attempts it (if there is a human agent involved in it)! However it is change which gives life and vitality to the otherwise monotonous human existence. If there is no change around us, then too soon, we all would be mad, and turn the world topsy-turvy. Everyone desires change, but it is hard for those who are to execute change in the otherwise smooth-flowing stream of activities.

A friend today wrote to me in the email saying that she for the first time lost her temper, and shouted at the teachers for their irresponsible behavior. When the principal had reminded the teachers to keep the students ready for a function, so that time is not wasted, the teachers were all too cool in the faculty room, lost in their own world. That was the time the principal stormed into the staff room, and gave the teachers a piece of her mind. The teachers jumped to their heels and things were as desired within minutes. But if the principal had not given that shock treatment, it would have taken quite some time to get the children organized, and the program would have begun late.

We are all good people, and we hate displeasing others, especially the familiar and friendly people; the people who are cordial and loving towards us. We would think twice or thrice before we tell them anything unpleasant. To pull them up is the last thing that we can think of. On the other side of the spectrum, we realize that the people we are friendly with are the ones who would take the maximum advantage of our dizzy situation. It is easy to let these people continue the way they are used to, and we would not like to dirty our hands, and create havoc to the relationship. But such an approach is sure to cause dearly to the work assigned to them.

Why should I dirty my hands unnecessarily? That is the question that many people tend to ask; after all, it is not only my responsibility! I am only the principal who is appointed for just a few years; it is the duty of the people who decide our fate, to take serious steps against people who falter and err in their duties and responsibilities. We cannot get something good unless someone is prepared to dirty his/her hands, but the moot question is: who is prepared to dirty the hands, and live with the dirty for years to come? As soon as one tries to put an order in the midst of chaos and disorder, the people who created it and love living in the midst of it, are not going to let anything be changed; it is a fierce battle that the one who is at the helm of affairs has to be prepared to face.

Fearlessness is one of the great virtues of servant leadership model, and those who are afraid of dirtying their hands and bear all sorts of criticism and calumny cannot be true leaders. To put it in reverse, one who has not received severe criticism from his/her companions, cannot be a leader worth his/her salt. But to dirty one’s hands can be a powerful exercise to bring in the much needed change and it has to well up from the inner freedom and openness the leader experiences towards the people at his/her service. Such fearlessness, free from any personal agenda, is also a saintly virtue, the hallmark of sincere saintly persons.

When the swine started marching in…

It appears as if George Orwell was to be believed in the context of the present day realities; human beings are pushed to corners, when the animals begin to retaliate for all the evils dumped on them. Animal Farm today is not just a fiction, parodying the political tenor of the era, but a reality, in literal terms. We were cautioned by chicken flu, which left thousands of men and women (my father being one of the victims) crippled for over a week, draining their energy, and subjecting them to their beds. Today it is swine flu, and the world is witnessing a steady rise in the toll the swine flu is causing across the globe.

One just cannot imagine how and why the animals have suddenly turned against the human race, the so-called custodians of the entire universe. One might even think that it is a calculated attack on the humanity, or else how could it happen that the flu are being caused by the most trusted of all animals and birds just one after another. As we still grope in darkness trying to hurry up our pharmaceutical companies to find a vaccine to remedy the situation, we just don’t know what is next. Is it the dog flu or the cow flu? But we can be sure, something will be in the offing, even before we clean up the dirt made by the swine flu!

What is strange the swine flu has camouflaged itself in the form of common flu, and had decided to attack the weak. There are different stories going rounds across the country, which questions how the flu entered into the nation, who had been guarding all entry points so very efficiently! It is not the time to discuss about how it all began; ultimately we cannot blame even the US alone for ‘creating’ the flu and exporting to the developing Asian countries. It could have happened to any country. All that we can do today is accept the reality and fight a battle to overcome it before it spreads fast.

The chicken flu and the swine flu are great tests to the notion of human supremacy over animals and birds. Who on earth thought that the flu caused in these animals and fowls can really kill the most sophisticated human beings. With all scientific and technological advancement, we are not in a position to arrest the spread of the flu at all! I assume, the swine who were responsible for the flu, were they alive, would be having a hearty laugh at the expense of the inadequately prepared human race. They might even convene a meeting at the jungles to claim supremacy over humanity.

