Body and Mind

It is beyond all doubt that there is an inextricable relationship between body and mind; body can affect the mind, and the vice versa. Psychologists believe that many of the sicknesses are not merely physical, but outcome of problems associated with the mental makeup. We cannot however say that all sicknesses are due to mental framework of persons; for instance if a person is diagnosed cancer or tuberculosis all of a sudden, it cannot be related to the mind of the person, or the mental problems he/she is going through. The modern day ‘saviors’ may claim that they have solutions to all the problems of the world and of humanity, but their claim has to be taken with a pinch of salt.

One of the greatest and most severe maladies of the modern age is tension; there is mental tension, and there is psychological tension. As a matter of fact, psychological tension puts stress on the mind, and that has an effect on the body. We might think that the psychological tensions are created by the world or the people around us, but if we observe the evolution of tension or stress in us, we would realize that the psychological tension too originates from the mind, and that in turn affects the body. Stress may also be the one of the most dangerous diseases plaguing the executives, beuorocrats and those men and women who had forgotten to rest. Those who give priority to their work over their bodies are bound to face tension sooner or later.

Just because there is a fountain of energy in our bodies does not necessarily mean that we have to exhaust it at will. We might realize one fine morning that the body is drained of all energy, and we might find ourselves helpless. It is like exhausting the natural resources. We realize more and more that the loss of natural resources is irreplaceable and irrevocable. The energy lost is lost forever, and we cannot hope to replace it by going through the best psychological tests and most sophisticated medication possible. Therefore it is important that we do not exhaust the energy of the physical and the mental area, but use it sparingly. The body can provide all the energy we need to turn the world upside down, but it would do it only at its own time and its own place.

While trying to make the best of technology and modern advancement, humanity has forgotten to relax; most of the people who run from pillar to post to make both ends meet know only one thing for sure, that they have to struggle hard to make a living; they cannot afford to relax, because that would mean they cannot have a bank balance at the end of the month. We are stuck with the idea that every family should have a bank balance for future, and for unforeseen expenses, or for any eventuality. We are almost sure that we cannot be happy without money kept in reserve for emergency expenses, but the fact is quite the contrary. When we have some money kept in the bank to manage the unforeseen expenses, our options in times of emergency are limited. Think of the possibilities when there is no ready-made answer.

When the mind is calm, then the body is relaxed. It is not too difficult to check if my mind is overly preoccupied or calm. I can stop all the work I am busy with for a minute, close my eyes and observe my mind – listen to the self-talk that is going on. What are the thoughts which flood my mind just now? I can observe the thoughts as they come one by one in the screen of my mind. That will give me a clue as to what I am obsessed with. Or another exercise, when I am drinking a cup of coffee, I should be able to really taste the coffee and the sugar; if I gup it in a few minutes, and don’t even make out if it was sugar or salt that was added to the coffee, then I am sure my body and mind are tensed. I need to find some ways of bursting my stress, so that I may enjoy life and all that it presents to me and to others.

No Horn, Please!

Ever since I began to use the “new” motor bike, I am sure about one thing: no one will ever tell me not to honk, and no one will be irritated by mindless honking the horn. What have I done that I would be quite innocent of disturbing others by using horn? It is not that I have to do something extra-ordinary to be somewhat different from other bikers; all that I have done for now is deliberately refusing to repair the horn which is not functioning. The friend who had given the bike for me to use did not tell me that the horn was not functioning, and when I began to drive on the busy streets of Kolkata, I found quite strange, and awkward to drive without the horn.

Now that I have been using the bike for some two months, I am quite happy without the need to use it. In fact, when I told my friend why the horn was not working, he himself felt quite embarassed, and asked me to get it repaired as soon as possible. When I told him that I planned not to use horn on the road, he was quite surprised. He might have thought that I was just kidding. He told me that it is impossible to drive on the city street without honking, and now I can show others, it is quite possible to drive in the megacity without the need to hork even once!

But in that case, is it that easy to drive in the heart of the city without using the horn even once? Sometimes I realize that the person who is driving in front of me is not giving me way, and if I had the horn functioning properly, I might push the horn to get the attention of the person, and pull through. Now that I have no horn, I have to wait for the person to give me way; some times I have to slow down in order to find my way through. But does it matter much to me? Surely not! If I take just a few minutes extra, and save the neighbors the ordeal of deafening horns, it is well worth it!

During mid-day when the schools break off for the day, one can hear the most queer horns honking endlessly, and still traffic coming to standstill or moving like snails. Does honking make a difference in the situation? Most often it does not; one cannot force one's way through traffic congestion. Honking does not serve the purpose, and yet many who drive have the psychological satisfaction of passing through others, and forcing the other to give way; ultimately no one cares for others. If only we care for the sick and the suffering who mightbe on the road, we might be more careful not to annoy them with honking.

Someone had said that we Indians lack civic sense; maybe that is part of the Asian baggage; the situation is no different in other Asian countries, save Singapore, which is branded as the "fine" (to be paid in currency) city. We take it for granted, we have to shout in order to get the attention of others; there are other ways of driving through the city highways and avenues. I can only imagine a day when there will be no more honking, and it would be wonderful to walk around. In much of Europe that is already a reality, and how long will it take for India to enter into that phase? I am eagerly waiting for the day when vehicles will not need to have horns!

The Lakshman Rekha

There is an invisible boundary we draw for ourselves, wherever we are, and whatever we do, and whoever we are! It is not what we are, what we do, which determine who we are; ultimately what matters is how far our boundaries go, and how much it crisscrosses the boundaries of others! There are some of us, who would not like that their personal boundaries cross someone else’s, nor could they tolerate someone else trespassing into their limits! Being conscious of the personal boundaries allows the individuals certain amount of freedom and independence, and in the long run the boundaries may shrink or widen to accommodate more persons or thought patterns. But ultimately we are what our boundaries make of us.

Most of us are not even aware of the boundaries we make for ourselves and for others; the walls are not merely imaginary, we communicate to people how far they could come close to us, and what that would imply. On the one hand, it is not too difficult in the modern world, to isolate ourselves and keep us insulated from all that may be happening in the world. On the other hand, it is possible to be open to what the world is offering us and benefit from them. But most often the boundaries could determine our fate, what we are destined to be. Those who are able to adapt themselves to changing times and situations would find life enjoyable, as they keep shifting the boundaries as life offers them.

Some are too stringent about their limits and boundaries, not refusing to change them even a little, in order to accommodate persons and situations which are beyond their control. Convictions is one such thing; if we are too strict about abiding by our convictions, we would too soon realize that many of them come in direct conflict with those of others. What is good may be bad for others, and it is impossible to insist on our convictions, especially who do not share even some kind of affinity with us. Boundaries are not sacrosanct; they are merely means to achieve happiness and peace in life, but if we take them too seriously, we might miss the fun.

It is quite interesting to observe how we come to draw boundaries, the so called Lakshman rekha for ourselves and for others; fortunately there are no strict rules and regulations as to determining our boundaries and limits. It is left to each individual, and the only condition is to respect the interests and sentiments of others. So long I do not impinge on other’s interests and area of operation, I am free to do what I want. The society around us is not going to be worried if our boundaries are too narrow or too wide, so long we are by ourselves. No one might bother about us, so long we do not disturb the peace and harmony of others and the earth.

Today I would like to pause for a while to consider the boundary I had drawn for myself and for others, and take a good look at it. What have I done with this boundary, and how many boundaries have I crisscrossed over the past years; more the number of boundaries I crisscross, the better are I in terms of living in harmony with others and with nature. Everyone is bound to enrich me through their interaction with me. As the lines of the boundaries become blurred, and we begin to freely walk into the lives of others, we might experience a different kind of harmony dawning upon us. Miracles might happen when we are invited to step into others boundaries, for only those who are fully freed from the shackles of the world, can invite others to step into their world!