But it is a lesson for us who thought too great about ourselves, to realize that our downfall can be caused by even the innocuous animals and birds, and not necessarily by deadly diseases like cancer and HIV. It is also time that we treat the animals and birds, trees and plants with certain amount of dignity and respect, and not as objects at our disposal. If only we turn to the animals and birds with a little more compassion and love, they too would reciprocate the same love and compassion in some form or other, and in such situations, retaliation and tit for tat cannot become the rule of the game. But is the human race ready to take this lesson seriously?

Taste of Freedom

Freedom, some say, is to do with the mind, and not so much an external reality, and sometimes one cannot help but agree to such a proposition. Whatever be the claims and counterclaims of existentialists and essentialists, regarding the absolute freedom that is accessible to human beings, one thing is for certain: it would be beyond the capacity of human beings to behold absolute freedom, because with a moral body and a limited earthly reality, we cannot think of coming in touch with freedom, which by its very nature is eternal and is a continuation of timelessness.

One of the biggest ironies of human existence is that the more we try to free ourselves from the shackles of time and space and dozens of limitations that life on earth imposes on us, the more we become conscious of the lack of freedom. In fact, it is this tension, on the one hand desiring to be freer, and on the other confined to narrower lanes of freedom, that we can live a healthy life. A leaning towards one side or the other is sure to create imbalance in our lives. Either the excess of freedom or the complete lack of it is contrary to healthy human existence.

The more we are free, the more we become unfree too; freedom from one thing does not include freedom from everything; freedom from a certain attachment or an evil tendency may draw me closer to another binding force, sometimes worse than the former. Therefore it is unreasonable to think that all freedom is positive; unbridled freedom is sure to cause negative effects in persons is a lesson that human history is full of. But how would I know how much freedom I require in order to live a happy and contended life?

Restrictions from social, cultural and religious spheres are there to help me make use of the limited freedom I enjoy, so that my life becomes meaningful. Let me cite an example. Look at a bird inside a cage! Is it free or is it not? We might be tempted to jump too fast and say that it is not free like a bird in the sky; but if a caged bird were to speak, it might tell us how happy it is inside the cage, enjoying the safety and security of a protected life; all its meals assured, the human company, and the outpouring of affection from the younger ones… Who says that it is not free inside a cage? Therefore freedom depends largely on whose perspective we take.

There is a modern verse, entitled Prisoner, which reads : Freeing from freedom, he freed himself! Is that not so meaningful? Actual freedom for this prisoner is to freeing himself from the thirst for freedom. One can find the most free person even in the most limiting situations, and the reverse too is true; one may feel suffocating even in the most free situations. Therefore one thing is certain: it is not the external situations, persons or things which make me really free or limit me; it is I who make myself free or bind myself to external realities. After all, in most of the cases, human beings are masters of the situations!

Ode to a Unknown Soldier

Is it not strange that 62 years after the nation gained Independence, one little citizen has dared to carve this unpolished encomium in honor of the great sacrifices you have made, so that I can sit leisurely at my cozy little room and write these lines. We had not made efforts to know your name, your language, religion or even caste, because for those who matter today in the country, these are really immaterial. Mind you they will dig up your graves even after a century if that will move them an inch forward, and spend millions of rupees from the national trasury, without any qualms of conscience! But that is a different story, you may be well aware of!

True, I did not even venture to verify if you are a male or a female, or even the third gender! I know you have betrayed a wicked smile, and I do understand that whatever be the gender, there were people who placed their lives at the altar of freedom, without realizing that they would never taste of it! There were no press photographers flocking to you, to have that rare 'shot' for their exclusive story. For them you were not even worth a line at the last page, and so is my blog in your honor! I would have been delighted to post your photo on my blog, if only I could find one!

I know you are suspecting why I ventured to shower these beautiful words in your honour! Have I anything to gain out of this? You know only too well that in the midst of over the one hundred and ten crore people, who is this one little creature, trying to dig up the old graves! I can still see the boot-marks of the great men who trampled over your graves with utter insensitivity, not realizing that the freedom that we enjoy today, and they milk today is but the fruit of your labour! The annals of this great nation were written in your blood, and today it is they who have changed history! Forgive them dear, forgive them!

Do you believe that with the Indian Independence, all the maladies which haunted the nation were gone for ever? No, today we are infested with a far severe malady, the men and women who would sell the nation to fill their belly; people who would let hundreds and thousands die in the name of development; leaders who can blindly sell the national pride to other wealthier nations, with no sense of shame! Look around and see, what the freedom you fought for has come to! Look at the millions still starving in the remote corners of the nation, dalits and tribals still struggling to get what is rightfully their own, the indigenous people being decimated day by day! Look brother, sister, look around!