Rocking Boats!

Two of my community members cannot accept me as the Rector of this place, complained a priest to me, when I went to meet him regarding one of our men who is undergoing some kind of apprenticeship under his care. I had known that the priests generally do not discuss with men of other congregations about the inner conflicts, but this priest was quite vocal. And to my surprise one of his strong enemies is known to me quite closely, and I was not surprised that this priest was having problem from him. Looking at people through cultural glasses is one of the most common maladies plaguing the Church in several parts of the country. I wonder if there is any quick remedy to this malady!

It is not surprising that this kind of feelings are felt and expressed in many of the religious communities. The fact is that in most cases, the members make the utmost effort to hide these inner conflicts and division among themselves. After all, no one wishes to wash their dirty linen in public. I was not shocked or surprised that this kind of inner resistance is expressed so clearly at the dining table, even in the presence of members of other congregations. I was not surprised, because such is the case even in many of our communities, and I am sure that such a thing will continue to exist for many more years to come; the only reason why this is something impossible for us to remedy is because we form human communities.

Luckily we are not saints, nor are we hardcore sinners; we are just ordinary, mediocre men, who think mostly in human terms. Though we have left behind all our families, friends, yet at the core of our being we have our own silly inclinations, what Ignatius of Loyola called, inordinate attachments. This human craving for self-promotion is so basic that it may pop up at the moment when we least expect. And I cannot believe a person who says that he/she does not have any desire or attachment, which is not lopsided. No one can be exempted from thinking in this line; the very fact that we are human persons, makes it obligatory for us to be bound by our attachments.

For the most part, we are not in full control over ourselves, our actions, thoughts and words; our attachments, desires determine everything we think, say and do. It may need careful observation on our part to realize the truth-value of this statement. I am driven not by my thoughts, but what I deem is essential for my very survival, and those are the deep-seated cravings, many of which might not have been acknowledged. Unfortunately many of us live and die, without ever realizing what we are bound with, leave alone attempting to free ourselves from these bonds. If only we realize that we are prisoners of our desires and cravings is already the starting point of our journey in freedom.

I know the inner conflict within the religious community will continue to rock their boats, until the concerned persons realize that by trying to rock other’s boats, they are in fact rocking their own, and it might not be too late before they realize that their own boats are sinking. It is impossible to explain to these over-grown men that each of them is holding on to his rock-forts which he hopes will protect him from all assault, but unfortunately that does not happen that way. It is only when they realize that while trying to pull down their companion from the seat of “power” they are only binding themselves more and more to their own demons, which may sometime or other make a prey out of them.

Beyond Body

If there is one thing in human beings, which can be considered the center of all good and evil, it is undoubtedly the physical body; all that men do may be ultimately linked to some aspect of the human body. There is another element which can predominate if the physical needs are fulfilled: the mind looks for avenues to satisfy. The last element that we may think of is the spirit or the soul. But I am baffled at thinking the most complicated mechanism that God has created that it would take quite a few millennia for the human mind to just comprehend the intricacies involved with this, leave alone recreating it.

There is such an amount of energy stored into the human body that we seldom realize it; at moments when we least expect, this energy may flow out, even without our realizing it. We often hear of unimaginable things done by feeble and fragile persons; at the spur of a moment, their bodies become a store house of energy which is beyond human comprehension. We cannot explain this phenomena in human logic; it is something which is a blessing of nature (or call it God). But at the same time, the body is also the cause of much of the evil we see in the world. If only we had no bodies, life would be so very different.

The two elements which dominate the media in today’s world are violence and sex, and both are involved with the physical body. Both last only for a short while and the pleasure or the pain involved with these acts are just momentary. Even before we realize that something had happened, the harm is already done. There are several ways of looking at the double-edged sword that media thrives on; remove these two elements, and the entire media, especially television and cinema, will fall flat. But what makes the human mind to seek after violence and sex, not only in literature and in silver screen, not to mention the cinema.

The answer to that question is not too difficult to find; there is something so very basic and fundamental to the human psyche, and it is related to the fact of our bodies, the perishable entity of our selves. It is just an external layer, which undergoes decay once the hour comes, and then the soul is freed. That is the notion which is proposed in the Second chapter of Srimad Bhagavad Gita. It is only the soul which is imperishable. But it would be dangerous to think that the body is just a dispensable entity, because it is in and through the physical body that the human person is to find his/her own path to salvation.

How do we explain the craving for the physical pleasures, and what is its function in a person? Is it possible to forego the physical realities and live in a realm which is above all speculation and imagination? The mind and the spirit cannot be duped as easily as the human body could be, and that is the reason why often we find people seeking to end their lives, because they feel with the loss of the battle on the physical grounds, their lives have come to an end. They cannot think that there are two other layers which can be the center of their existence. The body is a wonderful creature, and it is only who has understood the nuances and the science of it, can really enter into the world of the inner spirit!

Fatal Obsession

The young man is talented, and is a gentleman to the core; but the problem with him is that he wishes to belong to a group of people who do not wish to consider themselves “gentlemen” in the way the world around would understand. He is too polished to belong to this group of men who make sincere attempts to be down to earth. His one and only interest in Indian classical music has kept him away from his other companions who have varied interests, and are not as obsessed as this gentleman, and that is where the problem begins. He has been thinking all along that he was made for music, and nothing else, and would do anything to pursue his interest in music, even by hook or by crook.

This attitude of the gentleman had landed him in trouble on several occasions; his condescending attitude towards his companions who are not as gifted as he is in music is sometimes so very evident that one can make out his motives. Unfortunately he has always considered himself the “best” of the lot in music, and if anyone else were to occupy his place, he finds it hard to accept, leave alone join others to sing or play the instruments. He has been doing this for several years, and maybe he will continue to do this for all the years to come, until he is cornered to face a realistic situation, where he might find his illusions crumble to nothing. But no one knows for sure, when that moment will come.

No one understands me and my interests – this has been one of his refrains to others all the time; anyone who does not encourage him to pursue his sole-interest in music is against him, and all those who let him have his way are good to him. If anyone were to understand him, then they should take it for granted that he is the most versatile classical singer; if they do not honor him with that recognition, then they are considered as music illiterate. This has been his trend, and we do not know where exactly he would land up after a few years; but one thing is sure, his life is not going to be a smooth sail… he is bound to face several storms and typhoons.

I would not think that music had made him less of a human; no. Any true music is supposed to arouse the human heart towards the appreciation of beauty and truth. If that does not happen with this gentleman that is an indication that something had gone wrong somewhere during his upbringing. It is hard for me to go to the details of how he came to be so obsessive with music all these years, and no one had administered to him the much needed shock therapy, to wake him up from the psychological slumber he is still in. Probably once he wakes up from this slumber, then he might be able to see truth as it is, without any additional color glasses.

But who would tell him that what he sees through the eyes of his obsession with music is only partial truth, and there are more elements which may be of greater importance than music, and lead him to enjoy beauty and truth in a more intense way. So long he is obsessed with music, he is not going to see beauty in other elements of nature or human creation. There is beauty in the blue sky, there is beauty in the creepers, helplessly climbing on a tree, there is splendor in a rose or lilly; we don’t need to strain ourselves to see beauty around us, and it would be narrow mindedness to think only music has rhythm. If I can find rhythm in the songs of the birds, in thunder and the rumbling of the streams, then I will find the most soothing music in nature, and then I may not need to take asylum with human-made music!

Harmony with Nature

One of the best illustrations of harmony can be observed in nature; as one walks along a garden with plenty of trees, shrubs, creepers and water bodies, it would become too obvious that there is place in the garden for all sorts of plants, not only what the human beings consider as good and useful, but also the so-called useless grass, creepers and plants. Everything have their own “private” space, and others do not trespass, and even if they do, there is no noise made about this. That is the law of nature; in mother nature’s bosom, every one has got a place; but when it comes to a human family, the world we live in, can we say the same?

The most poisonous snakes live in perfect harmony with the most harmless of reptiles; a snake may not with full consciousness bite another creature, unless it comes in the way of the snake. In nature’s kingdom each one respects the others, and there is perfect understanding between them. That is why there is so much for the human beings to learn from nature. If only we the human persons being to imitate the natural world around us, life could be so very different and beautiful. But it is a matter of great concern as to who would explain to the human persons, how to restrict to one’s private space and respect the space of others.

Look at a pond or a water-body, either river or a sea; there is place for all sorts of creatures there in, and all of them live in perfect harmony. It is natural law which permits sometimes the weaker animals to become prey to the strong one’s, however due to this, there can never be a situation that the weaker species may become extinct over the years. Nature takes care of preserving even the weaker species, and protects them from the strong predators. There is something for us to learn from the world of the water-bodies, and they can enlighten and brighten our lives.

There is also a place for parasites in the natural world, where these creepers and plants depend solely on the stronger plants for their very survival, and that is not considered as something that is exploitative. It is only right and proper for a strong plant to hold the weaker one and support them for meaningful survival. We may think that there are so many anomalies in the natural world, where there is provision for subduing of the weak by the strong, and the survival of the fittest, but at the same time there is enough room for the weak and the fragile to grow stronger and bolder.

Nature has most of the solutions to the problems that the human world confronts, and we shall be able to understand the logic of why nature does something which might look so stupid, only if we are able to see the consequences. There is a different kind of logic operative in the way how nature handles the natural world; however it would be wrong to think that the natural world also follows the human world. It is time therefore for the human beings to cast their own notions of the world outside of them, and learn a meaningful lesson from nature; for the human beings will have no better teachers than nature herself!

Glimpse of Eden

Who would not like a serene and secure atmosphere of Dhyan Ashram, with plenty of trees, gardens, and water bodies! It is like taking a glimpse of what the Garden of Eden could have been, before the serpent tricked the first parents. The air is cool and the atmosphere is pleasant. There is a silence, which the trees and plants, frantically try to preserve and pass on to everyone who drops in here. It is rightly a place of Dhyan, of meditation, and though our purpose in coming here today is nothing to do with meditation, but we see several men and women who are steeped in meditation.

To forget the self and to be immersed in the thought of the creator or his/her (could we not think of the creator as a feminine force!) creation, or to enter into the inner recesses of oneself and listen to the murmurs of the life-spirit, or to the whispers of the soul! We are too frightened of taking time off, to enter into the self; the most enjoyable trip that is ever possible is to dive into the inner self, because that is where miracles await us, where flowers wait for us to bloom, where birds await us to start their singing. But the world has kept us tied to itself that we find impossible to break free.

I see the men and women of all ages lost in their worlds of prayer and meditation; it is impossible for me to fathom their minds and hearts, but looking at their faces, one thing is sure that their minds are not preoccupied with the material world that we are so busy with; they are probably thinking of a reality which is far removed from the worldly reality we live at each moment of our lives. But to take time out and be by ourselves is what can give us the psychic energy and stamina to go ahead with life, in spite of all the odds which attempt to make our lives miserable.

It is impossible to enter into our inner selves, from within our familiar surroundings; we are interrupted and disturbed at every now and then, that we cannot concentrate on our journey inwards. There are telephones, mobile phones, television, children, friends drop in just to say hello, the familiar songs being played at the neighborhood… these all can become distractions when we make a sincere effort to dive deep into our selves. But a quiet and serene atmosphere such as this can become helpful to plunge into ourselves boldly and courageously.

Besides helping us to dive into the deeper recesses of our own selves, nature has the ability to soothe our wounded selves, and balm our pains and worries. There is no greater companion to us than nature, with all their colors and charm, scent and radiance. If only we know how to appreciate and communicate with nature, then we may spend hours and hours in her company. It does not require great artistic sense to appreciate nature in all her glory, just a sense of wonder can take us a long way in being true companions to nature all around us. But here we are in a privileged place to behold one of the best forms of nature, and I spend a few moments to silently commune with her!

Sweet to Sour Story

I have been quite disturbed by the story of a former religious nun taking a Jesuit priest to the court, alleging illegitimate sex, leading to abortion! This news apparently had been entertaining the people of Tamil Nadu for quite some time, the former nun publicly washing her private linen, adding fuel to the fire, and the priest living in underground, in order not to be caught by the public eye, and the ever vigilant journalists and photographers. It would be quite unfair on my part to make any value judgment about this case, since what I know is perhaps just the tip of an iceberg, and a greater part of the truth may be buried for all eternity.

What had transpired the two of them to part ways is something which is unknown to most of us; what had prompted them to seek one of the most cruel forms of punishing in public is also something that most of us cannot think of. I am quite confident that whatever be the present situation, in the beginning there should have been genuine love for each other. Over the days and months that love could have led to greater deepening, ultimately leading to crossing the religious frontiers, to indulge in what is forbidden. I would not contest the idea that the priest and the former nun did not indulge in the most intimate form of human love, but would better leave it without debating about the authenticity of this fact.

One thing that I fail to understand in the entire drama of love between these two persons, where the sweet had turned into sour, within so few years, is my conviction that there should have been genuine love between these two at some time or other during their relationship over the past years. I cannot think that the former nun would have contemplated extorting a huge sum of money as compensation for what he had done to her; there are some people who propose this angle, but my heart says, during a genuine loving relationship this kind of ideas generally do not surface. In that case what had gone wrong in their relationship?

If the former nun had genuine love for the priest, how did she dare to go so far, demanding not only the expulsion of him from the religious congregation, but also a huge sum of money as compensation towards the damage caused to her. It is possible that there are other more dominant angles in the story – one being the caste issue, and another political, but my contention is this : if this lady had true love for him, she could only think of what is good for him; what would make him happy, even if she is disrobed of her religious status, and had to struggle in the unfamiliar world she is thrown into. Has her love for him evaporated then?

I feel sad for the priest, who could think that his love for her had become a public commodity, or worse still a yellow journalism. It is possible we might never come to know the different layers of their relationship, because it is only God who could fathom the hearts of people. While we await the legal procedures to take their own course, it is impossible to condemn anyone; who knows what had forced the former nun to resort to this extreme form of cruelty to the one who had loved her beyond all measure! It could be social or political pressures, or even psychological ones. I would like to remember both of them and place them before the Lord of all consolation that he might bring peace in the hearts of these two in a special way today!

Daring to say 'No'

Thinking about the Genesis story of the fall of humanity, I often wonder why Adam did not have the guts to say ‘no’ to the forbidden fruit, which Eve offered to him. He had after all known that God had forbidden them to eat it, and he could have just told her to throw it away; instead he too takes it and shares the sin of disobedience with Eve. Was he too frightened to say ‘No’ to her? Or if he was afraid what she would think when he says no to her! It is very difficult to guess what might have motivated him to accept the fruit, and if only he dared to refuse the fruit, probably we would have a different story of the fall of humanity!

Studies continue to show that women have far more stamina and strength than men, and this applies to not only the physical sectors, but also to psychic, spiritual and mental areas. More and more men find themselves at the receiving end, and it is difficult to explain the phenomenon. I had been thinking about this for quite some time, taking specific cases of women subduing their men, and the men keeping mum to all the mental and psychological torture which their wives or loved one’s might inflict on them. Sometimes I ask myself, why are these men so very cowardly in front of their women? Are they afraid of losing something very essential in life?

One may think that I am able to think aloud so much because I am not married, and therefore do not understand what goes on between a man and a woman bound by wedlock! It is true that I am quite inexperienced about what may bind a man with a woman, and what may lead a man to silently bear all torture and mental pain inflicted on him (and I do not say that the reverse is uncommon in our society), and does not feel it normal to walk out of such an existence. Even when things do not work, these men continue to live as if nothing is wrong with them, and pretend to show to the outside world that they make the most perfect couple in the world.