It is time for you to rise up from your grave, to don your costumes and march into the lanes and bylanes of our nation! Let the trumpet sound, and let all the souls of the departed martyres rise up to reclaim the land for her people! You will not be remembered henceforth in this lonesome pillar in the midst of vast expanse; you will live in the hearts of every Indian, living and dead! But rise up Brother, rise up Sister, before it is too late! As you rise up, I bow my head in humble adoration and reverance, for you are truly a son and daughter worth your name, and your Mother will only be honored by your valor! May your clan increase!

Cost of Freedom

Celebration of the anniversary of the Indian Independence is an appropriate time to reflect on the cost of freedom; how much have we paid and what have we paid to enjoy independence, which has put the world’s largest democracy into the world map? What was my share in acquiring this freedom? I might proudly hark that I was not even born when the nation gained independence, or else I would have given even my life for it. Needless to say, several selfless men and women had given their lives, fighting fierce battle with the British, to free their motherland. It is their sweat and blood that gave us this nation, which we can call truly our own.

We have a stereotyped list of freedom fighters, under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi, followed by a host of leaders who were instrumental in actualizing the freedom. Subhash Chandra Bose, Chittaranjan Das, Moulana Abul Kalam Azad, to name a few, were front runners in the freedom struggle. But today I think it is important that we turn our focus from these illustrious figures to the unknown freedom fighters whose names would never find place in the long list of glorious persons who gave their lives, so that we might have a better tomorrow.

The real strength of the Indian national movement or call it the fight for a free India, was not so much the big leaders who led the struggle from city to city, but the quiet foot-soldiers who fought quietly in the remote corners of this vast nation. Most often the names of these sincere and faithful children of Mother India are simply obliterated, so that the mighty and the powerful will win the glitter and the gold. They are often included in the list of the ‘unknown’ soldiers, with a barren pillar standing in the midst of rain and shine, with none to care.

Today we recall to mind the spirit of sagacity that these men and women in different parts of the country exhibited, going beyond any political or social or communitarian leanings. Their thirst for freedom has found the nation breaking free, but these small fry have been swallowed by the monstrous leaders who took hold the fate of the nation. Today it is time to call for another freedom struggle, to free the nation from the corrupt, power-hungry, immoral, selfish leaders, who know only one thing – to make the nation to fulfill their personal goals and objectives. It is time that the souls of these foot-soldiers rise from their ashes, and reclaim the nation for her people.

The cry of mother India pining for love and care for her marginalized children echoes in the skies; she wept the fate of her children even as the Prime Minister hoisted the tricolor at the ramparts of the Red Fort. The cry of a mother cannot go in vain, so they say; if that be true, then there is sure to be a resurgence, when her children will rise to bring the same pristine honor and glory that she had been enjoying for centuries. It is our turn to blow the trumpet, chime the temple bells, draw out our swords and daggers, because here begins our ‘dharmakshetra, kurukshetra’!

Plateful of Flowers

When someone is sick and is admitted into a nursing home or hospital, it is customary for friends and neighbors, to carry a “Get well soon” card with a bouquet of flowers. As I am recuperating from a bout of influenza, I received a bouquet of flowers, a plateful of e-flowers. Nature’s pure gift, unalloyed, groomed by rain and shine, and a little bit of human care! It is not only a feast to the eyes, but it also brings the best of nature to our doorsteps. The seasonal flowers seldom fail, even if the monsoon rains fail. They follow nature’s pre-designated cycle, and come what may, they are there with their beauty and fragrance.

The rain-soaked flowers sitting leisurely on the plate, holding each other making the best circle of friendship that can ever be imagined or re-created, is a sight that can transport us to an altogether different realm, if only we are look into the blossoms. Unity in diversity is what they uphold, by mingling with flowers of different shades, all adding to the cosmic rhythm, that the universe is still safe and secure. But don’t jump too much into their short-span of life; it is human beings who evaluate the quality of our lives by the number of years we have lived, not so for nature.

Is it not a wonderful thing to contemplate how nature has a different kind of life-guide than the human beings? The birds and insects, trees and shrubs all of them have a million stories to tell the human beings, if only we have the ears to listen to them. Today we listen to what these blossoms staring at me tell, or wish to tell at this moment! We don’t need to keep our ears to listen to them, but keep the doors of our hearts ajar, so that their words may enter into us, and transform the way we look at life at large. Once they touch us, we may look at nature with different eyes.

I am fascinated by the instance in the Bhagavad Gita, where Arjuna pleads with Lord Krishna that he might receive His cosmic vision. Krishna chides Arjuna saying that with human eyes he cannot behold his eternal, celestial beauty, and so He offers his disciple a third eye, with which he would be able to have the cosmic vision of the Lord. That is what we all need today, to look at the footprints of the maker in all that is around us; then even a blade of grass, or a still, stationary tree may have a message for us, what they are and what we are.

It is time for me to pass this plate on, so that the joy of beholding their beauty may not stop with me, but become contagious, very much like the swine flu, the H1N1 virus, so that after a few years, or decades or even centuries, we may have a humanity which is in close contact with nature and her bounty. On that day, there will not be a plateful of flowers, but only nature gathering plateful of human beings around her chest, treasuring them as if they were her very own. Is that not what many religions call Paradise!

Branding

One of the secrets of success is business and commerce is branding the product or merchandise. If the branding is done with great care, then one can be sure of success, even if the product or merchandise itself may not be worth that much hype. For those who are uninitiated into the world of business, branding is related to a projection of the product as it is and affecting the customer to a large extent, highlighting the great value for money that the product can give to the buyer. Branding basically targets human psyche, whereby the customer is brain-washed by the company. Take for instance, vesting a particular brand of vests is a ‘andar ki baat’! That is branding.

I feel terrible when people begin to brand their neighbors, friends, family members, and citizens of a particular nation. This is one of the greatest injustice we can do to humanity. First of all, human beings are a commodity that can be branded, for purchase. Branding persons basically points to an accumulation of prejudices and pre-judgements. When we say, so and so is such a kind of person, we are already branding the person, as if a person is a solidified matter, which cannot change over time. We need to look at people as they are and not as we would wish them to be.

Some of us are ace human branders, who even without seeing or hearing, can brand people, just on the basis of hear-say. History will tell us how mistaken these people are. It is only human beings who are capable of changing, and sometimes these changes can occur even over night; and we may not be in a position to explain how the change took place, but that precisely are human beings. Branding a person is equivalent to condemning a person to a state of immaterial being, who is incapable of change. We cannot have a healthy social living, until we begin to look at one another as people susceptible of change and transformation.

We all of us suffer at sometime or other from social stigma, and that is one of the consequences of immortalizing these human brands. The stigma is often imposed from out, without verifying the validity of the offence. Generalization is a cousin to this social stigma. But is it possible for us to ever overcome the propensity to brand people? We may have to begin our journey to cure, from the understanding that all are vulnerable, and weak human beings, and there is no one who can truly claim to be free from human frailties. Once I know that others are as weak as I am, I would not begin to label them for all eternity, but look at the silver lining in the midst of their dark gloomy nature. It is then that we will realize the danger of branding people.

Every time I brand people, I should realize that there are others prepared to brand me too. In fact, the very people I brand may be the people who may do the same thing for me. If I am in the chair of power and authority and begin to judge everyone on earth as I see them to be, then it may be good for me to remember that the day to be on the receiving end is not very far off. I may also need to realize that if others had branded me the way I do to them, then probably my life would be very different today. It is because many people had been generous enough to spare me from the humiliation of being branded, that I am able to keep my head erect and judge others. If I feel I have all the qualities to brand others, then it is time that I prepare myself to be branded too!

Waiting for Godot!

Those who have studied American literature would remember the title, a modern English play, belonging to the genre of ‘abstract drama’ by Samuel Beckett. This is considered as a prototype of the abstract drama, which captures the absurdity of life in modern times. The entire drama revolves around a person waiting for another person named Godot! There is no forward or backward movement in the drama, at the end of the play, the audience are exactly in the same place where they were at the beginning, and so also the characters.

While on the one hand, the modern world swears by speed, on the other it is typified by endless waiting. Every moment of waiting has been added to the quest for better speed. We want quick solutions, and waiting as it were becoming a thing of the past. There is no one who really wants to wait. Waiting for three hours to get the parts of computers we have paid for, is not just a thing we can take so easily. People taking their own sweet time to pull out the required parts from the store, and placing them together so that they could pack off the customer in half an hour is an art which is alien to the boys working in this biggest computer shop in the whole of Eastern India. But who will teach them the art of getting things faster than they are used to?