I would be one sided if I were to say that men are most often innocent of what they are accused of (infidelity is one of the most commonly pointed accusation on men by women, especially where there is a definite commitment); some men are so very vulnerable that their boats keep rocking, already from the day of their formal wedding; and probably even after they reach the coffins, the boat may be still rocking. Why are some women so mean, possessive, dominant and suspicious that their husbands lose all sense of self-respect, freedom, and their private space is demolished to the ground, and they cease to live their personal lives!

I have such a man so very closely; he does not speak to me anything about what transpires between him and his wife. I often come to hear about the unceasing battle in his house through third persons, and I feel so sad for him. He had done all that he could do, to make his wife happy; the riches he had accumulated for her (sometimes even through unfair means), the jewelry he had purchased for her, properties in their name, and yet what they lack at home today is peace! Even his only eight-year old son has begun to point an accusing finger at him! He does not live a human existence any more, and I only pray that peace may return to their home in the near future!

Joy of Being

While watching a nine-minute long video of Nick Vijicic talking about what he has got, instead of being worried about what he did not have, I realized that he was touching upon something which is the root cause of all the evils in the world. With no hands and no legs, Nick is 23, and still growing strong, and goes around the world motivating people. Not having legs and hands did not deter him from venturing into areas which are unthinkable for such a person. He plays polo, swims, goes for skiing, and engages in real-estate business. He does all these without depending on the legs and hands he does not have. Wow, I said to myself!

If Nick is able to achieve so much in life, he attributed the success in life to three simple principles: perspective, vision and choices! His life is an illustration of how he turned the perspective of life topsy-turvy in order cultivate an habit of focusing his attention to what he could do, instead of what he could not. I am worried about what I do not have, and therefore make frantic attempts to get the objects of my desire, and in the process may not even bother about how this could affect others, either positively or negatively; my sole aim is to get what I do not have! I fail to notice the numerous things which have potentiality to produce some of the most noteworthy things… but I am obsessed with what I do not have.

In the recent days, I am becoming more and more aware that no one on this beautiful earth is poor enough that he/she has to look for something more to lead a happy and contended life. Not even the worst of beggars need anything more for happy life. It is only when I tell myself that my happiness is in HAVING something, that I begin to feel sad for not having it. In other words, if I link my happiness to having a thing, or a person close to me, or adulations and admirations, then when I do not get them, I am bound to be drowned in unhappiness. But there is yet another level where we could be always happy, by being content with my BEING, with all that it implies: the good health I enjoy, the still pure air I breathe, my sensitivity to colors, taste, touch, to name a few.

If there is evil in the world, it is because we have not learned to be happy with what we have, what we are; our mind is obsessed with accumulating more and more, without realizing that each of us have enough and more to survive perhaps at least two life-time. If I tell that I shall be happy with what I have, then I shall not need to cheat or rob others; I will not need to tell lies, I shall not need to kill others to take their properties. Nick had understood the significance of this truth, through hard way, and he knows he is talking about of hard facts which stared in front of his eyes. Once we realize that our happiness is not in having more things, but in enjoying our being, then we begin to live.

The human body, mind and spirit have enough potential to destroy the whole world entirely, or recreate it altogether. It is not merely the physical or mental or psychic power I am talking about, but also a spiritual power which can fuel the world to better the life we live. Today when I have a desire to have something more than what I already have, I shall convince my inner self that I will be happy with what I have, and therefore shall not look for anything more. I hope one day I shall get into the habit of foregoing the fabulous things that the world offers, and find delight and happiness in the little things that I have and treasure. Link for YouTube video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bL3GR4iAW0

Mother and Molester

Of all the Hindu deities, the one to whom I have a special love and admiration is Kali, whose festival we celebrated yesterday. Perhaps it is only in West Bengal that Kali is revered and worshiped as a Mother, following the example of Sri Ramkrishna Paramahamsa and Ramprasad Sen, both of whom had popularized devotion to her. They had “domesticated” the ferocious goddess into a Mother, and the songs of Ramprasad, known as Prasadika, depict the tender love that a devotee has for her, and at times the relationship goes to such an extent that the poet-singer even teases the Mother, asking her to get dressed!

Some years ago I had come across some feminist movements who had found in Kali an embodiment of freedom of the feminine; she dared to do something that our women can never think of; to oppose the evil-minded demon Raktabija, she did not hesitate to drink every drop of blood that came out of the demon, so that the drops did not clone into demons, to fight against the angry face of goddess Durga, which rose as Kali. The sacred text of Devi Mahatmyam has the myths associated with Kali, who can be considered a champion of injustice, and evil forces in society. We celebrate the power of the feminine, which gives life to the world even today.

But let me share an insight from Ramprasad’s songs on Shyama, another name for Kali. He had found in her the embodiment of all his desires and wishes, and therefore he takes liberty to pour out his heart to her. Many of his songs also deal with the plight of the powerless, voiceless and exploited masses, who could take shelter only in the protective arms of the mother. He also presents the kind of world these people live, groping in darkness. She is their only source of consolation, their advocate, their spokesperson. It is time that we wake up the Mothers in our society, who would stand up to speak for the voiceless.

During the last week, I had come across a wide range of feminine figures, who represented different categories of people. I dare not name them, but some of them, and their actions have disturbed me. Sometimes the feminine power and privilege is misused in order to carve a niche for themselves, while stamping on the persons they love. Kali stands on the body of her husband Shiva, who had thrown himself under her feet, in order to stop her rampage, killing all the people she found after winning over Raktabija, and garlanding their skulls. I think of several men, some of them at least innocent, who are mere victims of the ferociousness of women, which may go overboard.

Women have immense potentiality, and no wonder then Kali is often referred to as Shakti, and tantrism is often a means of entering into the limitless power of divine. But this power and potentiality can also be used to subdue the innocent and guileless, and thus create chaos and disorder in life, which is what Kali is often associated with, along with her consort Shiva. Her disheveled hair, reddish tongue dripping blood, almost naked body, are symbolic of the chaos she could cause. The world is in need of the limitless feminine potentiality to charge the world, and overthrow the evil forces, but the same power is also required to give safe haven to the innocent, the last, the least and the lost!

Lighting my Little Lamp

Today is Diwali, the festival of light, and there is an array of colorful lights all around. Most of the houses around have been lit with light of different colors and shapes. It is so wonderful to see the display of light, it is sheer pleasure to behold light. I look at the convent, facing our corridor near the main road, a series of lights (diya) have been lit, and it was a beautiful sight. Women are known for decorating houses on this day, with light. I had known that it is a wonderful day to light candles at least on the corridor near the main road, and brighten up the space, and luckily I found an old packet of tiny candles in one of our cupboards, and made use of them to light up the corridor.

The candles were too tiny to last even ten minutes, I thought, and after lighting some 20 candles, I went for my customary walk; when I returned after about 30 minutes, I could see the light at the corridor, and there were some candles which were still burning. It was a beautiful sight to see a line of candles burning. I hurried to light up some more candles which were left earlier, and I wonder if the corridor had ever seen such candle light soothing its space in all the years of its existence. There is nothing that equals the soothing light of candles or of diyas (earthen lamps). I was happy that I could light up my own little lamp during the ‘festival of light’.

When I first thought of lighting up the corridor today, the line which was flashing in my mind often today was from Rabindranath Tagore, in his poem ‘There are numerous strings in your lute’: “Amidst your numberless stars, Let me place my own little lamp!” There is light all around, and it is not necessary for me to add to the already existing light; however my “little lamps” are sure to add yet another dimension to the light! However small these candles be, they add something new to the world around me, and that is my joy! Often I have the tendency to take for granted: there is already so much light, why take the trouble to light my little lamps!

Looking at the world around, there is always a tendency in me and in others to keep away from what makes the world noble, beautiful and colorful. Why should I take the trouble to do my little part, while it is too tiny, in comparison to what others contribute? Little drops make an ocean, is true, and it takes a little effort on my part to add that little drop; if the world is still worth living and beautiful, I should acknowledge the millions of little drops contributed by millions of people down the years, and several other millions still contributing each and every moment. Then why should I hesitate to light my own little lamps?

If everyone lights up his/her house, the whole locality is sure to be beautifully lit, and that is exactly what the festival of light invites all of us to: to light my little lamp, and I can expect the world to be bright and beautiful. However if I fail to light my little lamps, then I will have no right to blame the world for being dark and damp. It takes very little effort to light my courtyard or corridor, and I don’t need to light up others’ houses; looking at me, probably others may also be inspired to light up their homes, just as I was inspired to light up our corridor after looking at the neatly lit convent! And what a joy it is to celebrate light, which is another name for LIFE!

Nursing Parents’ Wounds

It is quite disheartening to even imagine that parents after about twenty years of blissful marital life could think of separation; whatever be the cause of family discord, it is hard to think of a situation where the couple feel quite incompatible, even after the two girl children, both of them quite grown up. At a time when the elder daughter is old enough to become a mother herself, it is next to impossible for her to think that her parents were contemplating seriously about separation, and she herself would do anything to stop that happening, but then she feels that she is helpless, at least in this situation.

Which child would think of his or her parents being separated; the modern world has seen many such cases, where the children are asked by the court to choose with which parent he/she would like to live, but as everyone is aware it is not possible to make a decision, that a child would live with the father or the mother. A child’s heart is too tender and soft to be torn apart by two parties. Granted that the two girls are grown up, that is not the reason for the parents to think of separation, and it is doubtful if the couple had exhausted all the possibilities of keeping the light of their marital bliss alive and blazing.

Parents are expected to nurse the wounds of their growing children, to stand by their side when the storms of life shake them from the root, but here is a situation where the children are called in to nurse the wounds of the parents, and the children just beginning to see the true color of the world are forced to witness yet another harsh reality of life, and they could hardly accept which looms before them. But would the parents who had been having stormy sessions on regular intervals down the years, think of giving another chance to the spouse to amend and get the family ties going? If the personal peace and happiness is what matters most to the couple, then it would have been better if they had not married at all!

For the elder daughter, who had offered her life to the Lord, it is more than her share of suffering the Lord had given to her, and every time she remembered the situation back at home, her eyes are filled with tears, but is it possible to leave behind the family, parents and the relationships and concentrate on her own personal call! As an individual who had grown nourishing the love and care of the parents, she feels she cannot afford to let this thing happen to her parents, but she is also aware of the crude reality, which reminds her, what if they do not care to listen to her plea! She would not have any one to appeal to!

It is not that my parents have peaceful life after about 45 years of their marriage; they have their own share of misunderstanding, quarrels, but I know one thing for sure, they could never think of separation, and even if they fight, we know for sure they would be back to talking terms after a couple of days. But times are changing, and if married persons were to think only of their personal freedom, happiness and peace of mind, then the family is bound to go to pieces and it would be impossible for anyone to save the situation. It is only God who can intervene to stop the couple breaking away, because their breaking is sure to affect the lives of the children too, and that is the reason why the daughters have begun to storm the heaven with their prayers.

Ignatian Insights 10: Desolation

Opposite of consolation is desolation, and is yet another important term developed by Inigo on the basis of his own spiritual experiences. The first time that Inigo mentions ‘desolation’ in the Spiritual Exercises is in No. 13, “to act against the desolation and overcome the temptations, the exercitant ought to remain always a little longer than the full hour…” But for an explanation of what he means by this term, we need to move to the Discernment of Spirits for Week I. After explaining consolation, Inigo explains desolation: “By this kind of desolation I mean everything which is the contrary of whatever described in the Third Rule; for example, obtuseness of soul, turmoil within it, an impulsive motion toward low and earthly things, or disgust from various agitations and temptations” (317:1-2).

This is a spiritual experience, which can be likened to the “dark night of the soul” of some of the saints of our times, such as St Theresa of Avila, St John of the Cross, and even Blessed Teresa of Kolkata. Here one experiences the lack of the evangelical virtues of hope, faith and charity, and one feels listless, tepid, unhappy and separated from God (317:3). If this is the painful moment one goes through, Inigo observes that the person should not make a change, but should remain firm and constant in the resolutions and decisions made before the desolation (318:1). There is yet another thing that we should do at the time of desolation: “by insisting on prayer, meditation, earnest self-examination, and some suitable way of doing penance” (319).

Though at the time of desolation we may feel quite low and feel the Lord has withdrawn his abundant fervour, love and grace, and yet he supplies his grace for our salvation. In other words, during this time, one may feel the absence of the Lord, but it is not the absence in reality, but merely a feeling of the absence of the Lord; that is to say, one’s inner eyes are blinded during this time, and one is not able to see the Lord. Therefore Inigo invites us to persevere in patience, and this way one may be able to counterattack against the vexations experienced. And one can be sure that soon consolation will return, and one may experience the nearness of God and the increase of hope, faith and charity (321).

In no. 322, Inigo presents three chief causes of desolation: first, we ourselves are tepid, lazy or negligent in our spiritual exercises and therefore consolation leaves; second, it is meant to test how much we will be able to align ourselves with God and his service even in the apparent absence of his presence, and third, to recognize and understand that all expressions of consolation, namely great devotion, intense love, tears are a gift and grace from God, and reminding us not to indulge in vainglory that we merited the spiritual consolation.

We could ask ourselves, what the notion of desolation reminds us of, and why it is important for us to be aware of this. First, every person who is seriously concerned about his/her spiritual well-being will be confronted by desolation at some time or other, and we should be prepared to face it when it comes. Second, Inigo presents some simple ways of responding to desolation, which may come handy to us. Third, Inigo reminds us that desolation is not the time to lose all hope of finding God, and the peace and tranquillity which flow from Him, but to remain steadfast and wait patiently for consolation. Fourth, he reminds us that often we ourselves may cause desolation, and therefore warns us not to give scope to them.

Ignatian Insights 9: Indifference

The English word ‘indifference’ perhaps does not adequately express what Inigo meant by the word, and therefore it demands an explanation. This principle is so central to Inigo’s understanding of the spiritual journey of a person, without perfecting this ‘indifference’, it would be impossible to excel in spiritual virtues. It is so central that Inigo introduces this notion already in the Principle and Foundation (no. 23) of the Spiritual Exercises. This is considered a basic attitude demanded of a person who sincerely seeks to achieve his own salvation and that of his neighbour.

Let us consider what Inigo means by ‘indifference’ in the Spiritual Exercises: “To attain this [goal for which I am created], it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things, in regard to everything which is left to our free will and is not forbidden” (23:5). George E. Ganss explains what Inigo implies by ‘indifference’ – “undetermined to one thing or option rather than another; impartial, unbiased; without decision suspended until the reasons for a wise choice are learned; still undecided”. This implies interior freedom from disordered affections. We would do great injustice to Inigo if we take this word to mean unconcerned about the issue, which is what the word may mean to an ordinary person.

Indifference as observed by Inigo is a noble and spiritual value, and is not easy to attain, unless we are able to free ourselves from the personal bias, prejudices and lopsided attachments. Only the people who are ready to start the spiritual journey from the starting point, without already having a ready-made route map will be able to choose the best means to reach the destination, and the best way which is sure to reach him. Any attempt to start the journey with a pre-conceived route map and the possible means, it would automatically exclude all other means some of which may be more expedient and favourable to reach the destination. But the problematic area is to free the mind and heart from any pre-fabricated route maps, and start from ground zero.