But is it not time that we just throw our watches and clocks and just flow with time, following the course of the sun and the moon? Some years ago, when I decided to stay with the Santal tribals, I did the same, and I was happy without knowing the time, while staying in a village, where there is no way of knowing the hour of the day. What I could say was night and day, morning and evening and noon. I would look at the sun, and would guess the time for my meals. It gives a different feeling when we forget for a moment the human-made indicators of time. Time and space cannot be measured in human terms and categories; one has to let oneself to flow in the current in order to feel the cosmic flow.

Waiting is associated with a lot of pain and suffering, and every waiting reminds the persons concerned that there is a great expectation, though the expectation may not end up with a positive result. Like in the case of Waiting for Godot, at the end no one might turn up. The entire waiting might come to naught, but then the waiting per se has a meaning, which cannot be separated from the act itself. Fortunately when I went to the shop today, I had not worn my wrist watch, and so was less conscious of every passing hour, but then there were wall-clocks which reminded me that I had already spent four hours waiting in that cozy room, with a lot of men and women crisscrossed, each one minding their own business.

Waiting is a sweet and sour candy that we are given, even when we are not in a mood to chew it. The taste however is not in the candy, but in the tongue and the mind which provides the taste. If your waiting is on someone or something that you would be delighted to, then the candy would taste sweet; if you are waiting to meet a bad news, or bad person, whom you would have liked to miss, but are forced to meet, then the candy would taste sour. You cannot throw the candy altogether, because each moment of our life comes with a waiting, with a sugar coated candy, and it is for me to make it taste sweet or sour! Waiting after all is not a physical phenomenon, but very much a psychological one.

Children of Light

Some people may think I am crazy if I were to say that creation or the discovery of artificial lighting system is a disgrace to God’s creation. Let me explain my stance before you pounce on me like ravenous wolves. God created night and day, the Sun to rule the day and the moon to rule the night. He provided us with hard and soft light (as those in photography and videography would call) for two different kinds of needs. But today the human beings have created any number of kinds of light, and they even have deviced a method of dimming the light. Sometimes one wonders if it is night or day.

There is a thirst in human beings to extend the day and shorten the night, failing to realize that night and day are two phases of human life. We have evolved a system of lighting up our surroundings, to some extent, equaling the natural light, so that we would think that we are enjoying the blessing of day. But we don’t stop at that, we even attempt to control our bodies to the changing phases of our day and night. We prefer a long day and a short day, because day represents all that is lovely, lively, and night represents all that is dull and gloomy. But that is not the whole truth.

I for one am not a nocturnal being, like some of my friends, who would keep awake till about two o’clock in the early morning and then would go to bed, to get up well past eight in the morning. Naturally they need the minimum hours of sleep. I don’t remember burning the midnight’s lamp, even when I had the toughest examinations to get through. Before the clock stuck twelve midnight, I was invariably on the bed, enjoying a sound sleep. I have no serious problem with people who go late to bed and rise late, but when we are in a group, if people wish everyone to go late to bed, I find it hard to accept. I have built up a rhythm in accordance with nature, and to change it is sure to affect my very system.

By now I know rather too well that after about 9 pm, I am no more the same vibrant self I am in the morning. The body is tired and it is time to rest, which however does not mean to sleep. I like relaxing by myself either reading or writing, or watching a movie, or listening to a song. I would love to respect this particular rhythm of my body, mind and spirit, and feel a bit annoyed when some people force me to change it. I hate any serious work or meeting after 9 pm, and sometimes when I am compelled to be engaged with some serious work, by body reacts, and I get headache; that is an indication for me that it is time to be off, but how would I expect others to understand my rhythm?

It is important that each one of us finds out our body rhythm in terms of its movement. I know the best time of the day is the morning, not necessarily the early morning as some think and understand, but time from 7 to 10 am. Much of my creative works take place during this time period. I can give my best during these hours. I get the natural light to shine on me and my work, and I don’t need to burn an extra ounce of oil to keep my lamp burning. I can still hear the chirping of the birds, alongside the vehicles on the road. I can still hear the raucous laughter of children, while at the same time feel the gentle yet warm rays of the sun. Even in the midst of madding crowds, I can forget the whole world and enter into the cave of my heart… and the journey interior is never ending!