This notion of spiritual indifference, if we may call this so, is so very dear to other religious traditions too. In the Bhagavad Gita, while talking about the kind of people who are dear to Him, Lord Krishna tells his disciple Arjuna that those who are neither cold or hot, neither moved by joys or sorrows, those who are not affected by praise or accusations, such are the people who are dear to Him. In other words, those who are controlled by the human choices, which can be erroneous often, and those swayed by the movements of the mind, they would not be able to focus their attention on the Lord, or His words.

Inigo invites us to embark on our spiritual journey, without choosing the route map of our own making, the fruit of our own whims and fancies, and are invited to leave behind our extra sandals, tunic and purse, because these are the very things Jesus told his disciples to leave behind, when he sent them on their first missionary enterprise. It is only then that we will be able to feel the providential care of God, who alone knows best what we are in need of, and which means can best serve us. Indifference does not mean unconcernedness, but even moves close to the more difficult and challenging option, and if only we taste what this means in our spiritual life, we will begin to make it part of our spiritual costume to protect ourselves from onslaught by the world.

Ignatian Insights 8: Tantum Quantum

Several means may be employed in order to achieve a particular goal, and we may not rate the means equally. Some of the means may be superior to others, and some others easy and practical. If we are to be stuck by the means while assessing them, then we may miss the bus; our aim is to discern the most suitable means which will take us to the fulfillment of the goal. Here I cannot hold on to any of the means, but should strive to be "indifferent" to the available means. Connected to the notion of 'indifference' is the important idea of tantum quantum, which is one of the central themes of the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises (no. 23). He insists that I should be prepared to accept only the means which would take me to the goal.

Human as we are, there are several biases, prejudices and pre-conceived notions which control the selection of the means to reach the goal. We may be attached to certain means, which, instead of taking us to the goal, may only distract and distance us. Here what is more important is the conviction as to what I really want. If I would like to have an experience of the forest, I should not be lost in the details of a particular tree. But if the means become my primary concern, then it is an indication I am not giving sufficient importance to the goal. I may come to know more about that particular tree, but may not know anything about the forest. Sri Ramkrishna used to say, there are as many ways as there are opinions.

It is only through an impartial adn even indifferent sifting and consideration of the means which can take me to the goal. It is only when I am prepared to take only the means which will take me to the end, that I will be focusing on the goal, instead of the means. The means cannot occupy my central focus, but the goal should. Here Inigo presents the golden rule of tantum quantum, meaning I should make use of the means only in as much as they take me to the goal I am aiming at. If they take me to the goal, I shall use them, and if they do not, then I shall not use them. However I should remember that all the means should be just adn rightful.

It is from this understanding that Inigo proceeds to state that I should be open to make use of whichever means that will help me, and therefore I shall not favour one to another. Therefore I shall seek one means to another, but keeping myself 'indifferent' to the means. It is possible that I might think a particular means may take me to the goal, but after some time I may realize that it was taking me another direction. Thus long life or short life, riches or poverty, sickness or health, we should be open to whichever means that is useful to us.

It may be difficult for us to choose the right means if we are not free from 'inordinate attachments', which may bind us. For instance, if I am attached to long life, I may revolt with God, when I am to glorify him thorugh my short life. Similarly if God invites me to bear witness to him through poverty, when I am attached to riches, I might struggle to stomach the challenge God may present to me. If only we begin to make use of this golden rule of Inigo, to select the means to rach a particular goal, then we will have more things to thank and praise God!

Ignatian Insights 7: Consolation

Inigo was in touch with what was happening to himself, from the time of his convalescence at the castle of Loyola, after he was wounded at the battle of Pompalona. He could recognize two kinds of movements as he dreamed of the lady of high position, whom he desired to marry, and as he reflected about the life of Christ and of saints. In his ‘autobiography’ he states that some thoughts left him dry, while some others left him happy and peaceful. He was already sifting the movements of his heart, and that would become the foundation of his understanding on the movements of the spirit. But for now we shall concentrate on his understanding on consolation, the movement of the spirit which led him to inner peace and joy.

He goes on to explain this concept when he deals with Discernment of Spirits for Week I. The way he had given the title for this chapter in the Spiritual Exercises is quite interesting. He writes, ‘Rules to aid us toward perceiving and then understanding at least to some extent, the various motions which are caused in the soul: the good motions that they may be received, and the bad that they may be rejected’. The numbers that deal with consolation are 316, 323-24. First let us understand what he means by consolation.

By this kind of consolation I mean that which occurs when some interior motion is caused within the soul through which it comes to be inflamed with love of its Creator and Lord. As a result it can love no created thing on the face of the earth in itself, but only in the Creator of them all (SpEx 316:1). It is important that we realize that consolation is an “interior motion” and therefore it cannot be associated with external experiences, and the result is the soul being inflamed with the love of God, leading to love him alone! It is a spiritual experience, which cannot be roused by ourselves. God is the origin of all consolation.

Inigo observes yet one more vital aspect to mean consolation : “every increase in hope, faith and charity, and every interior joy which calls and attracts one toward heavenly things and to the salvation of one’s soul, by bringing it tranquillity and peace in its Creator and Lord” (SpEx 316:4). Therefore when we experience an increase in the evangelical virtues of faith, hope and charity, we know that we are experiencing consolation, and the fruit of this experience will be evident in the interior joy, attraction towards heavenly things, tranquillity and peace. It is not that only spiritual persons experience consolation; at some time or other every one of us go through this kind of experience, though we may not realize that this is consolation.

Every consolation may lead us to desolation, and therefore while experiencing consolation, one should prepare to face desolation (SpEx 323), and one should conduct oneself humbly (324). It is a wonderful feeling to experience consolation, but one should not forget that there is no perpetual consolation; everyone has to go through dark nights of the soul, desolation in the terminology of Inigo. He goes on to show the origin of consolation: without a preceding cause (SpEx 330), by means of a preceding cause acting for the progress of the soul (SpEx 331). Therefore Inigo invites us to examine if the consolation actually proceeds from God, or if it actually comes from the evil one.

Ignatian Insights 6: Agere contra

In his times, Inigo should have been not only a popular, much-sought-after spiritual master, but also an expert psychologist, psycho-analyst, who paved the way for the future Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. He was able to probe into the human mind and heart, and bring out the best in them. He was able to propose answers to some of the perennial problems seekers had been going through, especially in search of spiritual well-springs. One wonders how he was able to present the problems of the human mind and heart, and provide suitable solutions to counter them! It is obvious that Inigo began to observe his own self for a considerable amount of time, which resulted in his recommendations to tame the human mind and heart.

Since he knew how to tame and bring to full control the normal human tendencies, Inigo made use of simple tools to do this. Agere contra (in Latin, acting against) is one such tool, with which Inigo was able to bring an order or discipline in the life of a person. This notion is found in many of the works of the spiritual master, especially in his spiritual classic, the Spiritual Exercises. In the Introductory Explanations, no. 13, Inigo points out how agere contra could become a useful tool to defeat the enemy: “Hence, to act against the desolation and overcome the temptations, the exercitant ought to remain always a little longer than the full hour, and in this way become accustomed not merely to resist the enemy but even to defeat him”.

The same thing could also be applied to other spheres of one’s spiritual life, and the purpose of doing the opposite is to defeat the enemy, and not to give scope for falling. This is very much in tune with the new teachings of Jesus, as found in the Sermon on the Mount, showing our second cheek to someone who slaps us, and to give the tunic to the one who takes our cloak, and walk for two miles with the one who asks us to walk for a mile, though here the intention is to defeat the psychological victory of the person who imposes certain thing on us. This implies that we should be well-disposed to accept and even willingly embrace privation, humiliation, insults and ultimately to humble ourselves as our master was.

During the initial years of his new life, Inigo had studied the different tricks that the Satan had employed in him, and out of them he had drawn this practical implication. In his spiritual journal, popularly known as his autobiography, Inigo had narrated how he was tempted to keep his hair long and nails growing, because he wanted to be as close to the saints as possible, and as a sign of his penitent life, and after he realized that it was the temptation imposed on him by the evil one, he cut his hair and nail, and thus defeated the tricks of the enemy. Thus Inigo had found agere contra bringing a lot of spiritual fruit both in his personal life and in the life of those who practised it.

We shall find that the notion is very effective in the case of persons who would like to excel in their practice of spiritual virtues, so that they always go one step ahead of where they are left. They cannot afford to let the evil one take chance over them, and through a calculated move, the evil one had to be defeated, and the aspirant would deprive himself of the personal pleasure, comfort and other privileges. Agere contra could be practised only by persons who are well-disposed, and are generous enough not to count the personal loss or wounds inflicted by others. It is obvious then that this is meant for those who are good and virtuous, and wish to go ahead in coming closer to the Lord, and not meant for those who are struggling with their vices.

Ignatian Insights 5 : Salvation

Salvation had been one of the predominant themes at the time Inigo lived, and this notion had a deep impact on the man who had great dreams. The human salvation had been one of the preoccupations of Inigo throughout his life. When he was stuck by the cannon ball of the French army at the battle of Pampalona, he was least bothered about his salvation, leave alone of others. But as he was convalescing at the Loyola Castle, and reading the lives of Christ and of saints, he realized a need to ask himself what he was seeking in life, and that led him to a life-long quest, searching for ways of achieving his salvation and that of others.

The quest of personal salvation and that of others has been a major concern for Inigo, as he avowed to go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, after his health was restored at Loyola. This he put down at the Principle and Foundation in his little book, The Spiritual Exercises (no. 23). He had realized that the goal of human existence was to praise, reverence God and by doing this to achieve one’s own salvation, and that of others. The notions of vain glory, honor and pride, the three cardinal vices which Satan’s camp advocated, could only prevent him from achieving his salvation.

We may wonder why Inigo was preoccupied with this notion almost from the very beginning of his new life; though he had occasionally experienced the fear of the fires of hell for his past sins, his main reason for paying close attention to personal salvation was to find avenues where he would find lasting peace, joy and consolation. The day dreaming about vain glory and the noble lady whom he desired to marry, only left him high and dry. He realized Christ and the saints alone could open the gates of his personal salvation.

As soon as he embarked on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, with no moneyand possessions, but fully trusting in the providence of God, he felt deep within an urge to share his spiritual insights with others. He engaged himself in spiritual conversation with people who were attracted to his piety and holiness. This was not an attempt on the part of Inigo to parade his spiritual insights, but he was keenly interested in influencing others to come back to the Lord and find their own salvation in him. He felt he could positively influence others who were inclined to his sharing, and thus drew them closer to God. He was not always successful in bringing people back to God, but he made sincere attempts to help others find their own salvation.

It would be quite irrelevant to ask ourselves if Inigo was successful in achieving the salvation of himself and that of others. He realized that after his conversion he was a changed man, who was committed to the Lord, and he could never think of getting back to his earlier times of chivalry or royal service. The fact that he had several significant spiritual experiences, especially at river Cardoner, at St Paul outside Rome, we know that he was placed with Christ carrying his Cross, as a true son and servant of God. Inigo wished to remind us that part of our salvation also depends on the salvation of others we are living with. And herein lies yet another unique contribution of Ignatius of Loyola.

Ignatian Insights 4 : Heart

Inigo from the moment of his conversion at the age of 21 comes across to us as a man of the heart, whose life-long journey in spirit has been prompted and propelled by the heart. He gave more importance to how human heart was able to put us in close touch with our spirit, than our head can possibly do. He did not disregard the important and vital role rationality played in the life of persons, but he was quite conscious more often it was the heart which could open the gates to God, if one was alert and prompt to the indications of the heart.

It is evident from the journey of Inigo – from Loyola Castle to Rome, to occupy the upper room which became his office – spanning some 40 years, that he was constantly in touch with what was happening to himself, and he tried to take snapshots of his heart constantly, especially the examination of consciousness twice daily. It is not a mental exercise, but a review of the past hours to find the footprints of God in our hearts. Those who fail to recognize God’s footprints are sure to blame him for his absence. Inigo’s heart was constantly raising itself to God, who alone resided at the core of its being, and nourished Inigo all through.

The priority that Inigo gave to the human heart is also evident from the fact that Inigo wanted the exercitants of the Spiritual Exercises to go through contemplations, which would help them to be in touch with their hearts. The fifth prayer hour of each day of the 30 days spiritual experience was devoted to the Application of the Senses, which again made the exercitant to be alert to the movements of his body. He was quite convinced that it was only through the five senses of the body that we could get in touch with the heart.

It was the preponderance with the heart that made Inigo to observe in the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus that it would not be the letter of law, but the spirit of love/charity, which would be the guiding principle. And he did mean by this. No wonder then that Inigo was often moved to tears when he contemplated divine mysteries, or when he participated at the Eucharistic celebrations, or when he gazed at the sky at night. He was animated by the heart, which is traditionally understood as the seat of love and all affective influences.

Inigo felt that it was God who was the master of us all, and who alone should have direct access to our souls. For this reason, he instructed those giving the Spiritual Exercises not to get between God and the exercitant. The modern world is vary of anything to do with the heart, because it holds that heart is prone to errors and therefore more emphasis had been given to reason and objectivity. It is in this light that the importance Inigo gave to the human heart is both important and significant.

Ignatian Insights 3 : Magis

If there is one very special characteristic, among many, which distinguished Ignatius of Loyola was his insatiable optimism and an inner drive which propelled him to pierce through status quo, to find pastures untrodden. He would not tolerate the good people, he would push them to better people; it is no point in being just good, he might have been telling his companions, they should become better people, after their encounter with the Lord, and that is how they would be able to show their love for the one who called them out of their stagnancy. This had made a lot of difference in the men he formed and sent on a mission.

If we skim through the writings of Ignatius, it would become obvious that he was fond of the comparative degree. Look at the Principle and Foundation of the Spiritual Exercises (23:7), where he already lays emphasis on this comparative ‘more’ : “Rather, we ought to desire and choose only that which is more conducive to the end for which we are created”. This ‘more’ has become one of the characteristic features of the Jesuit mission, where they would not be satisfied with the way things are going, but be always on the look out for doing things in a better way.

In the Kingdom of Christ meditation (91-100) of the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius again employs this principle of ‘more’ to encourage the exercitant to greater generosity. This is what he observes in the Third Point of the Second Part (97): “Those who desire to show greater devotion and to distinguish themselves in total service to their eternal King and universal Lord, will not only offer their persons for the labour, but go further still.” This shows that Ignatius was not the one who entertained a mediocre, the complacent, but was prepared to push people as far as they could move, without coercing obviously into their personal freedom.

This had become the rallying point for Ignatius in the Spiritual Exercises. In the Second Week, on the very first Contemplation on the Incarnation, he invites the exercitant to ask for the grace (104) : “Here it will be to ask for an interior knowledge of Our Lord, who became human for me, that I may love him more intensely and follow him more closely.” He takes for granted that the exercitant is well disposed towards the Lord and doing his will, but he is also aware that he has to do something more as a proof of his love for the Lord, who became a human person for the sake of the fallen humanity. This ‘more’ obviously is open-ended, and even at the time of our death, we will still be searching for this ‘more’.

It was the insatiable thirst of the human persons which was responsible for the advancement of science and technology; Ignatius wishes us to explore the spiritual world with this notion of ‘magis’, as is so very evident in the motto of the Society of Jesus, which contains the trademark of Ignatius, Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam – For the Greater Glory of God! If everyone sought the glory of God, Ignatius wanted his sons to aim for the greater glory of God, thus going beyond the ordinary. Ignatius was a visionary, a dreamer, whose eyes were fixed on greater things, and that accounts for the many wonderful things that his sons are able to do here and now!

Ignatian Insights 2 : Exercises

The spiritual master Ignatius of Loyola begins his handbook for retreat directors called the Spiritual Exercises with an introductory note, explaining the word ‘spiritual exercises’: “By the term Spiritual Exercises we mean every method of examination fo conscience, meditation, contemplation, vocal or mental prayer and other spiritual activities, …” (SpEx 1:2). To look at the spiritual activities as ‘exercises’ was a novel idea that Ignatius introduced in the spiritual sphere. One would not think of the term used in the spiritual sphere, because we would like to take it for granted that the matters relating to our spiritual life is determined by God.

Ignatius further explains the word ‘exercise’ : “For, just as taking a walk, traveling on foot, and running are physical exercises, so is the name spiritual exercises given to any means of preparing and disposing our soul to rid itself of all its disordered affections and then, after their removal, of seeking and finding God’s will in the ordering of our life for the salvation of our soul” (SpEx 1:3-4). Ignatius summarises the whole book in this one sentence, and gives the gist in a nutshell, but in order to understand what he really means by the spiritual exercises, we will have to dissect this sentence and cull out the salient features.

First of all, just as our bodies require exercises to keep them fit, so also our spirits require exercises to keep them ablaze with love and happiness. Thus this exercises demand something from us, which will contribute to the overall wellbeing of our selves. However these are not the kind of exercises which put a strain on the body or the soul, but are simple tools to look at what we are, who we are, and how our existence on earth is related to others and to God… We shall constantly move from ourselves to our neighbours and ultimately to God. It is only through these kind of exercises that we will be able to bring peace and harmony within the soul.

Secondly, anyone who thinks that s/he will be able to come closer to himself/herself, to nature, to neighbours and to God would be only cheating, because it is only through a disciplined life that we can reach out to others. This implies that the exercises need to be done constantly, and not once in a while; therefore certain amount of regularity in the exercises is desirable, and if not the prayers or other pieties, one is recommended to do at least the examination of consciousness twice a day, since that is the review of life for that day, which will tell us where we are going.

Thirdly, it would be arrogant on our part to think that only the exercises recommended by Ignatius of Loyola can really take us to our inner selves, to our neighbours and to God; there are several ways to achieve this goal, and all the ways maybe equally good. It does not much matter which way we are choosing, provided we are sure to reach the goal without much difficulty. Contemplating the life of Christ can give us the much needed inner boost and strength to face the world courageously, but we can as well reach God through Yoga, especially karma yoga and bhakti yoga. We need to discern which way will take us to God in a surer way, that is where Ignatius begins his exercises.

Preaching through Life

It is one thing to know and another thing to really feel it in our bones. Facts do not touch us, except when they come to give us the much needed jolt or shock. It is like everyone knows that smoking is injurious to health, but one does not care for the statutory warning by the government until the physician tells the person after a mild attack that if he does not give up smoking, he would have just a few more months to live. The person had known the facts, but it was only the shock that would refrain him from resorting to the next cigarette. So many things in life are based on this simple notion that we are not touched by facts, but wait for a jolt which would wake us out of the slumber.

It is so easy to talk about something, but when it comes to cross checking what we talk with what we do, it might make us ashamed. Today as I walked back home after the Mass at the Cloistered Carmel Convent, the regular couple I see often during the Mass were returning home. I slowed down my walk to say hello to them, and after the greetings, the lady asked me if the new practices of liturgical rubrics are in vogue or not, and I told her quite confidently that they were. Then she asked me, Why are the people not following them still, and I was trying to evade her question saying that the people have not been adequately informed about the changes.

In my enthusiasm, I told her that it is the duty of the pastors to educate the people and invite them to follow the new rubrics. She was sharp enough to ask me immediately, in that case, why didn’t you tell the people today, and I did not know what to say. I did not realize that she would put that embarrassing question to me. Then she pleaded, please inform them during the Mass! It came as an eye-opener for me to realize that quite often I do not realize what I preach to others, and needless to say, I do not care to practice much of what I preach, and it is a sad thing, and I hope to do something about this at least in the days to come.

There is a little hole in my authenticity, that is to say there is an incongruity between what I preach to others and what I practice in my person life. It is true that when I preach, I do it as a servant of God, while when I practice, I do it as an individual. There is a difference in the two roles I constantly play, however it is the same person. I am sure there would be more people who would be moved to practice not what I preach, but what I practice in my own life. The greatest scripture I can preach to others is my personal life, how God is acting in me and through me, and how I find him in others, in nature and in the universe. I can preach so well with my life, and not necessarily by my words.

Maybe it is time that I reduce my preaching in words and begin to preach through my life; I know it is not that easy to do, because I need to learn some of the basics all over again. I need to look at what I had been advocating to others, so that I myself my inculcate some of the values. For instance, I have been quite good in giving advice to those in trouble and difficulty, while I have not realized that I myself had been in such a situation many a times, and had not felt the need to seek help and assistance. I need to get down from the pulpit and stand in the midst of people who are struggling to make meaning out of my words, and I shall find some meaning in them for myself, so that they may inspire others too!

Art of Saying No Gracefully

I know many of us suffer from this weakness: unable to say no someone dear to us! We are pushed to resorting to pleasing others, at the extent of displeasing ourselves, all because we do not have the guts to call cards. One thing which is at the back of our mind, when we force ourselves to oblige is the fear of losing the goodwill that we enjoy with these people. At the other side of the spectrum is the consciousness of our own reputation: what will s/he think if I do not oblige? Ultimately we end up pleasing others, while deep within displeasing ourselves, which may in the long run become a compulsive syndrome difficult to placate.

We need to master the difficult art of saying no gracefully! Here the words art and gracefully are significant. Since it is an art, it needs to be cultivated; we are not born with the rudiments of this art, but we need to learn through the hard way. Saying ‘no’ rudely or indifferently will have its severe consequences, and therefore we should employ the best of our smile, choicest gentle and polite words, and harken the best tonal quality to convey this stern no! It is on how we say this no, which will determine if it will have dire consequences, or happy conclusions to one of the problems which had been pricking our conscience for long.

When it comes to inter personal relationships, we are all too frightened about others; we do not wish to challenge others, because we feel that if we do, others may forsake us, and we will be left without friends. Therefore we would go all the way to compromise! And if our friends can make out that we have begun to compromise, they are sure to make use of it for their own advantage, and we may be left to drown ourselves in misery and fear. But the fact is not all the people who receive a gentle ‘no’ will feel offended; they may even feel happy that we had the courage to say no so gracefully. In this case, instead of the relationship remaining status quo, it may grow into a healthy relationship.

But we cannot over rule the consequences, if for some reason or other our gracefulness does not make the magic! A person or two may be offended and may even burst out in public, and this is part of the deal, in being authentic to ourselves. Which one would we prefer: trying to please others even while going against our wish, or to please ourselves without displeasing others. The dire consequences, if there be any, may not last long, and people may come back to us, when they realize that we were not in a position to entertain their request at the time they required. But that may take some time, and we may have to practice patience till then.

There are very few people who have really mastered this difficult art, and I have come across people who would refuse a favour so sweetly that I would not mind that at all, and again when I need something to be done by them, I would not hesitate to approach them. We all need to practice this art, because it would come to our aid at any time, especially when we are to work under a senior person, who would demand things which we may not be in a position to fulfil. We will be able to find and retain more friends by mastering this art, if only we know how to do it. There is no short cut to learning this art; we may have to start practising smiling sweetly; maybe a mirror may help us to accomplish. The second thing that can help is a set of sweet words. That will do to start mastering this art of saying no gracefully.